Archive for December, 2016
Merry Christmas everyone!
We’ve had an exciting year in the Ellsbury household.
We receive the miracle of a healed heart for Benjamin. We were told that there was no hope and now his future is full of hope! Ben turned eight and is enthralled with soldiers and police officers. He has learned how to read and loves math and school. To see our boy filled with energy and no longer blue is a beautiful gift.
Little Evie has had a wonderful year. She has grown since her last surgery and continues to do well with her health. She is a ray of sunshine from the time she wakes up until her little head hits her pillow. She is everything that is good with the world.
She was adopted 3 and 1/2 years ago with Elijah. They continue to be the best of friends. These two should have their own reality show. They are a hoot together! I mean seriously who could resist these sweet, little faces?
I continue to stand in amazement of Eli. Every day I am reminded of the miracle of modern medicine. The amazing fact that he had main branch pulmonary arteries formed out of four collaterals and graft material in a 14 hour surgery just blows my mind. I stand in awe of our awesome God and the gifts He gives. It’s hard to take anything for granted when your life is filled with such miracles.
Big miracles come in all shapes and sizes. Lainey has come so far from that sad little girl who never looked you in the eye. She yells “mama and daddy”. She hugs with such sweetness. She gives love pats all day long. She can not say many words but her love language is loud and clear. She holds hands. She hugs. She loves and all the kids love her. And the very best news is that now that her seizures are better under control she is actually sleeping for 4-5 hours at a stretch. This has been very welcome to mama. She will often sleep for four hours and go back to sleep for another four. I can certainly live with that.
Maisey has become quite the little mother. She is quiet and shy but since she has gotten her BAHA (bone conducting hearing aid) she has become more vocal. She figured out that she is funny. She hears so much better and her speech has come so far. She takes care of everyone. She loves BIG! She loves art and drawing and writing. She has decided she wishes to be a ninja librarian when she grows up. It’s a job that would suit her well.
One of the best gifts during this past year is Maisey and Evie’s friendship. Evie’s personality is BIG and Maisey is quiet so they have always gotten along but Maisey would choose to play by herself a lot. That has changed this year as they both realize how much fun having a sister is. It does my heart good to see them play.
Max also received a BAHA this year. It has been amazing to see him actually hear and start to understand what conversation is. His world opened up when he realized he could actually ask for something. He continues to learn more signs – last count was 300+. We still have a long ways to go but he has certainly made great leaps this past year. Probably his biggest step forward was understanding affection. He asks for hugs and kisses now. He sits on people’s laps. It’s one of the hardest things on this mama’s heart to realize your children don’t know what hugs and kisses mean. It’s a cultural thing as well as an institutional issue but when they finally get it….well, there’s not a whole lot that is better in the world.
Because of facial issues it’s still hard for him to smile big but his giggle is contagious. He can barely contain his laughter and it makes the rest of us laugh too. The boys play pretty well together. They have their arguments as all siblings do but they really do get along amazingly well. Their favorite thing to do is to dress up in costumes and play super heroes. They make the cutest super heroes don’t you think?
Our seventh little is William, we all refer to him as Liam. Liam had a harder transition than any of the other littles. He enjoyed his treatment in China. He had a case of Little Emperor’s syndrome. Don’t believe it’s a real thing? Just google it. Anyway, it was hard for him to share at first. He wanted to always be first and when he didn’t get his way he would cry for hours. He has come so far and has learned what family truly means. I am proud of the progress he has made in 9 short months. His whole world was turned upside down and he had to learn how things work here. We still have moments, but they are few and far between now. Sometimes adoption brings unknowns that you really couldn’t even foresee being a problem. I’m glad he feels loved and cared for and that he trusts us.
He is sweet and caring and a natural born leader. He is charming and very smart. He loves math and eagerly learns new things. He loves to help. We instituted a Leader Day for each little and he eagerly waits for his turn. Wednesdays are Liam’s favorite days now.
There is nothing little about our Littles. The love BIG! They love life! Our house is noisy and chaotic and filled with laughter. There is never a dull moment with them around. They bring so much to our lives. Dan and I constantly say, “We could have missed this!” and I’m here to tell you that we would have missed a lot. Our lives would have been so much duller, quieter maybe, but so much less. We have been blessed beyond measure to be able to call these children sons and daughters.
Not a day goes by that I don’t stop in my tracks and think about the miracles that have happened to them with both emotional and physical healing. I don’t deserve the blessings they bring but I am forever grateful that we get to be a part of their lives.
