Archive for the ‘Jasmine’s Blog’ Category

  • What If… (Jasmine’s Blog)

    Date: 2017.07.15 | Category: Adoption, Jasmine (Shuang Shuang), Jasmine's Blog

    Now that I am 18, I have been thinking a lot about “what ifs”.

    What if I had stayed in China?

    What if my parents hadn’t come to adopt me?

    What if my grandmother hadn’t left me at the orphanage?

    What if I could walk?

    What if I never learned about God?

    What if I never learned to not be selfish?

    What if I didn’t have a family?

    Recently China changed the rules about adoption.  It got me to thinking about “what if” my parents hadn’t adopted when they did.  What if they waited to adopt for a few more years? They wouldn’t have been able to adopt two at a time or adopt more after Maisey and Ben.  Right now with the new rules you can only adopt one more if you have 5 little kids in your house.  I am happy mama and daddy adopted when they did and that China said “Yes!”.   I am really happy that God worked the miracles that He did so that mama and daddy could adopt but I am sad about all the kids that had a family who wants them but they can’t proceed with the adoption.  It makes my heart hurt for the kids who wait.

    If I had stayed in China, I would have gone to an old person home.  The nannies said that I will sit on the floor and the old people might sometimes give me food.  I used to think that maybe they would let me beg for money on the street.  The nannies said no one would want to take care of me so the nannies would help me die if I wanted to.  They would sit my pee out and tell me if I just drink it, I will die.  Sometimes I thought about drinking it to just be done, but I never did.

    So if I stayed in China, the best I could hope for was to beg on the street or to die.   In America, I can get a job.  I have a power wheelchair.  I can fall in love.  I can be a motivational speaker.  Maybe even someday I will write a book.

    What if my grandma hadn’t left me at the orphanage?  Only my grandma and my uncle liked me.  Grandma would leave me outside or on the bed when she went to work.   I would spend all day by myself because I couldn’t move very much.  When I was 8, I got to go to school for just a couple months and I loved it but then one day Grandma showed up and took me to the orphanage.

    If others in the house had liked me, maybe I could have stayed.  I can’t walk so people in China made fun of me.  They would say, “If you can’t walk, you can’t get married.”  Grandma would pray to Buddha for me to walk.  She gave me duck soup every day for a month because it would make me walk.  They tried all sorts of herbs and medicines to help me walk, but nothing worked.  If I stayed at my grandma’s, I would have had to stay in the house all the time.  I would have had to stay in the bed and people would have been even more angry with me.  I was bad because I was a girl and could not do dishes or cook so I was worthless.

    What if I could walk?  If I could walk, it would have changed everything.  I could have stayed in China.  I could have got married.  I could have worked.  If I could walk, I would have never known about orphans and kids needing help all around the world.  I would have just  worried about me.  I wouldn’t have known any better but I would have been a miserable person because loving others and helping them makes you a happier person.

    “My wheelchair was the key to seeing all this happen—especially since God’s power always shows up best in weakness. So here I sit … glad that I have not been healed on the outside, but glad that I have been healed on the inside. Healed from my own self-centered wants and wishes.” – Joni Eareckson Tada

    When I think about it now, I never wished (prayed) that I could walk.  I was always thankful for my good days and wanted to be loved.

    What if I never learned about God?  In China I felt like there was something bigger than me. I felt like God was telling me to never give up, even though I didn’t know it was God.  I could feel in my heart that there was something else out there if I just didn’t give up.  I watched t.v. and learned about “working hard” for Buddha but it didn’t feel right.  People always talk about having more power.  People always lie and steal your money.  All the t.v. shows talked about how if you don’t have anything you should fight for it.  If you don’t have it, they shouldn’t have it either.

    With God I learned to care about others.  I learned this life isn’t all about me.   I learned that if I just care about myself I will never really be happy.   When I help other people it feels like I do the right thing and my heart feels all “warm”.  I learned that my life has a purpose.   God has a plan for me.  Yesterday, I read a post that says God can use our pain to fulfill our purpose.   I like that.  It was about Joni Eareckson Tada.  If you don’t know her story, you should read it.

