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Moved Beyond Measure
This has been the most enlightening trip. It has changed me in so many ways. I’ve been through a few things in my life. I’ve had empty cupboards, had to accept charity to pay medical bills, had to bury a child, watched my children fight for their lives, but through it all I’ve had family. I’ve been so blessed, truly, truly blessed even in the worst of times. I have children whom I adore and a husband who is my best friend – who is able to make me laugh in the worst of situations. We make a good living now which allows us to help support our mothers and others. But this trip has shown me true poverty and true need and helplessness in these orphanages. I used to wonder what can I do to make a difference. I can only do this little thing. Why even try? But if you make a difference in one life it’s a huge thing to that person. Pick something that moves you. Listen to God’s prodding. I think Satan likes that we feel overwhelmed & unable to make a difference. It keeps us from trying.
Maisey has been told by at least 4 people that she is a lucky, lucky girl. I understand what they are saying, her life held little future for her here. In America she might get her hearing. She can fix her jaw – if she wants. I feel blessed to be her mother. First, because she has a beautiful, wonderful spirit about her. She is so animated and so funny. Second, because I can give her opportunities that she otherwise wouldn’t have. God lead me to that. He placed this wonderful opportunity on my heart, at this point in my life. I’m completely & utterly blown away.
And the same with Benjamin, we can change his health. We can give him a chance at years of life. But the most surprising thing for me is that I have been so moved by his trust and ability to love. We pout about the most trivial of things. We whine about the stupidest things. I have been able to stop and truly live in the moment here. To watch him blossom right before my eyes. To hear him giggle, run to me with arms outstretched, to say I love you and last night he ran up to me and kissed me. How often do we appreciate the kiss of our children? Truly appreciate their love and the blessing that they are? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my children. I get how easily they can be taken. I don’t let things get me down on most days. I try to live in the moment. I understand that learning your times tables isn’t as important as building your foundation & learning to rely on God. We push and prod and expect certain things based on the world’s standards. I’m letting go of even more of that. Maisey & Benjamin are so far behind where they need to be. Will they ever catch up? Does it even matter? (Toby Mac is playing in my head right now “I don’t want to gain the whole world & lose my soul”!)
So my tidbit of advice today is simply this. Life is short. Pick some place to make a difference. Pick something you can see. I like things like Smile Train for just that reason. For $250 you can change the life of a child, open a world of opportunities to him or her. There are hundreds of these opportunities out there. We all think we can’t afford to, especially in these times. But I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I don’t need. How often I buy stuff only to donate it to Goodwill (not that that isn’t important too). How often I impulsively spent money – at all the different points in my life. We rush through life trying to accomplish things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Will God be saying “Well, done good & faithful servant. Your house was always spotless?” (This has always been a testing point for me. I like organized and most days my life is organized chaos.) But in my hectic, I don’t spend as much time as I probably should in the quiet. So I ask you to spend time in quiet moments. Listen to His prodding, whose life is He going to allow you to change? Start small and just smile at others, open a door, prepare a meal for someone, let someone go first in line – even Christ helped people one person at a time. What will your calling be? Where will He lead you? I shall be praying for you. Spread a little joy today – it’ll change your life too!