Today we had to head to the doctor’s office for some routine things. The kids asked if they got ready early if I would take them to Burger King. Since today was the first day of our winter break, I decided that would be fun. They worked together and we left early enough to get food.
I ordered the food and the cashier asked me questions about our food and our bus. We talked about a little of everything while we waited for the 7 large fries and many nuggets. We talked about everything from adoption to sauce packets. We joked about how I don’t ask for sauce packets for the nuggets because the kids share the nuggets and there are never enough packets to go around. Today there were extra sauce packets and a few more nuggets at the bottom of our sack.
Little kindnesses from a stranger that brightened our day.
The middles needed some vaccines so I checked them all in at the office. JJ’s titers came back low and she needed a booster to be able to be put on the active transplant list. Everyone has to be up-to-date before we start the transplant. The middles all told me they could handle it so I stayed in the bus with the littles. The staff at our physicians office is so kind. One of the office staff even offered to sit on the bus with the littles so I could be with the middles. I told her it was fine, and thanked her for the offer. They told me to let them know any time I needed help. They even told me I could call them when I pull in the drive and they will get the door for the girls in the wheelchairs.
More kindnesses that make life just a little bit easier for a mom of many.
We decided it was so beautiful out that we should grab a few things at Target. As I started to unload the bus, a car came up beside us. We were parked quite a ways out in the parking lot so I thought it was a little strange for someone to park next to us. Then I noticed that the woman got out of the car and was coming over to talk to me. I hate to admit that my first thought was “Now what?” I’ve had people yell at me for taking up four spots with our bus. It’s one of the reasons we park way out in the lot. We need room to put down the lift and we don’t fit in a handicap spot so there aren’t any options besides taking up four parking spots.
Anyway, this women started her conversation with “You don’t know me, but I work with your husband.” Now that is one I have heard before so I started to relax. This women went on to say that she had recently had a kidney transplant and she thought JJ might want to meet her. I thanked her for stopping and told her it would take a while to get out of the bus, but that I was sure that JJ would love it. JJ is pretty quiet but JJ was touched by this women who took the time to stop and talk to her. JJ went on and on about how good this women looked after her transplant, which was only 5 weeks ago.
This women didn’t need to take the time to stop, but she did and by doing so her kindness helped ease a little girl’s worried heart.
When we were shopping at Target, a lady went by and said something we hear quite often, “Boy do you have your hands full.” Often times comments are made at the kids and it makes them feel bad. They don’t always understand why people say what they do. I guess this is a comment we have heard a few too many times because as the woman was walking away, Elyse yelled, “Our hearts are pretty full too.” The lady stopped in her tracks and came back to apologize. She said that she wasn’t criticizing me. She said she was just commenting on our large family. She was very friendly so we talked a bit, I smiled and thanked her, and off she went.
We ran into her again in the back of the store. She commented on how polite the kids were every time they answered me with “Yes mama!” I told her that they were wonderful kids most of the time. I told her I was blessed to be their mama. She asked, Are they all on the good list?” and I said, “Of course!” We wished her a Merry Christmas and off she went again.
A little while later she found me back in the other corner of the store. She handed me a gift card, told me what a great job I was doing, and wished me a Merry Christmas. I was too stunned to say much of anything besides “thank you”. She took me completely by surprise.
She didn’t need to buy a card or come find me again, but she did, and in doing so she showed our children that not everyone is negative towards big families. They were so touched by her generosity. This will stay with them a very long time. I wish I had been quick enough to get her name so the kids could have sent her a thank you. Some where there is a stranger that brightened my day. I cried all the way home. It touched my heart that much. I hope someone who reads this blog, hears this story and knows who this woman is and will send her our heartfelt thanks.
Part of me feels guilty because I am sure there are families that need it so much more, but the other part of me is thankful that she took the time to talk to the kids and to make them feel special. She went out of her way to show them she cared. We get lots of people who stare and count. There’s always a whole lot of counting going on when we pass by with our line of kids and carts, but we don’t often get a “hello” or a simple kind word. I’m sure most people don’t know what to say. I get that. I do that too.
Today was filled with the spirit of Christmas and I can’t thank those people enough. It was a really wonderful day for the kids. Our day was filled with little kindnesses and words of encouragement. We will do our part to pay it forward. This is my reminder to all of you that your kind words and acts of kindness really do make a difference.