    What if I never learned to not be selfish?  I can be pretty selfish.  I only worry about myself.  I think I have it worse than anyone else.  I can spend a lot of my time wishing for other stuff.  All of a sudden I am an adult and I don’t want to have everything just be about me any more.  When I asked others to raise money for shoes and to pray and help Grace, it changed my heart.   I read all the stories on Love Without Boundaries and I can’t believe what kids have to live like.  They need eye surgery and heart surgery and food and school.  Kids have to dig through the dump.  My life is good and I have a lucky life.  Now I want to help others.

    What if I didn’t have my family?  I know I wouldn’t have known what I was missing but I would be sad.  In China, I learned to be mean to other people.  No one really looks out for anyone else.  My family fought with each other and they fought with the neighbors.  They always were fighting.  People drank a lot and hit each other.   In the orphanage, one of the nannies had a boyfriend and she wanted a new boyfriend so he hit the nanny as hard as he could.  He beat her up.  I know it’s not like that for everyone but I saw a lot of fighting.

    In our family, mama and daddy says sometimes you can fight but we stick together and we say we are sorry and we love each other.  Family is about being kind and generous and helping others.  Mama and daddy say family is forever.  This is what mama and daddy say…

    In China, I didn’t have hope but in America there is much hope.  I hope that I can help others.  I hope that I can encourage others.  I hope that I can have a job.  I hope that since I have figured out how to heal my heart that I can help others heal their hearts too.

    Please consider being the “Hope” for a child who needs you.

     

     

  • Jasmine’s Dream – Forgive Yourself

    Date: 2017.06.23 | Category: Jasmine's Blog

    Everybody in life makes mistakes sometimes really big ones, but God always forgives us.

    If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins…  1 John 1:9

    But sometimes I think I say many bad things that I can’t be forgiven and I can’t forgive myself.  One time I talk to mama about it and mama says I should forgive myself because if you don’t forgive yourself it is like you are saying God is lying and He won’t forgive us.  But God is perfect and doesn’t make any mistakes and His word is true.  If God can forgive me, then I should trust Him and be able to forgive myself.

    Some people do really, really bad stuff.  Some people kill others and do some really bad stuff and they think they can’t be forgiven.  They think God will never forgive them.  They think what they did was too bad and they mess up their lives.

    But some people do some really, really bad stuff and then they believe God will forgive them and they change their lives and do some really big things for God.  People like Paul in the Bible.  Paul killed Christians and then he saved Christians.  He changed his whole life when he trusted God and forgave himself.

    God tells us to always forgive others.  Mama says I should forgive the nannys and my mama and my grandma.   Mama says it doesn’t do any good to be mad at them because they don’t know I am mad.  It only makes me sad and hurts my family here.  It doesn’t mean that it is okay.  It means that I leave it to God to judge them.

    My family always forgives me when I make a mistake or I get mad.  I sometimes hurt my mama’s feelings because I feel bad about myself.  Mama says that people who are hurting inside hurt other people.  I didn’t want mama to love me because sometimes I am afraid she will leave me too.  I love mama.  I don’t want to have mama leave me too.

    Sometimes I think my only choice is to make everyone hate me so that I can leave and live alone.  I think everybody’s lives will be easier if they don’t have to take care of me.  But my choice was wrong mama says that my family would be sad if I wasn’t here and they want to take care of me because they love me.

    Right now I work hard to forgive myself.  I want to let my family know that I love them.  I want to live here.  I want to do BIG things for God.  I want to make good choices.  Mama always says, “Was that a good choice?”  Now I ask myself that too, cause rule #1 in our house is to be kind.

    If you forgive yourself and other people, you will make your life easier because you won’t be an angry person.  If you don’t forgive, you become an angry person because you always think everything is about you and what people did to you, but if you forgive people, you can be happy and figure out what God wants you to do with your life.

  • Jasmine’s Blog – Perspective

    Date: 2017.06.23 | Category: Jasmine's Blog

    Perspective – a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.

