Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
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Jasmine’s Blog – Why Can’t I Walk?
In China, people tell me I can walk. In China, I see doctor and doctor says I can walk. The people are lying. I can’t walk. The people tell me if I come to America I can walk. I believe what the people tell me. I come America. I go see lots of doctors and every doctor see me say I can’t walk. I have SMA. (Spinal Muscular Atrophy)
But sometimes I really want to walk. I don’t understand why the boss tell me that you come to America then you can walk. The nannies tell me that no one will want me because people won’t spend money on somebody who doesn’t walk so they say I have to stay in the orphanage. They say I too heavy, really heavy so no body will want me. (*FYI – Jasmine weighs 90 pounds.)
Before I do my back surgery, I thought if I did that surgery, I would be able to walk. But I still can’t walk after I done with surgery. I was really sad because I really want to walk. People always tell me that doctors in America really good and they can help me walk but it is not true.
When I was 5 my grandma was mad at me for not being able to walk She was so mad at me because she don’t know why I can’t walk. When I was little I could walk holding on to the wall but then I can’t do it any more. My grandma says I am pretending not be able to walk. So my grandma take a something hot and put it on my leg. It burned my leg. But I can’t walk.
My grandma take me to the orphanage because she can’t take care of me anymore because I too heavy. I can’t walk and I really heavy so she can’t take care of me so she took me to the orphanage. If I could still walk, my grandma would keep me.
One time in China the nannies say I can walk so they test me put the food over where I can’t reach it. The nanny says if you can reach it you can eat and if you can not reach it you can not eat it and be hungry. I try all day and I can’t reach the food. I really hungry. The nanny hit me and say, “You can’t reach it and I have to do everything. You should walk. Why you can not walk?” I just cry and can’t say anything.
In the orphanage I sat in the corner all day because I can’t walk. Everybody that can walk can go downstairs and play and go to school. They eat downstairs. There were four floors. I was on the third floor. I couldn’t move my wheelchair. I just watched tv and eating and take a nap. I can do nothing. I watch them play and I want to play too but if I ask them to play with me they say you can’t walk so you can’t play. Because they are running. For a little bit I can move my wheelchair but I am really slow.
In China, the orphanage I can’t drink because people say I will have to potty lots and they don’t want to take me to the potty because I too heavy. Sometimes I sit on potty chair all day because they don’t want to take me to the potty. Sometimes I sleep on the potty chair at night because they don’t want to lift me on the bed because I too heavy. Sometimes I think I could be not heavy and then everyone can carry me and they won’t be mad at me. I want to go potty by myself but I can’t.
Sometimes the nannies won’t take me to bed because they don’t want to carry me. They just let me sleep on the floor. They don’t give me blanket or anything. At night I very cold. Then everybody sleeping really good but I not sleeping really good because it is cold and the floor is really hard. They tell me I should come up to bed. I can’t stand up but they say I can walk. Sometimes I feel like nobody care about me. If one day I could walk everything would be so good. I could walk and do everything and the nannies wouldn’t have to help me. I wouldn’t get yelled at and the nannies would like me, but I can’t do anything.
When I come to America I get a power wheelchair. I feel like I walking. I can go really fast. I really like how that feels. I can go outside and play. I can do school. I can go outside and go really fast around the circle. I really like it.
They say I can’t do anything but that is not true. I can do lots of things!
I can cook.
I can go to Adventureland!
I can go to the zoo.
I can ride in the bus.
I can feed the ducks.
I can ride a merry-go-round!
I can play outside with my siblings.
I can do lots of things. I don’t have to walk. I can do lots and lots of stuff and have lots of fun!
