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Celebrating Gotcha Day
It doesn’t seem possible that it has been a year since we waited anxiously in the Registration Office for them to show up with our son and daughter. We had traveled with 12 other families and most of us were in one large room waiting for our little ones to arrive. Would I recognize Ben and Maisey when they walked in the door? I had looked at their pictures over and over for a year, but would I know them once they came through that door? One by one, children were brought in by the directors of the orphanage or the nanny who cared for them. Most parents cried. Some children cried, but most of the children were unusually quiet. It was such a moving experience. To this day, watching a video of anyone’s gotcha day brings me to tears. It is such an unbelievable moment.
Suddenly Maisey was there. She was bundled in 3 snowsuits and looked so quiet and sad. The director was gruff. Hardly said a word to us, threw her in our arms, and was gone. They didn’t return any of the things we had sent to her. They didn’t take the pictures with the disposable camera that we had sent. There was a photo album from the time she had spent in New Hope and we were thankful for her time there, but it was obvious she was not loved while she was in the orphanage at least not by the people who came to drop her off.
We waited and waited for Ben. His orphanage was 90 minutes away and it seemed like everyone else already had their child. Dan impatiently paced back and forth searching every car that pulled up for his little boy. All of a sudden Ben was there. Dan stood there, looked back at me with tears in his eyes and went to get his boy. What a moment. I still get teary eyed thinking about how sad Ben looked and how in love my husband looked. Not a whimper from Ben. No words. No fear. He just grabbed on to Dan and would not let go. Dan had been praying all year that God would allow them to dream about us and let them know that we were coming. It seemed as if Dan got his wish. Neither of the children were afraid. They wouldn’t get down and play. They just held on to us for dear life.
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- Holding Maisey for the first time.
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- First family picture of the 4 of us.
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- Ben and daddy
We took them back to the hotel and let them eat what they wanted. It took some time for them to stop eating. They were amazed at our drawer full of food. They ate for a couple hours straight. I was afraid they would get ill from eating so much. I have no clue where they were putting all of it. Ben held on to food and wanted to sleep with his bowl, spoon, and whatever he had been eating. If you moved his food, he would have such a panic attack. Yet, he showed signs of that sweet little soul by sharing his food with Maisey (who he’d never met until that day in the Registration Office).
I remember undressing them for the first time. The last pictures we had of Maisey had her looking like any other chubby baby. We were unaware at the time, but it is customary for children to go back to the orphanage while they are waiting for their family to come. Our last report said she weighed 23 pounds while at New Hope, we took off those three snow suits to find a 16 pound two year old. Ben was even worse, at 3 1/2 he weighed in at 23 pounds. Dan and I both cried tears, heartbreaking tears. It’s hard to look at your children knowing just how much they were doing without – both food and love. It’s hard to not be angry knowing that it was the endless paperwork that kept them from you for so long. We later learned Maisey weighed 6 pounds at 6 months. How could your heart not ache for all that they had been through?
As time went on, Ben’s attachment for Dan grew and grew. They were inseparable. We still hadn’t heard Ben speak Chinese or even utter a sound. The end of day 2 had him telling Dan that he loved him and speaking English words like crazy. It wasn’t what we expected. The child we were told was deaf, babbled like crazy from the very beginning and the 3 1/2 year old wouldn’t say a word for the better part of the first 2 days. But soon he was laughing and coming out of his shell – as long as we were in the room. As soon as we left the room to get on the bus or take a taxi, Ben’s fretful little face would come back. I wished I had the words to comfort him and say he was ours forever. To let him know that he was truly our son and just what that meant, but how do you explain family to a child who was abandoned at 9 months and spent almost 3 years in an orphanage?
