• Do the difficult….

    Date: 2013.11.07 | Category: Adoption, Faith, Thoughts to ponder | Tags:

    Sometimes a blog post gets stuck.  You know what you want to say but you can’t find the words to adequately do it justice. There are just so many emotions wrapped up in it that you can’t even begin.  I have been feeling that way the past couple of weeks.   I have written and rewritten this post so many times.  I have given up on trying to find the perfect words and decided instead to just write.

    Friends, that we now have the privilege of knowing through the magic of Facebook, fought the hard battle to get their little girl Rini home from China.  They and their agency went to battle to prove they could care for her, love her and give her the best possible chance at life.  We talk about this being hard for the orphanage director and others in China to understand, but the reality is it is hard for most people to understand.  Why would you adopt a child with such severe medical needs?  Why would you go to battle for a child that may die before you can even get them home? Why would you open your heart to such pain? Why would you put the rest of your family through this?

    WHY?  Because God called!  Because she is your daughter.  Because you would do anything to rescue your child.  Eric Ludy has a video called Depraved Indifference that tells it beautifully.  If this was your child, would you not go to the ends of the earth to make sure she was safe?

    The truth of the matter is, that we live in a country, during a time, that most people will find it too difficult to watch Mr. Ludy’s 7 minute video because they just don’t have the time.  How can those same people be expected to wrap their minds around what Eric and Andrea have done?


    I would like you to stop a moment and really look at Rini’s face.  Don’t just glance over it.  Does she not deserve love?  Could you look at this face and say, “She does not deserve the love of a family?”  There’s a quote that says it best.  “We learned that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.”  – David Platt

    From the beginning they have been doing the “hard”, the “difficult”.  She didn’t come home pretty healthy and slowly decline.  She was in the PICU in China.  She is now awaiting a heart transplant.  Her little heart stopped the other day.  They are on borrowed time.  Yet, they are honored to be her parents.   Why do you think that is?  Do you think it is just because they have some supernatural ability that the rest of us don’t have?  Do you think it’s because they are somehow stronger?  Do you think they’ve lost their minds?

    Well, you’d be wrong on all accounts.  What they have is faith.  What they have is trust.  What they believe with their whole hearts is that this is a child worth fighting for.  This is their daughter!!!!   What would you do for your daughter?

    If you’ve been called, then your child is waiting some where.  I want you to really, truly let that soak in your mind.  If you have been called by God to adopt and you are not proceeding for whatever excuse you allow yourself to think, then your child is hurting and alone and you are doing NOTHING!

    All around the world, children are born in countries where the “least of these” are hidden away.  Parents are told right at birth that their child must be put in an institution. Children who look like this (before) while they are being cared for in an infant institution are then transferred at a very young age to an adult institution (after) where it is estimated 70-80% of children die in the first year.


    Can you look at Kyle’s sweet face and say that he didn’t deserve the love of a family?

    Well, the truth is, he didn’t get a family and he recently just passed away.

    You want to blame God for these problems?

    Nope, can’t do.  We have free will.  Man chose to put Kyle in the orphanage.  Man chose to leave him in the orphanage.  Man chose to treat him like he didn’t matter.  Man chose to not step up.  Man chose not to be the hands and feet of God.  Man chose not to adopt him and he died.

    That makes the blame ours…..not Gods.

    If we say we are Christians, and we do nothing to help the least of these, then we are not practicing true religion as God says in James 1:27.

    We have to stop treating these children like they don’t matter.

    That is in essence what we do when we turn our backs.

    When we don’t read the stories, because it is just too sad.

    When we don’t stand up for the least of these because we don’t have the time.

    When we say that it’s another country and they should take care of their own.

    When we pretend it isn’t happening and just go about our business.

    When we make excuses for why we can’t adopt or sponsor or foster.

    We are in fact saying that these children do not deserve to be loved.

    Because in an institution they may have food and clothing but they do NOT have love.

    We know this fact first hand.  We have watched our children blossom with love.

    We have seen them on day one, dejected, sad, and withdrawn because every moment they spend in an institution chips away at their humanity.

    Babies are meant to be held and loved not spend their day lying in a crib.

    Children are meant to be hugged and praised and loved.

    And with each hug and “I love you” they became a little more alive.

    Every child wants a mother and a father.  They may not know what that truly means but they know very early on that the word family is a wonderful thing.

    We are failing.

    We have been called to do more.

    We are asked to do the difficult.

    I’ve read so many blogs from parents who are doing the difficult.  Rini’s parents.  Lizzie’s parents.  Ruthie’s parents.  Katie’s parents.  Ruby’s parents.  Jenny’s parents.  The list goes on and on.  I am moved every time I read one of their stories because they didn’t choose the easy road.  They didn’t turn their back because they thought it might be hard.  They stepped up and took that first step in faith not knowing where their journey would take them.

    Rini’s mom talked about what constitutes winning in Rini’s life.  She says she feels like many people believe life equals winning and death equals losing.  But then she read a quote by Art Spiegelman from the book Maus.  “So it’s as though life equals winning, and death equals losing, and the victims are then to blame.  But the best didn’t live and the worst didn’t die.  It was random.”

    It is the same way with a child in an orphanage.  They are not somehow “less than” because they ended up there.  It was random.  They were born in the wrong country or to parents who couldn’t or wouldn’t provide.  Your children do not deserve all that they have because they are somehow better.  You do not deserve this blessed life because you are somehow better.  By random luck you were born at this time, in this country, with all the blessings that you have.

    Winning in life isn’t about acquiring the most toys.  Winning isn’t about being famous, or rich.   Winning isn’t being the fittest, retiring the earliest, living the most selfish, self-centered life that you can.  That is NOT winning!

    Stop closing your eyes.  Stop pretending this isn’t happening.  147+ million orphans.  Thousands upon thousands available for adoption as I write this.

    God does not call the qualified.  He qualifies the called.

    If all we think about is ourselves, then we are not doing what we were called to do.  We raise children who believe they can only be children once.  Everything in their lives revolves around them and they spend their lives wanting more, expecting more.  Life is can be difficult.  Life has responsibilities.  Life requires giving and loving even when it hurts.  If you are going through life and nothing stretches you, nothing makes you hurt, then you best be looking a little harder at your life.  I’m not talking about trying to wake up at 5 and exercise or diet a little more, or running that 1/2 marathon, that’s all fine and dandy.  What I’m talking about is the fact that life should stretch you outside of yourself.  What are you doing for others?  How are you giving of yourself?

    C.S. Lewis says it best “I’m afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare…If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, they are too small.

    Stop thinking small!

    Stop waiting for others to fix it!

    Stand up for what you believe is right!

    Do the difficult!