    My friend, Amy Eldridge, Love Without Boundaries, just visited Cambodia and Uganda.  Her stories made me think about what other kids go through in other countries. We should be thankful for what we have.  There are kids with no shoes who have to walk hours to get water.  They want to go to school but they can’t.  They get one meal a day.  They are hungry and don’t have much water.

    In Cambodia, these kids get up as early as 2 a.m. to pick through the garbage in the dump for cans and food to eat.  There are kids with no parents.  There are mean people who take little girls and do bad things with them.  My heart is sad.  There is much evil in the world.

    I hope that we can do something for these kids.  I want to give as much as I can to build schools and send food.  Amy wrote about it on LWB’s blog,

    Cambodia: Part Four

    I have read these blogs with my mom and I cried. These kids should not have to live like this. I am so excited about trying to help them.

    It gave me a new perspective on the orphanage. Even though the orphanage was bad I still had food and a bed to sleep in. I had a blanket to keep me warm and some water to drink. I sat in a wheelchair and I was mostly safe. I didn’t have to work all day. It can always be worse. I HATE that it’s worse and can’t believe that some kids have to do this.

    I looked at all these pictures of the dump and it makes me so sad. I have new nephew and when I held him it was so wonderful. He is so cute and I think about how could you look at this baby and put him in a dump. My grandma told me that she found me in the dump. Because I was “garbage” is why nobody liked me. Holding my nephew gave me the new perspective that I wasn’t garbage because I was in a dump. He couldn’t do anything to be put in a dump and I couldn’t either. No kids should ever be in a dump.

    Some people do anything to help their child and still they don’t have enough. They sell everything they have and still it’s not enough. There are kids that need sponsors on Amy’s page. If you can help, please help them.

    I think about how I want a $20 game but what could they do with that $20? I am having a hard time thinking about buying a game when others don’t have shoes or food. I have a hard time when I am just thinking about myself and being selfish. What could I give up so they could have more? I want to use my money the right way.

    I have a new perspective on lots of things.

     

  • Jasmine’s Blog – Elyse’s Words

    Date: 2017.06.23 | Category: Elyse, Jasmine's Blog

    (Elyse recently asked me to share this on Facebook)

    We have been studying the human body. We were talking about fingerprints and how every single one is different. It was a wonderful talk about how each of us is unique and different. Later that evening Elyse asked me this question.

    Elyse – Mom, how come your fingerprints don’t scar? I mean I have scars all over my body but I don’t have them on my finger. It was cool what we learned about in school today. You lose your skin but you still have the same fingerprints.
    Me – Do you mean your finger tips? Why would you have scars on your fingers sweetie? Did you burn them? Did something happen?
    Elyse – No, when I was really bad. I mean really bad. The nanny would pick up the skin on the end and cut them with a scissors but I don’t have any scars.
    Me – (Trying to stay unemotional because she stated this fact with no emotion whatsoever. It was like she was discussing someone styling her hair.) Why would she do that?
    Elyse – It was only when I was really bad. Like when I asked her why she was being mean to someone. I think she just wanted people to be afraid of her so we wouldn’t tell on her and she wouldn’t get in trouble. She finally got fired though.
    Me – They finally fired her? I’m happy to hear that. You know that no one should touch you like that or hurt you like that. You know you don’t deserve that right? No one deserves that.
    Elyse – Yes, I know that now. No one should hurt me. It’s just the way it is mom. Some people didn’t care and left us alone. Some people were just mean. No one really cared about me because my legs didn’t work or at least that’s how I felt. It’s just the way it is.
    Mom – I’m sure people cared. It’s just different. It’s a different culture and your love language is hugs. No one really hugs there so you had a hard time.
    Elyse – Mom, do you think people understand that it’s not a good place to be a kid? Do you think they understand how much these kids want mommies and daddies? Why don’t more kids get adopted? Do you think it’s just because people don’t know that they need familes? Why can’t we adopt mom? It’s not fair! We should adopt 3 more. Could we tell them we will stop at 3 more? Please mom.