There were adjustments while we were in China. You travel and you are 12 hours behind and naturally tired. Your children come to you with whatever issues they bring with them from the orphanage as Maisey showed from her bald spot on the back of her head. No matter how well they are cared for, it is still an institution, and institutions are dehumanizing. One of the saddest moments in China was Maisey waking up on the bed, and sitting up with her back to Dan. She sat there and just cried silent, shoulder shaking, tears. Dan still can’t talk about this without getting upset. What he saw was an orphan looking utterly and totally alone, crying out to God. As soon as she saw Dan, she laid her head on him and snuggled. He held her close and rubbed her back and kissed her little head. It was the moment I think she understood she wouldn’t be alone, that Daddy would be there to comfort and protect her. Every little girl needs a daddy and she finally had hers. She never cried those dejected, heart wrenching tears again.
This past year has had many doctor’s appointments. We’ve had wonderful news in the fact that Maisey is not completely deaf. Her speech and her signing has taken off. She is full of information that she loves to share. She even said the prayer last night. I only caught “Dear Heavenly Father….more words, more words, more words….in Jesus name Amen!” But she understood. She counts to 6. She tries to read everything. She is blossoming in so many ways. Her life has been forever changed.
Benjamin’s diagnosis was more complicated than we thought. We are still hoping to do surgery to improve his quality of life. His heart is not fixable at this point but we are hoping to bring his oxygen saturations up. We found out that Ben has ITP and have been watching his platelets for a year. His platelets run anywhere from 18,000 to 40,000. He bruises at the drop of a hat and ends up with marks for something as simple as scratching himself. It has made things more complicated with surgery and it means we have to watch him extra close, but he is doing well. He spells his name. He counts to 11. He loves Mickey, Spiderman, Jake the pirate, and Thomas the Train. We have had the privilege of loving this little boy for a year now. I remember being afraid that he wouldn’t life long enough for me to get to hold him at all and I’ve had 365 wonderful, blessed days.
I’ve spent today, with tears in my eyes, remembering where we were on day one and just how far we’ve come. As Dan said the other day, listening to those two just enjoy every moment of their lives has been so worth it. There have been tears and frustrations, but 80% of the time is filled with joy. People ask why we are adopting again. It’s so hard to explain, it is different than it was with our biological kids. When you take a child out of an orphanage, you understand that it isn’t about being able to do everything. It isn’t about being able to give them everything. It’s about taking a life and showing them what the love of family means. It is about showing them about God and His love for them. It’s about taking a life that had an uncertain, frightening future and giving them hope. It’s knowing you can do more and love more than you even believed possible. It’s been an utterly unbelievable year and I feel blessed to be able to set off on that journey again in another month. I have been blessed in ways I can’t even explain. I wish I could give you a picture of what it means to rescue a child. To really give you a picture of what that joy means. To take a life with very little if any education, no God, no future, no hope, and instead guaranteeing them a life of love from a family that adores them and presenting them with glimpse of an eternity of love with God. Gifts that have no measure, truly priceless, and I got to be a part of it. I am one seriously blessed mama.
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Open Your Eyes
“While not everyone is called to adopt, everyone can get involved through volunteering and sponsoring.” Amy Eldridge, Love Without Boundaries. 10 years ago Amy wanted to help a little boy, with a heart defect that she saw while visiting her daughter’s orphanage, get his much needed surgery. Today LWB helps children in 21 provinces in China with surgery, foster care, education, and nutrition. Love Without Boundaries
“Not all of us are called to the same ministry, but all of us must do something.” Katie Davis, author of Kisses from Katie. At the age of 24, Katie is the mother of 14, lives in Uganda and has a program that sponsors 600 children with education and nutrition. Amazima
“I just kept thinking, ‘if I don’t do something, who will?'” Andrea Pauline, executive director, Musana Community Development Organization. As a college student, Andrea saw the living conditions of the orphans and couldn’t just walk away. She talked the Ugandan government into closing the orphanage down and she took responsibility for those 40 orphans. Today she runs the home for 80 children. Musana Community Development Organization
“It was like God was sitting there saying, ‘There, that’s what I’m asking you. Do you want to do it?” Rob Hill In 2000, the Hills decided to give up everything and stay in China to care for the very least of these. Their mission statement is “To comfort always, to relieve often, and to save sometimes.” New Hope Foundation China
Do these people have some special knowledge that we don’t know? Do they have special gifts and insight that the rest of us just don’t have? Have they been called in ways that we can’t even imagine? Maybe. Or is the bigger truth that they saw a need and decided to fill it. Did they decide to not only listen to God but to follow His lead? The Bible contains over 300 verses about the poor, the widow, the orphan, etc. Do you believe the Bible contains commands or merely suggests? These verses are commanding us to take care of the weak, the fatherless, the widow, the poor, the needy. The Bible states these commands over and over again. What does it mean to “pick up your cross and follow Christ”? Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
Are you paying attention or do you show up on Sunday and maybe even Wednesday night and say hello to God only to forget what He is asking of you throughout the rest of the week? Do you believe that you give your 10% and the rest is taken care of? Do you think that maybe someday you will do something when everything is paid off or you retire or the kids leave home or when life isn’t so hectic? Do you believe by just being a good person that you are doing enough? Well, what is good enough? What is doing enough? What does God expect of you? Believe me when we started to adopt I wasn’t thinking about following God’s mandates in the Bible. I was just following His lead. He said, “Here’s your daughter and son. Go get them.” So I went.
