Archive for the ‘Faith’ Category
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Step Two – COMPLETE!
There are many steps in the adoption process. There are many abbreviations and letters for each step in the process. All of it can be quite confusing and overwhelming. I will try to describe it in a little more detail below.
Today I was feeling anxious and nervous about the whole process. I am excited to share her story but know so many things can still go wrong. Every time I talk about her, it becomes just a little more real. It’s sort of like when you are first pregnant. You are anxious to talk about it but you know so many things can go wrong so you hold onto those feelings, trying to protect your heart from the pain if it doesn’t go as if you hoped. The reality is that you already love this child that you have yet to meet. It won’t really matter if you try to hold back. Your heart is already gone.
I don’t want to be that way. I want to expectantly wait upon the Lord. I recently read a blog about just that fact. (Blog) On this blog she had a George Mueller quote. If you don’t know his story, I highly recommend reading more about him. His faith was astounding.
Step 1 (Finding an Agency) – was covered long ago when we found CCAI as an agency. We have nothing but good things to say about this agency. They have worked with us through our many unusual issues. They have been encouraging and honest and helpful through all six of our adoptions.
Step 1 has been accomplished. I included the file being transferred in this step because the first miracle that had to happen was for the other agency to transfer her file to CCAI. You may not call the transferring of a file a miracle, but I do. Some agencies absolutely will not transfer a file for any reason. We were pleased that they not only transferred it but did it in a very timely manner.
Step 2 (LOI) -Locking in the file of the child you wish to adopt. The agency takes your Letter of Intent (LOI) and other papers and presents them to the China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) and within two weeks the CCCWA will either say yes or no. If they say yes, you receive your pre-approval.
Step 2 was completed today! Praising the Lord for everyone moving very quickly on this matter! You are not supposed to show pictures of the child or talk about them specifically until you receive PA. It is a little different with us because so many people are advocating for her. Her name and pictures are out there. I don’t want to cause any trouble though so I am going to go back through my past blog posts and remove the links and her name specifically. The last thing I want to do is cause a problem with her adoption.
Step 3 (PA) – Pre-approval allows you the privilege of letting the child know you are adopting them. The agency then allows you to send the child pictures of your family, letters, and small gifts. Not all agencies allow it at the point of PA some make you wait until you have Letter of Acceptance (LOA).
Step 4 (1-800A) – This is the initial United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) approval to bring a child into the country. This is the preliminary immigration paperwork. You have to have a final paper 1-800 that will allow a specific child into the country but you have to start with the approval to bring a child to the U.S.
Step 5 (DTC) – Dossier paperwork. There are many different forms in the dossier. You have to notarize these forms and then have them authenticated with the Secretary of State and the Chinese Consulate (all of this depends on which state you live in). You have financial statements, physician’s forms, certified copies of birth certificates, certified copies of marriage certificates, 1-800, a home study, etc. You prepare your dossier, your agency translates and it is sent to China. (Dossier to China – DTC.)
I have actually started these forms and our home study is almost complete. Just waiting on Child Abuse Reports x 9 (anyone over 14 needs one), fingerprinting x 7 (anyone over 18 needs one), Criminal Background Check x 9 (anyone over 14 in the house or who helps watch the children needs one – welcome to the fun Stephanie. Physical Exams x 7 (anyone over 18 needs one).
There’s no time to waste when you only have 150 days left before she ages out. (Breathe Lisa breath!)
Step 6 (LID) – Dossier logged in with the CCCWA. This is also known as LID (Log In Date).
Step 7 (Article 5) – Then your Article 5 is issued which tells the CCCWA that you have permission to bring the child into the United States.
Step 8 (TA) – Travel Approval (TA) the formal invitation from China letting you know that you have permission to travel. You will usually travel within a couple weeks of receiving your Article 5.
Step 9 (Travel) – You will travel to China and within a day or two you will meet your child at the designated area. If you are traveling with a big group, you sometimes meet in Registration Offices or other formal settings. If it is only your family, they sometimes bring the child directly to your hotel room. There are many variables. You then have 24 hours before signing the official adoption papers. You stay in your child’s province until you receive the passport and then travel to Guangzhou.
Step 10 (CA) – Consulate appointment (CA) is where you take the oath to care for your child and get your Visa to enter the U.S. This is at the U.S. embassy in Guangzhou. The final step needed before heading home.