I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year. – Charles Dickens
A week or so ago I stood in line at Target waiting with a cart full of items. The girl behind me had one item. I tried numerous times to get her to go ahead of me. She refused, said she wasn’t in a hurry, and stayed in line behind me. Other lanes opened up and still she stood there.
She listened as the cashier and I talked about why I had so much stuff in my cart. The elderly cashier was a little chatty, very kind, and not in a huge hurry. She kept asking questions as she worked. I told her that we had 16 kids, 13 still at home. She told me she was one of 12. She said she loved big families. She asked if I had given birth to all our kids. I told her we had adopted 11. We continued to talk about adoption and how blessed I felt.
As I was getting ready to leave the girl behind me spoke. She told me that she too came from a family of 12. She told me that her mom adopted her out of the foster system. She asked me if I ever resented having to buy so much stuff for the kids. I told her that I have never resented having to buy cartloads of stuff and was very blessed to be able to do so. She continued to say that her mom always seemed so happy and she always wondered if her mom was happy when the kids weren’t around to watch. She was thrilled to see another adoptive mama be happy to buy for her children.
Today I told Cassie that I needed some items at Target. Cassie said, “Let’s take everyone with us.” I thought, It’s a Saturday. It’s only a couple weeks before Christmas. “Sure! Why not? That sounds like a great idea!?!?!” hahaha We shopped with our row of kids – 1 double cart holding 4 kiddos, 3 wheelchairs, and Reece and Cassie walking with the others. We ran into a couple of people we knew. We joked with others about being a parade. We picked up what we needed to finish decorating the front of our house and headed to the front of the store to check out.
Reece noticed an open lane and we headed for it. We just happened to get the same elderly lady that checked me out a week or so before. She told me how sweet the kids were and how glad she was that she got to meet them. Once again there was a lady behind us who commented on what we had in our cart. She looked at all our kids and said, “Oh my goodness, are they all yours?” I laughed and said, “Yes!” I know most people aren’t being rude. They are just surprised. The cashier however said, “And I think it’s a good thing!” I’ve never been defended by a cashier before. It was kind of cute. We checked out and all the kids wished her a Merry Christmas.
We’ve been trying hard to get the house decorated for JJ and Liam. It’s always fun to light up the house big for the kiddos who have never had a Christmas before. The lighted garland I bought didn’t fit right so I headed back to Target by myself. I just happened to end up in the same cashier’s lane. I laughed and commented on her being on lane 12 before and now she was on lane 4. She told me they move them around after breaks and she laughed about how I truly am always at Target.
This little elderly lady reminds me of my mama. She was kind and talkative and sweet. She told me again how happy she was to see the kids. She asked about the talkative one and I told her the short version of Evie’s story. I told her how blessed we were to have these children in our lives and how sad it is that mothers have to give their children away to try to get them help. She told me she could tell that we felt blessed to have these kids in our lives and then she said she was proud of me.
It should have been a completely uncomfortable comment but it wasn’t. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I can’t explain it but it was like hearing it from my mom. All of a sudden I could see my mama telling me that she was proud of me. It was a very strange.
You see a little over 3 years ago my mom was so excited to see us heading to China again. She was at our house caring for our children, while we were in China, when she perforated an ulcer and had a major heart attack. She spent months in the hospital. She would recover a little bit and visit our house once to see those kids.
She ended up passing away three years ago on Christmas Eve. Mom never got to really meet her last 8 grandchildren. She never again told me she was proud of me. I liked to hear those words from my mom. So tonight standing in a line at Target, I got a small gift from a little elderly lady who probably has no idea why she touched me so.
P.S. My mom gave me many gifts over the years, but the biggest gift she gave me was a listening ear. She was always there to talk and encourage. She loved her grandkids and she was one of my biggest adoption supporters. I miss her, but the very last gift my mama gave me was understanding about dialysis and kidney issues. Because of this gift, we were brave enough to proceed with this little gift.
Life doesn’t always turn out the way we hoped but there are blessings and joy to be found amongst the tears.
- Chinese Children Adoption International
- Hats for Gracie
- Love Without Boundaries
- New Hope Foundation China
- Show Hope
- China 2013
- China 2014
- China 2016
- Congenital Heart Defect
- Evangeline Faith
- Family Life
- Food for Thought Friday
- Jasmine (Shuang Shuang)
- Jasmine's Dream
- Lainey Rae
- Love Without Boundaries
- Making a difference
- Muscular Dystrophy
- Orphan Care
- Thoughts to ponder