I now feel the need to continue to talk about adoption because my heart was moved. I realized that I didn’t have a clue what was going on in the world around me which means others might not know too. I’m telling you that you would be doing something too if you had seen what I’ve seen. If you traveled half-way around the world to get your child, only to undress them and sob uncontrollably. Crying tears over the fact that he is just so skinny (21 pounds at 3 1/2). Crying tears over the way he won’t talk and is so afraid, but even then he holds your hand and cringes every time you leave the hotel room for fear you are taking him back. Crying tears over the way he ate for hours straight. Tears because his teeth are rotting. Tears because had you not stepped in he would have died alone, in a cold orphanage, with no one to comfort him or care. Tears because when he falls asleep he holds tight to his spoon and a bowl and his food. Tears because he cries if you move his food out of sight. Tears because he climbs in your arms and doesn’t want to be put down because he just wants to be loved. An orphanage is not a home….it’s an institution. There are no loving caregivers tucking him in at night. There are no kisses on the cheek and blankets being pulled up. It is NOT a home! Don’t kid yourself. There are too many children sleeping a couple kids to a bed. There is NOT enough food. There are too many kids that are constantly hungry. There is not enough help to give extra attention. This is our problem. Why? Because God says to care for the fatherless. (If you’d like to know more, grab the book Orphan Justice.)
I have heard……It’s better to be left in an orphanage, in their own country, then to be adopted and taken away to live in a strange place, especially if the child is older. Fact: “out of the 167 million orphans, 120 million will never receive any education whatsoever. About 60% of these orphaned girls will become prostitutes, and 70% of these boys will become criminals by the age of 18. 10-15% of these children will commit suicide before the age of eighteen. Every year, 1.8 million are forced into human trafficking, prostitution, or the pornography industry, and 11 million will die of a preventable or treatable disease. These children have no chance at improvement. While orphans here are struggling, orphans oversees are dying.”
I’ve heard…..Others are stepping up to take care of this problem. Isn’t the church doing something about the orphan problem as is commanded in James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. Fact: Most churches may talk about the “orphan” on Orphan Sunday but many do not openly encourage adoption or fostering. Most do not have programs set up to help families adopt and to encourage and support families. Most just give it lip service once a year. My proof? There are around 125,000 kids waiting to be adopted in the United States and according to The Washington Post, there were over 600,000 women in America waiting to adopt in August 2008. In 2007, there were estimated to be 236 million Christians in the U.S. and still we have an orphan problem. That tells me that, we as Christians, aren’t doing enough. That tells me we aren’t wanting to do the “hard” . We want the perfect little baby. That’s not an orphan problem. That is a fertility problem. We need to care for the orphan. Those hurting and left alone. Those that require a little more attention and a lot more patience. We need to be the hands of Christ.