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为什么我不能走路？在中国，人们都告诉我，我可以走路。在中国，我看到医生，医生说我可以走。们人在说谎。我不能走。人们告诉我， 如果我来美国，我可以走路。我相信人们告诉我。我来美国。 我去看到很多医生和每个医生见到我都说我不能走路。我有SMA。 （脊髓性肌萎缩） 但是有时候我真的好想走路。我不明白为什么老板告诉我说，你来到美国，那么你可以走路。保姆告诉我，没有人会想要我的， 因为人们不会把钱花在别人身上不会走路的人所以他们说我要留在孤 儿院。他们说我太重了，真的很重，没有人会着想我。 （* 参考 – 茉莉花重量90磅。） 之前，我做我的背部手术，我想如果我做了手术，我能走路。但我还是不能走路后，我做完手术的时候。我真的很伤心， 因为我真的好想走路。人们总是告诉我，在美国的医生非常好， 他们可以帮助我走路，但是事实并不是真的。 当我5我的时候祖母是很生气我不能走路，她很生气我，因为她不知道，为什么我不能走路。我小的时候， 我可以抱墙上着走路，但后来我不能做任何更多事情。 我奶奶说我故意的不能走路。所以，我的奶奶乘坐热的东西， 并把它放在我的腿上。它烧了我的腿。但是真的我不能走路。 我的奶奶带我去孤儿院，因为她不能照顾我了，因为我太重了。我不能走，我真的很重，因此她不能照顾我让她带我去了孤儿院。 如果我能走路的话我奶奶就会把我留在她的身边。 有一次，在中国的保姆说我可以走，这样他们考我把食物在那里我不能拿到它。保姆说， 如果你能拿到它，你就可以吃，如果你不能拿到它，你就不能吃它， 你就饿了。我尝试了一整天，我无法到拿的食物。我真的饿了。 保姆打我，说，“你不能拿到它，我必须做的一切。你应该走路。 为什么你不能走？“我只是哭，什么都不能说。 在孤儿院我在角落里一整天坐着，因为我不能走。每个人都可以走下楼玩，去上学。他们吃饭楼下。有四个楼层。 我是在三楼。我不能动我的轮椅。我只是看电视，吃饭和午睡。 我什么东西我都不能做。我看他们玩，我看他们玩， 但是如果我问他们跟我一起玩的话，他们说你不能走路， 所以你不能玩。因为它们正在跑步。一点点我可以移动我的轮椅， 但我真的很慢。 在中国，孤儿院里我不能喝水，因为有人说我去便盆很多，他们不想带我去便盆，因为我太重了。有时候， 我整天坐在便盆椅子上，因为他们不想带我去便盆。 有时有时我睡在椅子便盆晚上，因为他们想让我自己爬上床去， 因为我太重了。有时候，我觉得我不可能是那么的重那多好， 然后每个人都可以把我抱起来，他们不会生我的气。 我想通过自己去便盆，但是我不能。 有时保姆不会带我去睡觉，因为他们不喜欢背着我。他们只是让我睡在地板上。他们不给我毯子什么的。晚上，我很冷。 然后大家都睡觉确实不错，但我不睡觉真的不好， 因为它是寒冷和地板真的很难。他们告诉我，我应该爬上去睡觉。 我不能站起来，但他们说我可以走。有时候我觉得没有人关心我。 如果有一天我能走路一切会这么好。我可以走路， 做一切和保姆就不用帮我。 我不会被保姆大声吼我然后保姆就会喜欢我，但我不能做任何事情。 当我来到美国，我得到一个电动轮椅。我觉得我走。我可以去真快。我真的很喜欢那种感觉。我可以出去玩。我可以读书。 我可以到外面去，去真快绕了一圈。我很喜欢 他们说我不能做任何事情，但事实并非如此。我可以做很多事情！我可以做饭。我可以去探险！我可以去动物园。我可以骑在巴士上。我可以喂鸭子。我可以骑旋转木马轮！我可以和我的兄弟姐妹在外面玩。我可以做很多事情。我不走。我可以做很多很多的东西，有很多的乐趣！ -
28 Days of Hearts
Today we share our story on 28 Days of Hearts. Please take a look at the stories of beautiful children adopted from China with congenital heart disease. Your heart will be moved.
