So it’s official, I’m a lucky, lucky mama…

Date: 2012.03.26 | Category: Adoption, Benjamin, Maisey | Response: 0

I get to wake up to these two sweet faces every day. I’m amazed that all the things I worried about never came to be. Yes, I said I learned my lesson, but obviously I had not. As a mama who loves her children and their cuddles, it was hard to think that Benji and Maisey may need time to warm up to me. But that worry never came to be, the kids both came to us that first day and have been attached ever since. Benjamin said “Dada” just two days in and while we were still in China he told me, “Wo ai ni Mama!” My heart just melted. Last night he looked at me at said “My mama” over and over again. He giggled and giggled. I love that. I love that they adore all their siblings already. How is that even possible? It’s like they have always been a part of this family. I was truly amazed at how all the children in our group were so attached to their parents and how quickly it happened. They obviously wanted to be loved, but it was so much more. Maybe God does what Dan had prayed for and He gives them a glimpse of who their parents will be. Dan prayed over and over again for Benjamin and Maisey to dream about us.

Benjamin and Maisey have played really well together. They both patiently wait for me to feed them. Benjamin shares his toys with her and there hasn’t been any hitting. I look at how bright Benjamin is and I wonder how they couldn’t see it. There was nothing said about that in any of the papers we received. He has said 50 or more English words already. He points to things and says “What is it?” and repeats whatever we say. The best news about Maisey is we truly think she can hear a little bit. Dan put the headphones on her right behind her ear and turned it up. She danced around and when he turned off the music she got upset. It was a repeatable thing. What a blessing that would be to be able to give her hearing. Benjamin is pretty sick. Our cardiologist wanted to do the heart catherization right away, but Dan and he agreed that Benjamin probably isn’t healthy enough to just do it. We have an echo, chest x-ray, and EKG on Wednesday. The cardiologist agreed to work him in on Wednesday when we are over in Iowa City getting Grace’s chemo done. It is nice having connections, but I think it should work that way for all parents.

I can not believe how blessed I am to be able to be a mother to these two sweet little kids. They have wonderful spirits and they laugh all the time. They melt my heart over and over again. What a gift God has blessed me with. I don’t deserve it, but I’m grateful beyond measure!

One of the moving stories I heard on my trip…

Date: 2012.03.23 | Category: Adoption | Response: 0

We met lots of wonderful people, heard amazing stories, saw incredible things while we were in China.  I have so much I want to write about, but my lack of sleep is catching up with me.  I did, however, have to make a small post about a family we met while we were there.  They weren’t with us for most of the trip, but met up with us when we reached Guangzhou for the visa paperwork, physicals, etc.  They have 4 biological children and have adopted from China 6 times – their last adoption being just 6 months ago.  They met this 14 year old girl when they were there last August picking up their 9th child.  Blythe acted as a surrogate big sister to many in the orphanage.  The story is wonderful and I wouldn’t do it as much justice as it deserves so I’m attaching the link to their blog about their adoptions.  They have a wonderful family full of love.  I was like a little girl who just met someone new on the playground that I really liked. I was just so excited!  Tamera, the mother, has a large family, a big heart for God, homeschools and some of their children have special needs.  It was so much fun to talk to her.   The website is worth it just to see her cute little kids, but if you have time, read Blythe’s story.  It’s worth the time.  God is good!  http://myadoptionwebsite.com/blythe/about.htm

Moved Beyond Measure

Date: 2012.03.20 | Category: Adoption | Response: 0

This has been the most enlightening trip. It has changed me in so many ways. I’ve been through a few things in my life. I’ve had empty cupboards, had to accept charity to pay medical bills, had to bury a child, watched my children fight for their lives, but through it all I’ve had family. I’ve been so blessed, truly, truly blessed even in the worst of times. I have children whom I adore and a husband who is my best friend – who is able to make me laugh in the worst of situations. We make a good living now which allows us to help support our mothers and others. But this trip has shown me true poverty and true need and helplessness in these orphanages. I used to wonder what can I do to make a difference. I can only do this little thing. Why even try? But if you make a difference in one life it’s a huge thing to that person. Pick something that moves you. Listen to God’s prodding. I think Satan likes that we feel overwhelmed & unable to make a difference. It keeps us from trying.

Maisey has been told by at least 4 people that she is a lucky, lucky girl. I understand what they are saying, her life held little future for her here. In America she might get her hearing. She can fix her jaw – if she wants. I feel blessed to be her mother.  First, because she has a beautiful, wonderful spirit about her. She is so animated and so funny. Second, because I can give her opportunities that she otherwise wouldn’t have. God lead me to that. He placed this wonderful opportunity on my heart, at this point in my life.  I’m completely & utterly blown away.