I have heard…..There is nothing that I can do. I don’t have the money. I don’t have the time. I don’t want to disrupt my perfect life. If only I was older. If only I was younger. Someone else will do something. Fact: There are some that are doing something, but adoptions dropped to the lowest point in 20 years this year. Not enough “someone” else’s are doing something. You don’t have to adopt. I know not everyone is called to adopt, but there are thousands of ways to help. You can sponsor children. You can sponsor surgeries, education, nutrition. I’m telling you that you need to do something and you don’t have to go overseas to help. There is poverty right here in our own country. There are children who go to bed hungry. There are children living on the street. Don’t turn your back. Open your eyes and do something! Pray that God would open your eyes and then pay attention.
Take a moment and really ask yourself the question, “Am I doing something?” I know for years I believed there was nothing I could do, but I am showing you the options. You can do something. Volunteer at a food bank, homeless shelter, mow your widowed neighbors lawn, sponsor a child. I have read stories of people doing great big things and I have been moved, but at the same time I think “I haven’t been called to move to China or Uganda or sell everything and be a missionary.” What can I do sitting in my own home? What could I possibly do that would make a difference? Well, I recently watched a bunch of people come forward for a little boy who needed surgery. Over $100,000 was raised in just a week. Lots of little somethings adding up to one really big something. So I’m telling you, “Do something!” Don’t let another week go by. Don’t say I will do it when…. Do it now. God is commanding you. I am nudging you. You can make a difference. Proverbs 29:7 The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.
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Gracie and Eli update
As of yesterday, Gracie was officially in R.E.M.I.S.S.I.O.N!!!!! A beautiful day to be celebrated for sure. We are praising the Lord that she was born in this day and age where there is a treatment. Gracie asked if I would make her a countdown chain for the 5 years she will have to be on oral chemo drugs. I laughed. Could you imagine that link? 1,825 links might take me a while to make. The truth is no one has a magic date that she will be done. We have to play it by ear. The doctors said five years at the beginning. Now they say at least 3 but probably more. No one knows for sure what to do to ensure that she won’t have another relapse. We will do all that we can to keep her as healthy as we can.
Gracie has reached $1,144 with her Lenten campaign for Love Without Boundaries. I think she might actually hit her goal. I know there are many people holding onto their change until the end of the month. It will be fun to see the final total. Gracie talked at our church this past Sunday and she did wonderfully. It amazes me that she was brave enough to get up there with a microphone and her slideshow and talk about orphans and Love Without Boundaries. She did pretty good for the first time. She has asked to speak at other churches but so far all their answers have been no. That has been pretty discouraging for her. We thought since we knew people at these churches we might have a chance to spread the word about other ways to help orphans and how Love Without Boundaries works. Alas, it wasn’t to be. We explained that we didn’t want the church to sponsor her and that we just wanted people to donate change if they felt led to do so. Unfortunately, we got letters back talking about how they have missionaries and they couldn’t help her. These letters stated that as a church, they choose to do a couple big things really well and not do little things. It makes me wonder if tons of people are asking the church for money or if they don’t want to set a precedent that you can. Who knows?
We are all excited that Eli’s paperwork can finally be brought to China’s attention for review sometime after the 15th of March. It will take a miracle to have them let us adopt four at once. It has never been done, but we are all for precedents being set and miracles happening which show the glory of the Lord. Last night as I was going to sleep I heard Ben saying, “I am going to be Jake (the pirate) and Eli will be Cubby. We are gonna have fun. We play and play.” For those of you who don’t have little ones, there is a new show called Jake and the Neverland Pirates. It is Ben’s favorite. Ben says he is absolutely positively sure that Eli will be coming home with us this time. I just hold my breath. I understand that miracles can happen and God will deserve all the credit for this one, but I also understand not everything works out the way we think it will or hope it will. I just don’t want my little boy’s heart to be broken. We have purposely tried not to speak about Eli very often so as to not get Ben’s hopes up, but Ben will not let us forget. He prays for his didi and he dreams about his didi. He is certain Eli is his didi.