    These are the things that are hardest for me. Things that are part of their past that just become an every day occurrence. It doesn’t stand out as something that was horrible. It just is what it is. These are the hard things. It’s not hard to help Elyse cath, or help her in and out of her wheelchair. It’s not hard to reach the things she can’t reach or help her get into the tub. What is hard is trying to heal the pain of past hurts. The trauma is so much bigger than the physical issues. Elyse is a blessing. She is joyful, sweet, caring, and so very bright. How many Elyse’s are just waiting for a family of their own?

    I know it’s hard. I know it’s out of your comfort zone. I know it’s ridiculously expensive. I know it’s scary beyond anything you could even imagine BUT the longer they wait, the harder it is.

    Last year internationally adoptions were at their lowest. 5,647 children got families. It is estimated that there are millions of orphans waiting worldwide. There is a foster care crisis in this country right now. There are 400,000 kids in foster care. 100,000 wait to be adopted. 20,000 will age out without ever receiving a family. (Adoptuskids.org) This isn’t ok. Don’t kid yourself into thinking this is ok and someone else will do it.

    Do something! Anything! Just don’t close your eyes and pretend it isn’t happening. Elyse, who was adopted at the age of 9, has asked me to share this story so that people understand that kids are waiting. She says they want families so much! She wants you to understand that bad things happen, but the very worst thing that happens is feeling like you just don’t matter.

  • Do Something from Jasmine’s Dream

    Date: 2017.06.23 | Category: Jasmine's Blog

    Do you ever feel like you can’t do anything?  Like the problem is so big you couldn’t possibly make a difference.

    My mommy and daddy work with Love Without Boundaries.  We pray and talk about the kids they are trying to help.  We talk about their lives and what they are going through. Sometimes it makes me cry.  The kids don’t have shoes.  The kids are very sick.  They kids walk for hours to get water.  They sometimes only eat one meal.  They want to go to school so bad.  They want to learn how to read so they can make their lives better.

    I think about how I get to live a very beautiful life and then I look at what is happening there.  I want to be able to help but I can only do a little.  I don’t have a lot of money.  Sometimes it makes me really sad.  Mama says I have two choices:

    1.) I can be sad and mad about it and get nothing done.

    OR

    2.) I can use my voice to make others think about it and try and do something.

    I want to do something.

    My birthday is coming up and I think about all the stuff I have.  I have so much and they have so little.  Why?  I keep telling my mom I don’t want anything for my birthday.  I wish they could live a good life like us.  I don’t deserve this life so why do I get to live it?   I don’t like the evil world where babies die and kids starve.  I don’t like it at all.

    Mama always says once your eyes are open you can’t pretend it isn’t happening.  I wonder why others don’t do anything, but mama says they don’t know.

    Do you know that there’s a little girl who is 14 called Grace on Love Without Boundaries?  She is in so much pain and LWB has been able to get her a doctor to help.

    Grace 1

    Now you know.  I just want people to help her.  It’s just so sad.  She can only sit for 20 minutes.  No kids should have to be hurting.  Right now I just really want to help her get better.

    That would be the very best birthday present ever.  I pray about her and hope that this time surgery will work.  She’s already had four surgeries.  But now Love Without Boundaries has a really good doctor.  Maybe this time she will be able to be fixed so she can feel better.

    If you are sad about Grace too, please help her get surgery.  She really needs help.  Please pray about her and ask for God to let the doctor know what they need to do so she can get better.

    Thank you for praying for Grace.

  • Jasmine’s Blog – My purpose for Life

    Date: 2016.12.23 | Category: Jasmine's Blog

    Before I had my surgery, I wondered what I could do with my life.  I didn’t know if there was any way I could help people.  I can not move very much so I didn’t think I could do very much but mama and daddy say God has a purpose for me.  They keep telling me this even though I didn’t believe them.

    Mama and daddy gave me Joni Aereckson Tada’s book.    Joni’s story is like mine because she could not move and she wondered what purpose her life could have.   One day Joni says that she was living a life that was selfish and all about herself.  She realized that she could do something to fulfill her purpose for God.   Many, many people believe in God because they heard Joni’s story.