There’s many other little steps when you first apply to your agency. And throughout the adoption process including getting your passport, getting your visa, etc. but these are the big ones.
This journey will be completed one step at a time. We are getting there. As Jasmine keeps reminding me every time she hears me sigh, “God’s got this mama!” The faith of a child is a beautiful thing.
This whole adoption process has been a wonderful thing for Jasmine. It has reinforced what we had to go through to adopt her – all of the paperwork and the fees involved She told me that she couldn’t believe someone would do all of that for her. It’s been good for her to see how hard we fought for her and how much we loved her from the very start.
We can feel all the prayers that are covering us in this process. Just today when we had Codey fingerprinted the police officer went out of his way to type up a letter stating these were the best prints he could officially get. He did two fingerprint cards to try to not have a delay. We heard from another set of parents that there is another agency you can go through and get your prints back in three days. Considering the last time we printed Codey it took over 12 weeks, this is an amazing thing to learn. Even the smallest details are falling into place. We feel watched over and protected. It’s also hard to not feel positive about this all working when so many things just keep falling into place.
150 days folks. Please continue to cover her with prayer. Pray for peace for her heart as she waits. She doesn’t know she has a family and her heart must hurt thinking she is running out of time. Please pray for all of the other children who wait with her. Every child deserves the love of family.
Until the next step…
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A Leap of Faith
If you’ve been following along, you know that it started with me being convicted.
The story has continued with me being shown sign after sign. With us praying and contemplating what Jasmine had asked us to do. It then lead to Dan and I truly asking what it was that was keeping us from adopting again.
I made my list of what was keeping me personally from adopting and each thing was quickly taken care of by God. Each thing big or little was just – G.O.N.E.!!!!! Needless to say, God got my attention.
We’ve prayed and prayed and prayed some more.
Made a list and another list and another list – pros and cons – over and over again.
Prayed some more and then a little bit more for good measure.
We realized that for this to happen God was going to have to be in the details. This would be His story because there is no other way for it to happen. I wasn’t going to write about it and then I thought “You of so little faith. What are you afraid of?”.
I trust God’s plan. I believe fully that this will work. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. Matthew 21:22 Now many people believe this is like having a genie, I don’t believe this will work because I magically asked for it. I believe this will work because I asked and I believe that this is God’s will so I shall receive it.
The first step, getting her file transferred. My husband’s only wish was wanting to stay with our same agency because we have built such a wonderful relationship with them. The other agency is good. It had nothing to do with that. It was all about familiarity. I have tried to get files transferred before and it didn’t happen. Those agencies wouldn’t release them. I even had one agency that told me “Good luck in finding her after her file is released.” We are hoping and praying that they will okay this switch.
As I fretted about whether they would release her file, on Facebook I saw another mom ask which agencies will okay transferring a file of a child. And low and behold, her agency is on the list. They talk about this agency truly wanting what is best for the child.
More waiting and thinking and praying.
Asked myself these questions “Are we setting ourselves up for heartbreak? Can we really get this done in five months? What about our children’s hearts? What about her heart if she finds out she has a family and we can’t get there in time?”
And through the magic of Facebook I read a post from another parent asking others “how fast you can go from no paperwork to travel”. The answer? 3.5 months, 4 months, just under 5 months. Over and over again people told how they did it in under 5 months. We have almost exactly five months. Hallelujah there is hope!
I questioned fingerprinting. Why do we have to do our fingerprints again? Last time it took two months to get Codey’s fingerprints to clear. We don’t have that kind of time.
And by the grace of God, another family tells our social worker how they got their fingerprints expedited and done in days.
I wondered about her. More questions filled my mind. “Would she be a good fit for our family? Did she truly want a family? Does she want to move to the U.S.? Does she like little children? Would she be okay with a big family?”
And more Facebook magic. Someone read my blog and got me added to a group where they were advocating for her. (Thanks Megan!) Where I read about another mom who really wanted to adopt her but couldn’t. I messaged that mom and she put me in touch with people who truly knew this sweet girl and her heart. Which in turn let me talk on the phone with a mama who loves sweet her too and has spent two years with her in China. Which in turn lead to us seeing videos and pictures of her. I truly know more about her than any of the children we have set out to adopt.
God is so good. Ask and He will answer.
I was questioning if this was truly what He wanted us to do. Did He really want us to step up for another round of trust and faith?