I love how things have lined up for Eli. It has been an amazing journey from the very first time I saw his sweet face. From the very first moment I saw him, I have thought I was his mama. It is so hard to explain that to people. How can you put into words the fact that a mere picture can take your breathe away? That from just seeing that picture you would go to the ends of the earth to protect him and bring him home. That you cry at night because you know he is still in an orphanage, with a heart defect, and you can’t even hold him and make him feel safe? How do you explain that you know, just as surely as if he had grown in your womb, that this child is yours? I hold on to the fact that my heart has been taken over by the sweetest little boy, who I long to hold, and I trust that God has led us to him. Someday soon I hope to be able to share his picture with all of you.
As always, thank you for keeping our children in your prayers. I know that every prayer reaches God’s ear and every prayer helps. We are humbled that you would consider keeping us in your prayers.
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Gracie’s Lenten Project
I realized that I have shared this with friends on Facebook, but not everyone has Facebook. I thought I would share it with my other friends who have been following Gracie’s story over the past year. Gracie has been feeling much better. She is still not in remission, but she has been feeling very good. She continues to take many medications daily, but she always does it without complaining. She has a check up in March and we are hoping that she will reach remission by that time. It’s been 18 months, so we are all ready for that day to get here.
Gracie truly has the most amazing, compassionate heart. She saw the Love Without Boundaries (LWB) Lenten Campaign on my Facebook and decided she wanted to be a part of it.
Gracie has a special place in her heart for orphans and she has her own page on the LWB site to collect donations. She started out wanting to donate the $50 she had been saving for a laptop. With a $7 allowance every two weeks, it took her quite a while to save up that much. I asked her if she was sure and she said, “That they needed it more than she did.” Her goal at the beginning was to raise $100, her $50 plus another $50. Within minutes of posting it on her “Hats for Gracie” Facebook page, a friend of the family, Mary, matched her. Gracie was ecstatic and tried to decide what her goal should be now.
We received an e-mail from Julie at LWB who informed us they had just purchased 20 boxes of formula and it had cost them $1,694. Gracie decided that was going to be her new goal. At the time, she had raised $170. I told her that she had 10% of the amount needed and maybe she was setting her goal a little too high. She then informed me “That she didn’t ask for $1,000,000. Now that would be a lot of money.” She prayed about it over night and decided this was her new goal. As of yesterday, she has raised $1,000 with the help of friends and family.
Watching her feel empowered to help orphans has been a wonderful and amazing thing! If you want to collect your change over the next month and contribute to her Lenten Campaign you can donate directly at http://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com/get-involved/heroes/fundraising-events/gracie-ellsbury/
Thank you for considering helping these adorable babies this Lenten season. If you would like to see some of their sweet faces you can go to the Healing Homes page on LWB’s site. True Children’s Healing Home
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I will keep my eyes on the Lord
If I listen to the words of the world, then I become fearful.