Hope, Benjamin, Evie and Elijah
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Jasmine’s Blog – Family and Orphanages are Different
家庭和福利院是不一样的我觉得家庭和福利院真的不一样，因为家庭有温暖有爱！我们家有14个人。有时候我们会很疯狂，
有时候我们也会非常非常的吵。我的家人是很多， 但是我不觉得像一个福利院。有时候我觉得家很幸福！ 在福利院的时候我们不能这样。我们只能老老实实坐着而且我们不能出声。 如果我们出声音的话阿姨们就会吼我们。 当我被爸爸妈妈收养我的时候，阿姨跟我说：“ 你要到另外一个福利院了。”因为他们说妈妈爸爸有很多的孩子， 而且就像一个福利院。可是我不这么觉得呀！ 我觉得我的家庭有热闹有欢乐！但是福利院并没有欢乐和热闹。 有时候我不懂那个阿姨跟我说这个呀。爸爸妈妈这么的疼爱我！ 这么会是福利院呢？ 爸爸妈妈有很多的孩子因为他们有很多的爱心！Family and Orphanage are DifferentI think family and orphanage really are different, because family have warmness and have love.Our family have 14 people. Sometimes we would be crazy, sometimes we could also be very loud. I had a lot of family members, but I don’t think it’s like an orphanage. I think family is very blessed.In the Orphanage we couldn’t do that. We can only just sit there and couldn’t make any sounds. If we make any sounds, the nannies would scold us. When I was going to be adopted, the nannies said, “You are going to move to another orphanage.” because they said that mama and papa have a lot of kids, and is like an orphanage. However, I don’t think that ways! I think that family have loudness and happiness. However, orphanage doesn’t have loudness and happiness. Sometimes I don’t understand why the nannies said that to me. Papa and mama love me so much, how this could be an orphanage?———————————————————Jasmine wrote this blog post after she and I had a conversation about my Facebook post about people comparing large families to orphanages. Jasmine started laughing at my comment and then shared what the nannies had said to her when they saw our family picture. I asked Jasmine why it didn’t scare her to think that she was going from one orphanage to another orphanage. Jasmine said it was because we all looked like we loved each other and were happy and that never happens in an orphanage.
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Even If
We recently bought tickets to go see Jeremy Camp and Kutless with the girls. There’s not many things better in this world than watching Jasmine sing praise songs. It’s fun to take her and the other girls to the local churches when they have concerts. As beautiful as it is to hear the littles sing “Rise and Shine” and “Jesus Loves Me”, it is just as amazing to watch the big girl’s sing out praises to their Lord.
I know most of Jeremy Camp’s songs, but I wasn’t sure about Kutless. I knew a couple of their songs, but then I came across the song “Even If”. This song was exactly what my heart needed to hear. It has been playing on repeat in my head for weeks now. Every time I have started to worry I would hear the words…
“Even if the healing doesn’t come and life falls apart and dreams are still undone. You are God. You are good. Forever faithful.”
Most days I can just go on and pretend everything is normal but then one of the kids comes to me and says, “Mama, what if Eli doesn’t make it?” Even little Maisey seems to get it this time. All this weekend she has made Eli sit on her lap, stroking his hair, and reading him a book. She has been melancholy and even snuggled in next to him to sleep.
I do pretty well until I let my mind go to the “what ifs”. I see him and Evie playing and I think what if he doesn’t come home? What would she do? They are so close. Her little heart would be broken. She’s too young to really understand. They truly are like a set of twins. To watch him and Evie together is….. I don’t even have the words to describe it properly. They love each other so much. She says, “I wuv you Ewi” and he responds with “I wuv you baby.” They hold doors for each other and laugh together. They play and fight and hold each other tight. They make sure they each have a popsicle or a drink. They have a beautiful bond that has been so amazing to watch.
My heart hurts to think that their bond might be broken.
I wonder about the pain it would cause my other children.
I wonder if I am strong enough to survive it.
The words of the world start to seep in and I doubt.
But then these words come across loud and clear….
”Even if the healing doesn’t come and life falls apart and dreams are still undone. You are God. You are good. Forever faithful one.”
We have a peace that comes from God. There is no other way to explain it. A peace that comes from the complete faith that God led us to Eli. Many of you know his story but for those who don’t, I will tell his story again.
I knew from the instant that I saw Eli’s picture that he was supposed to be our son. We never talked about it much with the rest of the family because we weren’t sure what was going to happen, but Ben brought up his name throughout the day and continued to pray for him and talk about Eli like he was already his brother. It’s the same with Max this time. Children seem to just know. I wonder if they are more able to hear the Holy Spirit because they don’t let the words of the world crowd Him out.