It seems that way. Every question has been answered.
This has been mind blowingly amazing.
Sign me up! That is what our family has said. Sign us up for another round of faith and trust. God is good. I trust His plan. His ways are amazing. We are going to try our best and leave the rest in His hands.
This is going to be quite the ride. The paperwork has been started. Please join us on our journey. Please keep us and sweet Kelly in your prayers. It’s gonna take a miracle. To God be the glory. I can see His hand all over this story.
Oh and by the way yesterday, HER.FILE.HAS.BEEN.TRANSFERRED!!!! Step one done. Praising!!!!
We have filed our Letter of Intent (LOI) for this sweet little girl. We would appreciate your prayers as we head out on this journey. I recently posted on Facebook about why we decided to proceed with another aging out older child adoption. Here is why….
First, Jasmine thanks us and tells us how happy she is and she wants to do that for another child. She wants to make another little girl just as happy as she is. (Actually she wants to make six more girls happy but we will start with this one.)
Second, Jasmine shared that in China they had told her that if a family doesn’t come for her before she turns 14 then she will go to a horrible place with very mean people. Those mean people will just leave her in a corner without a (wheel)chair and she would get hit and be hurt and no one would feed her. (Oh to have been able to protect my girl from this pain.)
Third, she shared that she cried the day she got the letter from her daddy. Dan started the letter by saying “To my beautiful daughter”. (Jasmine told me it said pretty daughter, but it actually said beautiful.) Jasmine told me she had always been told how ugly she was and that she read her daddy’s words over and over again and believed them. (I remember Dan worrying over whether the words in that letter were the right words. He so wanted her to know how much he loved her. I love his heart.)
Jasmine informed us that people treated her poorly in China but she thought that was just the way it was supposed to be. She felt like she deserved to be belittled, left alone, and yelled at. She believed that she deserved to sit in her chair and not be allowed to eat with the rest of children, to not be allowed to go to school because she was in a wheelchair and the school was on another floor. She believed that she was not worth any of the things the other children got to do, BUT then she came here. She now sees that she is beautiful inside and out. She sees that family loves her even though her body doesn’t work that way she wishes it would. This is why she is so happy. She has a family that loves her unconditionally.
The pain and the fear and the lack of encouragement and comfort are hard on these children. There are so many children growing up without family. Please consider fostering and adopting or supporting someone who is. The world is full of these hurting souls. I can’t even put into words what Jasmine has brought to our life and this is why we have decided to proceed again for a little girl who may not YET see her worth. We are signing up to comfort her and care for her and love her unconditionally. To tuck her in and hold her hands and help her be the best her that she can be. To pick her up if she falls, to build a strong foundation under her feet, to erase her fears, and to give her what she wants most……A FAMILY!
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Please let me clarify…
Clarifying…it’s one of the things I do well. 🙂 I use the word clarify almost as much as I use the word seriously. That is part of the back story to why my blog is called Seriously Blessed. If you know me very well, you might have even heard a couple Holy Toledo’s too. Don’t ask.
I sometimes think I am explaining things very clearly and then I start to get texts and Facebooks messages. When more than a couple people asked questions, I realized I may not have been as clear as I thought I was. So I will clarify a bit further here and then we will see if there are still questions.
I do believe God is showing us clear signs that we are to adopt an almost aging out child. I do believe there may be more than one more Ellsbury child out there. There have been many more little signs that I didn’t include like yesterdays fortune cookie which was pretty funny.
I do believe God showed me their pictures to show me how many lovely girls there are out there that are running out of time. The odds of us being able to get our paperwork done in time to adopt them is pretty unlikely.
I forget that not everyone who reads my blog has adopted or knows someone who has adopted. You have to start from the very beginning each time you adopt. This is a big sore spot for me. The homestudy has to be done again and it takes a good month. You have to do fingerprinting all over again for the homestudy and then again for the immigration office. It took us 2 months to get Codey’s fingerprints cleared last time. It takes most families a good year to get everything in order from start to finish. I don’t really understand it. It’s not like we haven’t had follow-up home studies all year or that my fingerprints have changed sinced last year. It’s one of the things about adoption and all the bureaucratic red tape that I will never understand. I understand wanting to protect the child but we have been under the microscope for two years now. We aren’t new to the system.