    After my surgery, I was mad that I couldn’t walk.  I thought the surgery would fix me.  I had hard time and was very mad for over a year.  Mama and daddy talk to me a lot about how my story is like Joni’s and I could make a big difference in the world even though I can not walk.   They said I can help people.  They said I can help kids get adopted.  They said I can let other people know what it is like to be an older child who was adopted.  I can tell people about life in the orphanage.  I can tell people about God.  Mama and daddy say that Joni is a very good role model to have.

    Sometimes I still have a hard time seeing how God can use my life.   But sometimes God lets me see the people I help.  Sometimes they write to me on my blog.  Sometimes I hear stories that people tell my mom.  And sometimes I get to see how my life affected someone else’s.

    Right now in China there is a little girl who just got adopted by a nurse who took care of me during my back surgery.  I am happy that God let this nurse take care of me and that she heard about adoption and China.   She is a really nice nurse.

    mia-and-her-mama

    Mia is a really cute little girl.  I am happy she gets to come home to this very good family.

    mia-phone

    Sometimes life is very sad and we hear about kids who die and can’t get anything to help them.  Sometimes I feel sad because there are so many kids that I can’t help.  But it’s really nice when there is a happy story that I get to share.  I had a little part to do with Mia getting adopted and that makes me very, very happy.

    My life does have a purpose and I can help people.   We all can help people.  We all can do something.  That’s a pretty cool thing to think about.

  • Jasmine’s Blog – Life is a Test

    Date: 2016.08.14 | Category: Jasmine's Blog

    God made us for a reason.

    I am reading Nick Vujicic’s book.  He used to think that he couldn’t do anything because he has no legs.  Before he even thought he wished he could die.  His daddy told him that he could not die because God made him for a reason.   Mommy and daddy tell me that too.

    One day Nick understood that God had made him for a reason.  He decided to be happy and to go out and talk and help lots of people.  He decided he could be an inspiration to other people without legs.  He could show people you could be happy.

    Everyone is the same too.  God has a reason for your life.  God made me this way for a reason too.   I sometimes think if I didn’t have SMA I would still be in China and I not know about God.  I would not be able to learn about God and I would not know about orphans.  Mama says that lots of people in China don’t even know that there are orphanages.  I could not help orphans if I did not know about them.

    If I didn’t almost age out, then I wouldn’t understand how that feels.

    I have SMA and every year my body can get weaker, but I can still have joy.  I know as long as I wake up in the morning God has a plan for me.

    This world is like a test.  God wants to know how we will do with our test.   Sometimes the test is really hard.  Because life can be very hard.  Any test that God gives you is for your good not for bad.  The world can be evil.  Man sometimes does wrong.  It’s not God’s fault it’s man’s fault.  God always loves us because He wants what is best for us.

    It wasn’t God that put me in an orphanage.  My grandma made that choice.  Mama says that I have to forgive her because I don’t know why she did it but God’s plan was not for me to be in an orphanage.  But God can make good out of the bad.

    Sometimes life can be really hard but we have a choice to be happy or be sad.  So it is like a test of how you will be.  Mama says every day is a new start so we can choose joy every day.

    Before when I realized that I was not going to walk I was sad too.  But mommy and daddy teach me how to be happy.  They tell me not to feel sorry for myself.  They say it is ok to have a bad day but not to be sad all day long.

    You can choose joy too.   You have a purpose. Ask God and He will show you.

    James 1:2-3  Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
  • Jasmine’s Blog – I Have a Dream

    Date: 2016.07.21 | Category: Jasmine's Blog

    Everybody has a dream.  If you want your dream to come true, you need to work hard.  You can’t just sit at home and hope your dream will come true.

    I have a dream.  My dream is that I hope one day there will be no more orphans.  I feel sad sometimes because I feel like that can’t happen cause there are so many orphans all over the world.   But mama says that you have to help one child at a time and not be sad that so many wait.

    Sometimes I get sad and don’t think God has a plan for my life. I feel like I can’t make a difference because I’m just a little girl in a wheelchair.  How can I help the orphan?  How can I help orphans gets adopted?   Then sometimes he sends people to show me that I do make a difference.  I got a comment from the Netherlands that said I helped a little boy and it made me feel so good.  I’m hoping it’s the little boy that I think it is.  He’s cute, silly, and really funny.  I’m so happy he has a family.