We went through so much with Eli as we waited for the orphanage to get his paperwork ready. We had seen his picture in a New Hope newsletter. They said he needed a family. When we inquired about him, we found out he was not paper ready. I was so sure he was our son that I was ready to wait no matter how long it took. Dan agreed and we asked them to get Eli paper ready.
As we proceeded with our homestudy, we talked with our social worker about how we felt the Lord was leading us to ask to put four children down in our homestudy. China only allows two at a time so this was a strange request but she agreed, with all the outside support we had, that we could handle four.
We set out to adopt Eli and Lainey, but Eli’s paperwork was taking forever. In the meantime, our agency presented us with Evie. I wouldn’t even look at her chart because I didn’t want to see the face I would have to say no to, but Dan was overcome and knew that she was supposed to be our daughter. He said there was a million reasons to say no but all he could say is “why not?”. God gave Dan such a peace about her.
I trusted Dan and how he was feeling, but couldn’t for the life of me see how it was going to work. We were back to the “Lord, if this is what you want we will proceed, but I don’t see how it’s going to work.” We sent in LOI for Lainey and for Evie and we waited some more for Eli’s paperwork.
In the meantime we saw Jasmine’s picture and knew she was to be our daughter. It was such an overwhelming, bring you to your knees response when we saw her picture. We asked our agency if we could ask to bring home three. I still remember Judy calling and letting me know that we were approved for three. What a moment that was. Tears streamed down my face and my heart was filled with joy. The children jumped up and down. It was a celebration at our house that day!
We had every intention of going for the three girls and then returning later for Eli. We had been waiting for over six months at this point for Eli’s papers.
Every step of Eli’s journey was faith-filled and made with the utmost trust that God was leading. We had stepped out in faith and the most amazing things had occurred. We were set to travel the first part of May and then the unimaginable happened, it was March and Eli’s paperwork became ready. Both Dan and I felt like we were to petition China to be allowed to adopt four at once. We figured if they said, “No.” we would just return later for him. What’s it hurt to ask, right?
Our agency said the odds were very slim, but they would send our letter on. We had told them that we firmly believed if God meant for it to be He would open the doors and He did! So while others questioned why we would adopt four at once, we were saying “how could we not?”. When God was calling us and throwing the doors open to allow it to happen, what else is there to do but proceed in faith?
Even though there was an overwhelming joy that they said yes to four at the same time I had a moment of panic. We had just been told that we needed to take a fourth adult with us. How in the world were we going to save that much money in that amount of time? We had maxed credit cards for the travel. How was this even possible?
It’s amazing as many times as God has provided and been faithful that my first thought is often “how are we ever going to do this”. I know the reality is that we never, ever do. HE does!
I can still remember sitting in the car with Cassie, my mom and Linda. I had gotten the mail and we were just sitting there talking. I opened an envelope containing a check for Dan from the children’s hospital were he sometimes gets paid a stipend to speak. But instead what did I find? A check for an amount large enough to cover Eli’s fees, his orphanage child rearing fee, and Cassie’s travel. Years prior the University was part of a class action lawsuit about too much FICA being held out during Dan’s medical residency for the years 1995-1998.
The amount wasn’t large, but the interest they had to pay was. We had no clue this suit was finished. We were in no way expecting this money. In fact, we figured we’d never see any of it, but God provided. Every single step of the way we trusted and God was faithful. God has provided for us in amazing ways with Eli’s adoption. This whole journey with him has been one of waiting, trusting, being faithful and watching God do amazing things.
I have given up trying to guess where God is leading. When I feel that nudge, I pray and I follow. The blessings God has allowed us to have for being faithful are overwhelming. I wish I could let you feel for a moment what my heart feels.
Eli’s whole story is a walk of faith. Every step on his journey has been faith-filled. God has given us an overwhelming peace about his life. That being said I am under no illusions that that means Eli will live a long life. He may or he may not. The number of his days do not matter as much as the fact that his little life has purpose. If he lives 2 years or 50 years, It was worth it! Eli has been a joy to love. He is an unbelievably sweet soul. He makes friends where ever he goes. His little voice is adorable. Right now he is sitting beside me singing “A Thankful Heart is a Happy Heart” from Veggietales. Every single tear, heartache, and worry has been worth it. My heart has been forever changed by one little boy.