One of the girls has five months. We can try to expedite, but as I said before, it would take a miracle. Not that I don’t believe that God could do it. Obviously, He is in the miracle business. I just believe it may not happen because that may not be His ultimate plan. I want her to have a family. She deserves a family. I want her picture to get out there so others who may be paper ready see her. She was recently added to Reece’s Rainbow so that should help.
The reason we are really praying about this and have talked about it being overly complicated is that we have three children having heart surgeries in the next couple of months. Jasmine needs surgery before the summer is out. Life is definitely complicated.
I have been in this situation before having my heart really touched by a child and having to turn it over to God and just pray. Each and every time a family has found them. My heart has been burdened. I have cried many tears and prayed many prayers. I’ve shared their pictured and hoped a family would choose them. A family did and now I watch them blossom and grow with that new family. I don’t always understand why He burdens our hearts so, but God works in mysterious ways sometimes.
Yes, these girls have touched my heart but I am unsure as to what will ultimately happen. It doesn’t mean we won’t start the paperwork. It doesn’t mean I am saying no. It just means I have no idea what God has planned but I am open to His lead.
Many people have questioned why we are not waiting. I just assumed everyone understood that it takes time. We won’t be adopting in the next month or two. If everything went unbelievably perfect, we would have a good five months before anything happened. We are taking everything into consideration. We are prayerfully considering everything. I shared my story hoping to encourage others about looking for the signs that God sends us. I believe He is saying there is more in store for our family.
That being said if you feel God nudging you in the direction of adoption, don’t let fear stop you. Let Him lead. If God brings you to it, He will get you through it. You have to believe that nothing is impossible. Yes, adoption costs a lot, but I have seen Him provide in amazing ways. Yes, there are unknowns, but the blessings are unbelievable. If God is leading you to a little boy, have I got the sweetest little guy for you to meet. If I believed God was leading us to a toddler, I would have the paperwork started already. This little boy has stolen my heart so much so I didn’t even want to share his picture. Although, he has been seen by thousands of people on the Love Without Boundaries site so I suppose I’m out of luck keeping him a secret. 🙂
Be prepared to have your heart stolen. This little guy is a cutie. Herakles
There are so many children needing families. Pray, contemplate, let God lead, watch for those signs. It’s a pretty amazing journey. I’ll be letting you know what the next signs on this amazing trip are for us. Keep praying!
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Happy Birthday Mama!
We said goodbye and celebrated my mom’s birthday on January 5th, 2014. She would have been 68 years old. We met at the church early to make her a wreath. My sister-in-law, Gayle, brought artificial flowers and the styrofoam so the grandkids could make my mom a forever wreath. My mom always made wreaths for friends and family and sometimes people she barely knew after they had died. She made these wreaths with a marker for their name. She always said she hated that it took forever for headstones to be carved and there was no indication of who was recently buried. So she made forever wreaths that could be placed at the gravesite. It was fitting that the grandkids made the final one for her.
We had champagne cake to celebrate her birthday because that is what she always brought to the kids for their birthdays. It was their favorite. We decorated the sanctuary with balloons and giant pinwheels (thank you Marcy). We hung streamers and brightly colored balloons downstairs. We had her meal catered by a Howard Ball (Feedshed Catering) who for years has smoked porkchops that mom has brought down to us. Friends and family brought more bars and candy. Grandma made her famous prune bars (delicious even though the name doesn’t sound like it).
The church is very small. One of those small community churches that are slowly fading away. I was baptized in this church, confirmed, and married there. I had my high school graduation and wedding reception there. This church holds many good memories for me. It was hard to go back after all these years to say goodbye to mom. I’m not sure how many people the church normally holds, maybe 120 – 10 pews each side, 6 people to a pew).
The basement hadn’t been used in years so friends of my mom, members of the church, cleaned and set it up for us. They set up overflow seating in the addition, maybe another 100 seats. All the seats were filled. The family had gathered in the basement to pray before the service. As we were waiting for it to start, members of the church kept coming down to get more chairs. They just kept coming and coming. It made me smile to think about my mom, who sincerely thought no one would show up at her service. She didn’t want a funeral because she believed she really didn’t know that many people who would come. There were people standing at the back of the church because there was no more room for chairs. It did my heart good to see that. On top of that, I heard from over 20 more people who couldn’t make it because of the weather. Who knows what would have happened if that horrible polar vortex hadn’t hit.