And the same with Benjamin, we can change his health. We can give him a chance at years of life.  But the most surprising thing for me is that I have been so moved by his trust and ability to love. We pout about the most trivial of things. We whine about the stupidest things. I have been able to stop and truly live in the moment here. To watch him blossom right before my eyes. To hear him giggle, run to me with arms outstretched, to say I love you and last night he ran up to me and kissed me. How often do we appreciate the kiss of our children? Truly appreciate their love and the blessing that they are? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my children. I get how easily they can be taken. I don’t let things get me down on most days. I try to live in the moment. I understand that learning your times tables isn’t as important as building your foundation & learning to rely on God.  We push and prod and expect certain things based on the world’s standards. I’m letting go of even more of that. Maisey & Benjamin are so far behind where they need to be.  Will they ever catch up? Does it even matter? (Toby Mac is playing in my head right now “I don’t want to gain the whole world & lose my soul”!)

So my tidbit of advice today is simply this. Life is short. Pick some place to make a difference. Pick something you can see.  I like things like Smile Train for just that reason. For $250 you can change the life of a child, open a world of opportunities to him or her. There are hundreds of these opportunities out there. We all think we can’t afford to, especially in these times. But I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I don’t need.  How often I buy stuff only to donate it to Goodwill (not that that isn’t important too).  How often I impulsively spent money – at all the different points in my life. We rush through life trying to accomplish things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.  Will God be saying “Well, done good & faithful servant.  Your house was always spotless?” (This has always been a testing point for me. I like organized and most days my life is organized chaos.) But in my hectic, I don’t spend as much time as I probably should in the quiet. So I ask you to spend time in quiet moments. Listen to His prodding, whose life is He going to allow you to change? Start small and just smile at others, open a door, prepare a meal for someone, let someone go first in line – even Christ helped people one person at a time. What will your calling be? Where will He lead you? I shall be praying for you. Spread a little joy today – it’ll change your life too!

I hope they don’t remember.

Date: 2012.03.19 | Category: Adoption | Response: 0

One of the most heart wrenching things that has happened on our trip was a rather small event in the grand scheme of things. Dan woke up to Maisey crying in her sleep. She sat up in bed, the nightlight was shining & she had her back to him. Her little shoulders were just shaking as she sobbed. Here’s this little, frail girl crying on a corner of the bed. It just breaks my heart that her thoughts bring her to tears in her sleep. This was not an I’m hungry cry or even an I’m frightened cry exactly. It was more of a broken hearted cry. I hope that they don’t remember any of the painful moments that we couldn’t protect them from.

Normal(ish) Days

Date: 2012.03.19 | Category: Adoption | Response: 0

Well, we’ve settled into some semblance of normal. We wake up, go to the most amazing buffet here at the China Hotel (Marriott),  accomplish whatever paper work needs to take place, then it’s nap time, play time, supper & more playtime then to bed. It’s been wonderful to just get to know the kids better. We haven’t been doing tours or anything because the kids just get worn out & cranky. Things have been going so much better than I anticipated. They get along well. Play well together. Share their things – even food. Benjamin has been wearing the kid’s picture around his neck. He wakes up & asks for it first thing every morning. He loves to FaceTime with the kids. Maisey is a ham. She is really coming out of her shell even with others now. She waves & smiles. Benjamin learned how to feed himself already. I can’t believe they were still feeding him & that no one had tried to potty train him. Our cultures are so different. He’s a bright boy. He’ll catch on fast. I have been saying thank you to him in Chinese. They told me to say “shaya shaya” (xie xie). Yesterday he corrected me until I said it fast enough & the correct way. I think I’ve got it now. 🙂
I am still blown away by their willingness to trust & love. They’ve had a very tough life. Benjamin’s security blanket is a spoon & a cup. He falls asleep with them.  He had been carrying crust from his pizza around for about an hour. I wasn’t even thinking & took it out of his hands to wash them. It put him in a crying jag that lasted 10 minutes. They just have this fear of people taking their food. It breaks my heart. I take too many things for granted. Ice, running water that I can drink, clean clothes, food that is plentiful, food that doesn’t cause food poisoning (we’ve had 8 people get it so far), good medical care – just to name a few.  I’m so blessed to be born in this time & in this place.

Pictures

Date: 2012.03.18 | Category: Adoption, Benjamin, Maisey | Response: 0

Kids playing in the hotel.