So…. “Even if the healing doesn’t come and life falls apart and dreams are still undone. You are God. You are good. Forever faithful one”
God is good. All the time!!!!!
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Happy Birthday Dan!
Today I am reposting this blog post for my husband’s birthday. Not much has happened this year except for two heart surgeries, a spinal fusion with extended hospital stay for a wound infection, two heart caths, two new additions (Max and Elyse) and a wedding. We know how to keep it low key around this place. Here is the new family picture excluding Lainey who refused to be photographed.
Love you to the moon and back sweetie. Happy, happy birthday!
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Psalm 127:3-4
Happy birthday to my best friend.
The man who has healed the wounds of my youth
taught me to trust God and His plan
lifted me up
stood by me when times were hard
made me laugh….every single day
encouraged me
supported me
loved me….since forever it seems
held my hand on this incredible journey
and most of all shared the amazing, impossible, unbelievable dreams that God has given us.
In a world where men hit middle age, buy sports cars, and trade their wives for a younger version,
Dan drives a 20 year old bus and loves the same women he has loved since he was 15.
He is blessed by many who call him dad!
“The Children whom God has graciously given your servant.” – Genesis 33:5
Praying that the next year holds
much joy
many blessings
peace and calm
healed hearts in our two little ones
and more hugs and kisses
than you can even bear
from those many children
who are lucky enough to call you dad!
Happy birthday Sweetheart!
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A good reminder…
“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
― Mother Teresa -
Flying
Its 7am, March 11th, mom and dad are leaving their hotel to get on the plane to fly to Zhengzhou, where they will get the kids on the 12th! They should land about 10pm our time.
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Note From My Momma
From Mom, to me, to you 🙂
“I think the scariest thing here is the driving. So many people & cars everywhere. There are 20 million people in the city with another 10 million coming in to work. We went to a silk factory. Watching how they do it was amazing. We also went through a Jade factory. Dan bought me a “happiness ball”. It’s very pretty. It means family that can’t be torn apart. I love hearing everyone’s stories. The way God works in people’s lives is amazing. They way He brings people together – awe inspiring. Believe it or not we aren’t the biggest family here. One gentlemen is picking up number 7 while his wife is at home with number 8 still waiting to be born. We leave in the morning [Remember, they are 10 hours ahead of us: it’s 530 on Sunday morning there:)] to get ready to pick up our little ones. I realized yesterday that since they are the same size everyone will assume they are twins. Dan says it’s a gift. I’m not so sure. Something’s are still really painful even after all these years. I will try hard to not cry if someone comments on that & find joy in second chances.”
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Excitment At Home…
Sorry that I haven’t really updated yet. Mom and Dad’s hotel lost their wifi, so they haven’t been able to email yet. So I thought I would entertain you with what we’ve been up to….
Grace was cleaning her room today, when she comes and tells me, “I found something…. um….interesting…”. If you know Gracie, you know that this is never a good thing. I go down to her room to find, among her stuffed animals, what I believe to be a dead rodent of some sort. Being the mature, responsible adult that I am, I screamed, ran out of the room, grabbed a bucket, threw it over the rodent and all surrounding toys, and there it will stay until Zach is home to take care of it. Looks like I take after my grandma after all 😉
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They’re going to China!
Hello! This Cassie, and if I can figure out how to work this darn thing, I will be updating you on my momma and daddy’s ‘joyful chaos’ trip.
For those of you who don’t know, I’m Cassie. (Oh yeah, I already told you that :)) I’m holding down the fort until the reinforcement (aka Zach) gets home on Saturday afternoon. Mom and Dad are sitting in O’Hare as we speak. They flew from DSM to O’Hare, then fly up and over to Beijing. It goes something like this:
They will be 13 hours ahead of us when they land, so it will be about 2 AM our time, but around 4 pm the next day their time. It’s very confusing. Thank God for phones with world clocks 🙂 This will be a long flight for them; both on the way there, because they are anxious, and on the way back, because a 14 hour flight with two non-English speaking little ones will be quite interesting. They could definitely use some prayers. Thanks guys!
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