I don’t believe that my mom thought the Christ-filled life she lived really impacted people. She went about her life without fame or fanfare. Magazines and newspapers weren’t writing articles about the gifts of generosity and giving that she did. No one was writing about wiped noses, or games attended to, no one wrote about sleepless nights, or hands held and all of that is okay because she wasn’t doing it for notoriety. She simply cared about others. She lived to make people smile. One of her friends that served on the city council with her told me that ever since her mom passed away the year before, my mom would see her and give her a hug. Mom always said, “Here’s a hug from your mom.” She just cared when other people hurt. She loved to give stuff away. She loved to brighten your day.
The most money my mom ever made per year was $24,000. She was married but my stepfather didn’t make that much either. She spent the past 10 years babysitting for her grandkids. She certainly wasn’t going to get rich babysitting but she loved being with the kids. If you were at the service, you could tell how much they loved her. Her grandkids knew her. Her grandkids knew how much she cared. Her grandkids knew, if it was possible, she would be their cheering them on.
Mom wasn’t perfect by any means, but her heart was always in the right place. Life hadn’t always been kind to her. She had suffered with sarcoidosis since Cassie was born. She often felt ill. Perfumes would make it difficult to breathe. Yet, she would attend every recital, game and church event that she could. She would have to hide in a back corner sometimes if the scents were too much, but she was there.
Mom proved over and over again that you don’t have to be rich to be generous. She believed it wasn’t how much you had but what you did with what you had. She gave of her time, her heart, and her money. She would honestly give you her last dollar rather than keep it for herself. Every year when we had our craft sale, I would give her the lecture on raising her prices. I would say, “It’s okay to make a profit.” and she would just laugh at me. She would say, “I am making a profit. Plus, I get to make people happy.” How do you argue with that? She loved finding bargains and passing them on to her customers. We were at the Iowa State Fairgrounds for the past 10 years. Every year people would show up and say they headed to our booth first. It was always a wonderful weekend. Mom would spend the weekend here at the house and camp out with the kids.
I will miss the craft sale weekend and the Women of Faith weekend the most. I always looked forward to them. This year was the first one in over 11 years that I had to miss. Mom went even though she had to spend her weekend in a wheelchair. I was in the hospital with Evie and didn’t feel like I could leave. We had said we would go to the one in Minneapolis in October but she never got well enough to go.
Thank goodness I always took the time to talk to her and to visit her. I can honestly say I regret not being there with her at Women of Faith this year, but it was impossible to do so. Other than that I have very few regrets. I talked with mom a couple of times a day. She was one of my best friends. She held my hand on the worst day of my life, when my little boy died. She held me up. She encouraged me. She loved me. She was a great mom and a true friend.
She believed with her whole heart that she was going to a better place. “Home” is what she called it. She always said, “If God has a plan for me, I’ll still be here. If not, I will be hugging my grandson until we meet again.” She always had great faith. She believed in God’s plan. She trusted it no matter what. She fought as hard as she could until her body could take no more.
She lived a quiet life. She made mistakes. She believed in God with her whole heart. She loved. She gave. She changed lives and had no clue that she was doing that. She is a beautiful soul that lives on in all her children and grandchildren. She leaves a wonderful legacy of caring and giving and she didn’t have a clue that she was doing it. She just fully believed it was better to give than receive.
I will miss her and if I didn’t have every hope in a future with her, I would be unable to face my day. BUT I do have hope. For it is by grace you have been saved through faith — and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God. Ephesians 2:8 Thank God for His grace. Thank goodness I can rely on His grace for an eternity to spend with her.
Today brings me one day closer to seeing my mama again. Today I may have moments of sadness but I will not be overcome. I will hold firmly to the promises that He has made. Promises to give me a future and a hope. I hang on tight to that hope.
Here are a few of the pictures from mom’s slideshow.
We played her slideshow with the song by Steven Curtis Chapman, See You In A Little While. It was very fitting, especially the second line.
See you in a little while Mom! Give my little boy a hug for me until we are all together again. LOVE YOU!!!!!
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Thankful for…
A little boy that did better than anyone expected. (Today he has walked down the halls, had his chest tubes and i.v.’s taken out, and even smiled. UNBELIEVABLE!)
A little girl that we were told was deaf but can hear enough to dance to the music.
A little girl who now understands love and has learned how to give kisses.