    People need to adopt older children too.  If God tells you to do it, you should follow God’s plan for you.  Kids understand what family means.  When you adopt an older child, you let them know their life has worth.  But some people don’t think about that.  Sometimes I see my mama’s Facebook and I see children wait who can’t walk or walk slow, these kids wait cause the parents don’t want them.  I want people to understand that even if a child has a problem, they need a family to love them.

    When I had second surgery, they doctor told me I could dream about anything – being a princess, driving a beautiful car, get married – but I said, “I just want to dream about there being no more orphans.”   After I got better mommy and daddy help me start Jasmine’s Dream.  My dream is to help 1,000 kids.

    Jasmine's Dream

    We send our allowance, raise money, and mommy and daddy help.  We buy adoption t-shirts, we support Reece’s Rainbow 5-5-5 for families, we sponsor children, we give to Love Without Boundaries unity fund, we purchase from adoption auctions, and donate whenever we can to help kids get adopted.   We even helped buy a yak for a family.   There are lots of ways to help.

    My three middle sisters help me. They believe in Jasmine’s Dream too.  Mama calls us the Fab Four.  The four of us think about the future and how we can help lots and lots of kids.  My sisters and I hope that one day no child gets left.  We hope that China, Africa, and the whole world can stop leaving children and take care of them.  That will be a happy, happy day.

    I believe my sisters and I can change the world.

  • Jasmine’s Blog – Pray for Victoria and Cassie

    Date: 2016.01.19 | Category: Jasmine's Blog

    VICTORIA

    One time mama show me Victoria’s picture.  I see her back that looks really bad.  No one has wanted to adopt her.  Her back looks worse than mine did.  I hope somebody can adopt her so that she can get her back fixed too.  It will make her feel so much better.

    I wonder if she can’t breathe good like I could not.  I wonder how much better she would feel.  She needs a family or she might die early too.

    victoria

    She just turned 13 in December.  She has one year left.  I don’t want her to turn 14 and go to a place filled with old people.  It is very hard in China.  You can not take your wheelchair anywhere.  No ramps like here in America.

    I hope someone sees her pretty face and wants to adopt her.  I hope nobody is too afraid.  I pray about her every day.  I pray that somebody will want to adopt her.

    When I was in China, I almost turn 14 and I think I will not have a family.  The nannies tell me when I turn 14 I will go some place with old people.  They tell me I won’t have a wheelchair.  They say those people will just put me on the floor and they won’t feed me.  Turning 14 when you are in a wheelchair is very scary.  The nannies tell me I would slowly die.  They tell me the people will hope I die so they don’t have to take care of me.

    I don’t want this to happen to Victoria.  Please somebody be her mama.

    CASSIE

    One night mama tell me about a family that wants to adopt a girl named Cassie, but her agency would not let the family adopt her.  Cassie will turn 14 in July.  I feel sorry for the family and the sister who wants Cassie to be her sister.

    It is really sad that an agency won’t let her have a family.  This agency must not care because they would rather she age out then give her a good family.   I hope somebody sees her and can add her to their paperwork.  Someone could still do it but she is running out of time.

    I ask mama to go back and get her but mama doesn’t think it will work.  I wish it would.  So I really want her to get adopted. I want someone to help her with her feet.  I don’t want any more kids to go to a bad place.  I pray and pray and pray.

    Cassie

    Wouldn’t Cassie make a great sister?   Are you her mama?

    The other night I have a dream.  I wake up so happy.  I dream Grace, Elyse, Jessica and me go to China.  We are so excited because there are no more orphans.  We went to visit the last orphans who were getting a family.  We told them it was good.  We told them they would have food and be very happy and be loved.  It is a good.

    My dream is for a family for every child.  I hope one day that my dream comes true.   Please pray for Cassie and Victoria so they can know how good it is to be loved by a family.

  • Jasmine’s Blog – Why Mommy and Daddy Want to Adopt Me?