A bit of light reading.

Look who loves his hat!

Maisey does too.

Cuddle buddies.

Look at those handsome boys.

Mei Mei’s favorite spot: Mommy’s lap.

Update:

Date: 2012.03.18 | Category: Adoption | Response: 0

Mommy update:
It’s so hard to be half way around the world from your family. I miss them all like crazy. We are getting closer to being done. Yesterday we got their passports so we left for Guangzhou. Today we got their physicals done. Maisey weighed 17 pounds fully dressed. Benjamin is almost 23 pounds. They both look like they’ve put on a little weight. They should, they are like little birds, mouths open, waiting to be fed all the time. It is so sweet with them sitting there patiently waiting for you to feed them but heartbreaking at the same time. Neither of them has been taught how to feed themselves. Oh by the way…..The best thing happened to me today. I was boiling water (because you can’t drink any without boiling it first) for Maisey’s bottle & Benjamin ran up behind me and yelled mama. He then said wo ai ni mama. He giggled and giggled. My little boy told me he loved me. I tell him all the time & he said it back.
Yep, I’m a goner. 🙂

New Pictures

Date: 2012.03.17 | Category: Adoption, Benjamin, Maisey | Response: 0

“Really Mom? Another picture?”

Benji doesn’t like to hold still for pictures…

Look at that grin!

Reading with Daddy.

Perfecting the puppy eyes.

One More Stop….

Date: 2012.03.17 | Category: Adoption | Response: 0

Mom and Dad made it safely to Guangzhou, their last stop before flying to Hong Kong and then home! Mom said the kids did great. Dad showed Benji the Ipad, and he was amazed. They said it was adorable. 🙂

There’s No Place Like Home

Date: 2012.03.17 | Category: Adoption | Response: 0

We went to the orphanage with Benji & Maisey. It was a nice, clean place. Had music therapy, water therapy & physical therapy. It sat behind metal gates & walls with glass pieces cemented in the top. The most telling thing was that Benji wouldn’t go to anyone. Not his nanny, not anyone. He wouldn’t even smile at them. Kids need love. It’s not just about providing for them, keeping them clean & protected. We bought them toys that they’ll have nothing to do with. What have they played with the most? A deck of cards and the door hangers. All of us have been ill since arriving home from the orphanage. Dan was hit the hardest. I don’t remember the last time he slept for 14+ hours. At first I thought it was the 3 hour drive there & back, driving here is crazy. There is absolutely no way I could do it everyday. Lanes aren’t a consideration, most of the roads lanes aren’t even painted and it’s 3 or 4 lane interstate. At one point, I saw a guy drive into oncoming traffic for a nice game of chicken. Mopeds, bikes, tractors, huge holes in the road, it’s plain crazy. We had a meeting yesterday and everyone asked how we are doing. I told them & instantly other families were offering to go to Wal-mart for us & one went so far as to offer us Lipton chicken noodle soup only to show up with plain ramen for the kids, soup for Dan & rolls. We have meet some really wonderful families here. We are traveling with 12 other families. They all have amazing stories that have brought them here. Every of those stories start with a big dose of faith. I don’t know what I was expecting exactly when everyone got their babies but a lot more tears & yelling was certainly expected. These babies just want a family. They cling to the moms and the dads. Benji & Maisey have both just opened their hearts to Dan & I. We’ve had a year of thinking about them. A year to grow to love them. I was not expecting the depth of their love & trust already. They have had really tough lives. They both look like poster children for “feed the children”. Benji won’t go to sleep unless he has a cracker in his hand. They cry if I move the ramen out of their site. They don’t understand that there is more food. That I won’t let them go hungry again. Yet, neither of them is impatient with the other. They each patiently take a bite. They smile & wait. You have to be careful with how much food you put in the bowl because they will eat it until it’s gone. I just can’t say it enough. I have been so blessed these past few days. They run at me with big smiles on their faces, arms outstretched, ready to hug & love & giggle. That’s not to say everything is perfect. Benjamin has night terrors that put him into a crying jag that will rip your heart right out of your chest. I just hold him and cry. But they, who’ve had nothing, still have the sweetest spirits. Count your blessings, be thankful for all that you have and hug those kids of yours even tighter this evening and if you just happen to hear Him talking to you about opening your heart and your home to another little one who has been abandoned. Well, be sure to listen. It’s an amazing, amazing thing. But for now, I’m clicking my little red shoes, cause there’s no place like home…..there’s no place like home……