A little boy that has blossomed and grown.
Exciting proposals and new additions to the family.
Family that becomes best friends.
People coming together to help others.
Shaved little heads that now hold enough hair for big sister to do a silly hairdo.
Siblings that get opportunities to make great memories together. (Hope loves special effects make-up. Cassie took her to be a zombie extra in a local movie.)
Big siblings that love their siblings enough to take care of them when mommy and daddy have to be gone with someone who is sick.
Husbands who support you, dream with you, love you, and make you laugh for more than 29 years.
Friends, family and others who encourage, support and pray for you.
Meeting people who have majorly changed your lives. (Maria’s Big House of Hope, New Hope Foundation and the Chapman’s daughters words that made me rethink being too old to adopt.)
Thankful, blessed, grateful, overwhelmed, and humbled – all these and more.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!
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Do the difficult….
Sometimes a blog post gets stuck. You know what you want to say but you can’t find the words to adequately do it justice. There are just so many emotions wrapped up in it that you can’t even begin. I have been feeling that way the past couple of weeks. I have written and rewritten this post so many times. I have given up on trying to find the perfect words and decided instead to just write.
Friends, that we now have the privilege of knowing through the magic of Facebook, fought the hard battle to get their little girl Rini home from China. They and their agency went to battle to prove they could care for her, love her and give her the best possible chance at life. We talk about this being hard for the orphanage director and others in China to understand, but the reality is it is hard for most people to understand. Why would you adopt a child with such severe medical needs? Why would you go to battle for a child that may die before you can even get them home? Why would you open your heart to such pain? Why would you put the rest of your family through this?
WHY? Because God called! Because she is your daughter. Because you would do anything to rescue your child. Eric Ludy has a video called Depraved Indifference that tells it beautifully. If this was your child, would you not go to the ends of the earth to make sure she was safe?
The truth of the matter is, that we live in a country, during a time, that most people will find it too difficult to watch Mr. Ludy’s 7 minute video because they just don’t have the time. How can those same people be expected to wrap their minds around what Eric and Andrea have done?
I would like you to stop a moment and really look at Rini’s face. Don’t just glance over it. Does she not deserve love? Could you look at this face and say, “She does not deserve the love of a family?” There’s a quote that says it best. “We learned that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.” – David Platt
From the beginning they have been doing the “hard”, the “difficult”. She didn’t come home pretty healthy and slowly decline. She was in the PICU in China. She is now awaiting a heart transplant. Her little heart stopped the other day. They are on borrowed time. Yet, they are honored to be her parents. Why do you think that is? Do you think it is just because they have some supernatural ability that the rest of us don’t have? Do you think it’s because they are somehow stronger? Do you think they’ve lost their minds?
Well, you’d be wrong on all accounts. What they have is faith. What they have is trust. What they believe with their whole hearts is that this is a child worth fighting for. This is their daughter!!!! What would you do for your daughter?
If you’ve been called, then your child is waiting some where. I want you to really, truly let that soak in your mind. If you have been called by God to adopt and you are not proceeding for whatever excuse you allow yourself to think, then your child is hurting and alone and you are doing NOTHING!
All around the world, children are born in countries where the “least of these” are hidden away. Parents are told right at birth that their child must be put in an institution. Children who look like this (before) while they are being cared for in an infant institution are then transferred at a very young age to an adult institution (after) where it is estimated 70-80% of children die in the first year.
Can you look at Kyle’s sweet face and say that he didn’t deserve the love of a family?
Well, the truth is, he didn’t get a family and he recently just passed away.
You want to blame God for these problems?
Nope, can’t do. We have free will. Man chose to put Kyle in the orphanage. Man chose to leave him in the orphanage. Man chose to treat him like he didn’t matter. Man chose to not step up. Man chose not to be the hands and feet of God. Man chose not to adopt him and he died.
That makes the blame ours…..not Gods.
If we say we are Christians, and we do nothing to help the least of these, then we are not practicing true religion as God says in James 1:27.
We have to stop treating these children like they don’t matter.
That is in essence what we do when we turn our backs.
When we don’t read the stories, because it is just too sad.
When we don’t stand up for the least of these because we don’t have the time.
When we say that it’s another country and they should take care of their own.
When we pretend it isn’t happening and just go about our business.
When we make excuses for why we can’t adopt or sponsor or foster.