    Date: 2015.12.23 | Category: Jasmine's Blog

    In China people say I can not get adopted because I can not walk. But one day they told me that a family did want to adopt me. Mommy and daddy thought I had spina bifida, but the paperwork was wrong. I have something else.

    When mommy and daddy see me on adoption day they thought I had muscular dystrophy. After mommy and daddy meet me I was really worried that they would take me back to the orphanage. The nannies told that when my mommy and daddy saw me they would take me back because I can not walk. In China you have 24 hours to decide if you want to keep the kids or not.

    But mommy and daddy didn’t take me back to leave me there. They took me back to the orphanage to hand out clothes that mommy and daddy had brought for the kids. The kids were so happy when I handed out the clothes. It was so much fun!

    I come America and I have back surgery for my scoliosis. After they did a muscle biopsy, the doctors know I have spinal muscular atrophy (SMA).

    When I was in China, I thought no one could love me because I couldn’t walk or do anything. But after that I tell mama and she said, “She doesn’t love me because I can do anything.” Mama said that she fell in love with me the first time she saw my face. Daddy said the same thing.

    Before they saw my face, mommy and daddy had said they would not adopt older kids. They said they wouldn’t adopt anyone over 4 because it wouldn’t work in the family. But mommy and daddy saw my face and fell in love and thought God was saying “that is your daughter”.

    Because mommy and daddy love me they adopt me, not because I can walk. They adopt me because they love me. Mommy and daddy went very far to come adopt me.

    In China, mommy and daddy take me shopping and out to eat. I didn’t talk to daddy very much because I was a little afraid. The boys I knew in China were mean. They not nice to talk to. I talk to mommy because she is so funny. I didn’t understand what Cassie and mommy were saying but they were so funny. They make me laugh because they singing songs like potty time.

    One time in China mommy and daddy dance. They so cute. I knew daddy was silly and he is ok because he dance with mama.

    I didn’t know very much English so I couldn’t understand. I learned to say and sign “eat, potty, drink, and thank you”.

    This year has been hard for me because I think mommy and daddy will leave me too. I think it would be better if everyone else hate me so my heart won’t hurt again. I try to make everyone mad. Mommy and daddy said they know I do this because I am afraid they are going to leave me so I want to leave first.

    But now I know mommy and daddy won’t leave me because I said bad things and made everyone mad but they still love me and forgive me.

    I believe I have a purpose and God has a plan for me. I don’t know what all I will do yet, but I know He has plan.

    Sometimes it is hard for me and I get jealous that my sister can walk and do things like have a boyfriend and go shopping and out to movies. But sometimes I think she has her own life and I have my own life too. Jealousy is not good though. It just makes you really, really mad. Mama say it is ok to get mad but you can’t be mean to anyone else.

    Sometimes when I hear people say something, I think people mean one thing and they didn’t really say that. I let me get really mad and I shouldn’t do that. I should ask people what they said and be sure. God doesn’t want me to get really mad and be mean. He wants me to trust.

    Sometimes if you are sad you should talk about it because that way you won’t be mad all day long. Talking to mommy and daddy helps. You can play games with your sisters or do something else to take your mind off of it. They understand.

    Everybody has problems they go through and lots of people have it worse than me. I have to see the good stuff in my life.

    The last couple months I have been really mad and thinking I shouldn’t write my blog any more. I think I don’t have anything to say. I just being mean to everyone. I am mad and sad.

    Mama says I can do whatever I want to do. I decided I want to write my blog so other people understand what it is like to be older when adopted and what it is like to not be able to move. I realized that there are lots of people who are worse off then me. They don’t have food, or a house, or a family that loves them.

    I have a power wheelchair. If my stuff breaks, mommy and daddy will fix it. Mommy and daddy came to adopt me and gave me lots of brothers and sisters. I have a silly mommy and daddy. I have lots of brothers and sisters who help me do stuff. They all take care of me because they love me.

    I know why mommy and daddy adopt me…because they LOVE me!

     

Archives

Blogroll

Links

Categories

Follow Blog via Email

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.