We are in fact saying that these children do not deserve to be loved.
Because in an institution they may have food and clothing but they do NOT have love.
We know this fact first hand. We have watched our children blossom with love.
We have seen them on day one, dejected, sad, and withdrawn because every moment they spend in an institution chips away at their humanity.
Babies are meant to be held and loved not spend their day lying in a crib.
Children are meant to be hugged and praised and loved.
And with each hug and “I love you” they became a little more alive.
Every child wants a mother and a father. They may not know what that truly means but they know very early on that the word family is a wonderful thing.
We are failing.
We have been called to do more.
We are asked to do the difficult.
I’ve read so many blogs from parents who are doing the difficult. Rini’s parents. Lizzie’s parents. Ruthie’s parents. Katie’s parents. Ruby’s parents. Jenny’s parents. The list goes on and on. I am moved every time I read one of their stories because they didn’t choose the easy road. They didn’t turn their back because they thought it might be hard. They stepped up and took that first step in faith not knowing where their journey would take them.
Rini’s mom talked about what constitutes winning in Rini’s life. She says she feels like many people believe life equals winning and death equals losing. But then she read a quote by Art Spiegelman from the book Maus. “So it’s as though life equals winning, and death equals losing, and the victims are then to blame. But the best didn’t live and the worst didn’t die. It was random.”
It is the same way with a child in an orphanage. They are not somehow “less than” because they ended up there. It was random. They were born in the wrong country or to parents who couldn’t or wouldn’t provide. Your children do not deserve all that they have because they are somehow better. You do not deserve this blessed life because you are somehow better. By random luck you were born at this time, in this country, with all the blessings that you have.
Winning in life isn’t about acquiring the most toys. Winning isn’t about being famous, or rich. Winning isn’t being the fittest, retiring the earliest, living the most selfish, self-centered life that you can. That is NOT winning!
Stop closing your eyes. Stop pretending this isn’t happening. 147+ million orphans. Thousands upon thousands available for adoption as I write this.
God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called.
If all we think about is ourselves, then we are not doing what we were called to do. We raise children who believe they can only be children once. Everything in their lives revolves around them and they spend their lives wanting more, expecting more. Life is can be difficult. Life has responsibilities. Life requires giving and loving even when it hurts. If you are going through life and nothing stretches you, nothing makes you hurt, then you best be looking a little harder at your life. I’m not talking about trying to wake up at 5 and exercise or diet a little more, or running that 1/2 marathon, that’s all fine and dandy. What I’m talking about is the fact that life should stretch you outside of yourself. What are you doing for others? How are you giving of yourself?
C.S. Lewis says it best “I’m afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare…If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, they are too small.
Stop thinking small!
Stop waiting for others to fix it!
Stand up for what you believe is right!
Do the difficult!
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Good Friday
Today is Good Friday! The day Christ hung on a cross and died to pay for our sins. He suffered so we could live. What a beautiful act of sacrificial love. I hear many people talk about how to get to heaven. We complicate a beautiful, simple, grace-filled thing. We all sin and, therefore, can not enter by our own merits.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
So what can we do to be saved? How much good do we have to do to get to spend eternity with God in heaven? How much is enough? There is nothing we can do except believe that Jesus died on the cross for us. God’s grace saves us. God’s grace and our belief in Christ is all that it takes.
Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God
Acts 16:31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
What a beautiful, simple gift for us – not so simple for Christ. Jesus suffered and died for us. He paid the price for our sins so that we could one day live with Him. He was buried and rose again on the third day according to scripture.
1 Corinthians 15:3-4 For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures
Thank you, Lord, for the ultimate gift. The gift of eternal life through belief in you. I am humbled and amazed that You would allow me to be called a child of Yours.
John 1:12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God
Happy Easter everyone!
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Life isn’t fair – now what?
There have been many things that have happened to people we know in the past couple of months – babies and toddlers dying, babies being diagnosed with things no parent wants to hear, cancer diagnosis, heart bypass, problems with teenagers – life altering issues to say the least.
I spent some time thinking about this because I was talking to my mom about things I wished I had known when Kyle died and Codey had all of his complications. The one thing I wish I had at the beginning was complete faith in God’s plan. It took me some time to take it all in and just accept that God had a plan. I finally let go of my hurt when I realized God is perfect, God’s plan is perfect, God does not make mistakes, and even though I will not fully understand it on this side of my life, I still believed those facts to be true. If I believed those facts to be true, I had to accept it and deal with it – not complain about it, not question it or why it happened to me. I had to accept it and make the best of what my life would now be.
There are many books that talk about this being a fallen world. Does God allow bad things to happen? Does God set these things in motion? Does free will come into play? Do bad things happen because of man’s free will and then God works them for good? You can question why it happens. You can question whether it is punishment. You can spend your life dwelling on all these things and you will still not have an answer or you can turn it over to God. The choice is yours. Every day that choice is yours.
Dan had a great aunt that used to ask the question “why not me?”. That was eye opening for me. When I stopped to ask myself “why not me?” instead of believing that I somehow deserved to not have pain in my life, then I could turn it all over to God and ask Him what I should do with it. What should I do with this pain? What are you trying to teach me? What am I supposed to learn? It was pretty arrogant of me to believe that I somehow deserved this blessed life I got to live. I don’t deserve anything.
I believe with all my heart that Codey did nothing to deserve this. I, on the other hand, know how imperfect I am and prayed that nothing I did brought this into our lives. I know I have sinned. I know I have done wrong. I had confessed my sins and claimed God’s promises of forgiveness, but still I wondered, did I do this? When I found the verse, John 9:1-3, it brought tears to my eyes and a new understanding to what God was expecting from me. As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”
I firmly believe this. Your life and how you live it is your best testimony. It doesn’t mean you don’t have bad days. It doesn’t mean you are never afraid or worried. What it does mean though is that people are watching. If you profess your love for God but doubt His plan and are angry at Him for His plan, what does that say? If you let bitterness take over your life, what are you saying? Do you believe you deserve to have the perfect life? Do you believe bad things shouldn’t happen to you? Do you have those Christian thoughts that say “I go to church. I tithe. I signed up for the perfect Christian life.” If you do, now is the time to go back and truly read the Bible. Look at what happened to those who truly loved and followed God. Many became martyrs. Many had horrible, horrible things happen to them. Just like with Job, you have the choice to praise God or curse Him. Every day the choice is yours. Every day you have the choice to see only the horrible or to start to see all the beautiful miracles that are all around you.
I know many people look at Codey’s life and see nothing but pain and all the things he isn’t able to do BUT when I look at Codey I see a miracle! Codey was supposed to be in a vegetative state – blind and deaf. He was trached for the first 4 years of his life. He came home from the hospital on a ventilator. Codey has been through so much and his pain has been more than I could bear to watch on many occasions. Life hasn’t been easy with Codey. It has been so different than anything I had ever planned on. If you had asked me at the age of 22, if this was the life I wanted, if you had presented me with all this information, and asked me to choose this path, the answer would have been a resounding “NO!” But 25 years later, I would do it all again. I would choose my life. My faith in God is so much stronger. I take nothing for granted. I worry less and love so much more. I try to let those around me know that they matter and that I love them. I try not to let the little things take over my life. I praise God in every way that I can. I thank God many times throughout my day for this wonderful, blessed life that I am able to live. I have lived with a little and I have had a lot. What I know to be the truth is that things don’t matter – people matter! I would give all I own to get my other children here right now or to spend another day with Kyle.
In life we have choices, every single day. When presented with things in life that take away everything we once held dear, we have the choice to trust God or to rage against God. I once heard Rick Warren say, “That grief is a part of life, but you can’t let a season of grief turn into a lifestyle of grief.” You have to deal with grief whenever a dream of yours dies. You have to give yourself time to process it all, but you can’t allow yourself to get stuck there.
Life is unfair! Life is a BIG test! But the choice is yours. Will you claim God’s promises? Will you dive into His word? Will you praise Him even when it hurts or will you let this take over your life?
Remember to hold those you love close. Don’t let little things make you complain. You are here for a reason. What is God asking of you? Who’s life will you influence for good or bad? It is your choice. If you are at one of those crossroads, I pray that God’s peace surrounds you and that His love sustains you. I pray that you are able to truly grasp just how much He truly loves you. He is not punishing you. He is using you to show His glory. Allow yourself to let that glory show. You are stronger than you believe. Just give yourself some time. I believe you will one day look back in amazement at just how strong you were and just how much God blessed your life with the test He set before you. All things work together for good, NOT all things will be good. Remember that and let Him work all things together for good for you.
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