“How will you ever be able to go to church again?” We home churched for years while Codey was sick and Dan was in medical school and residency. Plus, now there are a million different ways to church – books, internet, cable, and the best Christian worship music readily available. I think I’ve got it covered. Keep my eyes on the Lord. Matthew 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
“This is going to be so hard!” First God’s book does not say “Come to this world and take it easy.” He doesn’t hand you travel brochures, say see the world, put your feet up, and ignore what is going on around you. It says, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 Second, I’ve been through hard. I’ve been through years of a child with a trach, on a ventilator, oxygen, pulse oximeter, apnea monitor, g-tube feedings, suction machines along with a toddler, living in a single wide trailer, in a new town, with no family close, no friends and no ability to get out of the house to make friends, husband in medical school, working nights on weekends, no money, no one-low-rate phone plans or cell phones so you can call home. I’ve been through hard and hard was still a blessing. I still had family and a husband who loved and supported me and was my best friend. Life is NOT supposed to be one long vacation. Life is not about what you can acquire. That is not what God calls us to do. If you are comfortable, really comfortable with your life, and nothing every pushes you out of that comfort zone, you have to ask yourself if you are doing enough. Satan whispers, but I keep my eyes on the Lord. Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
“What if more than one child is in the hospital at the same time?” We’ve been there before. I’ll admit it wasn’t fun, but it’s doable. Plus, I have more hands ready and willing to help now. Keep my eyes on the Lord. Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden upon the LORD, and He will sustain you;
“What if you can’t bond or what if you mess up how good your life is now?” Nothing great was ever accomplished without risk, but risking my “perfect” on a child who has no hope – is okay with me. I’ve already bonded. These are my children and I would go to the ends of the earth for them. I will bring them home. I will work day and night if that is what it takes, because they are worth it. They are children of God. Just as I am a child of God. I deserve nothing more than they do. They did not ask to be born and abandoned. They did not ask to be brought into this world and left alone to fend for themselves. They did not choose this life. They are innocent victims of a cruel world, with too much evil in it. I will keep my eyes on the Lord. James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
“What if…..What if…..What if……” Well, what if everything I worry about doesn’t come to be? Which is exactly what happened with the last adoption. What if it turns out so much better than I could ever even imagined? What if my children go from a future that is bleak to a future that is filled with hope and love? What if they can die surrounded by a family that loves them? What if they believe? What if that belief saves them for all of eternity?
So what if my life is more complicated? So what if I can’t pack everyone up and just go shopping? So what if it would take an army for us all to go to the grocery store? So what? My life being a little more complicated is worth watching my children be saved from a life of no hope and presenting them with a life full of hope and opportunity in which they find eternal hope. My comfort zone for the soul of a child. Sounds like a pretty good trade to me.
I will keep my eyes on the Lord!
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Facts that will break your heart
Or at least I hope they break your heart or make you question if you are doing enough or if you could help someone else who is trying to adopt. I hope these facts convict you and make you want to do something. Anything. Believe me I get that everyone isn’t called to adopt, but you can still help. You can still make a difference. You can still do something.
I read these facts in an article which had some pretty staggering statistics. You can read the whole article here. I’ll tell you why…
In this article she talks about the “fact, out of the 167 million orphans, 120 million will never receive any education whatsoever. About 60% of these orphaned girls will become prostitutes, and 70% of these boys will become criminals by the age of 18. 10-15% of these children will commit suicide before the age of eighteen. Every year, 1.8 million are forced into human trafficking, prostitution, or the pornography industry, and 11 million will die of a preventable or treatable disease. These children have no chance at improvement. While orphans here are struggling, orphans oversees are dying.”
This statistics make my heart just hurt. I look at Min and I think about what her life would be if we didn’t adopt her. She has very few options. No education, no wheelchair accessibility, no foster family, no options for jobs, no welfare or disability income available, no affirmative action, all of this equals no hope. My heart hurts when I think about all the others that are still there. All the others who will age out at 14. All the other children who just want a family to love them. I think about Ben and having to die alone and without a family. I think about Maisey who is deaf. What would her options be? You wonder why I continue to talk about this over and over again, this is why. We are talking about a future that would have been my children’s future. The future that is truth for millions upon millions of children. They have so few options. You may not have known the facts before, but if you are reading this, you know them now. What are you going to do about it?
I’m only one. But still, I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something.
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
– Edward Everett HaleThe better question is why aren’t we doing more, especially when these are the facts….
“First, there are around 100,000 orphans in the United States compared to 167 million orphans worldwide. According to The Washington Post, there were over 600,000 women in America waiting to adopt in August of 2008. In other words, if every woman in America adopted one child domestically, there would still be over 500,000 women willing to adopt. However, even if these 500,000 women adopted internationally, there would still be a over 11 million international orphans needing care. Now, think for moment. In 2007, 78.4% of the United States’ population of 302 million considered themselves Christian. James 1:27 commands the Church to care for the widow and the orphan. If less than half of these 236,768,000 American Church members took this command to heart and cared for the child that God had placed in their hearts, there wouldn’t be an orphan problem, in the United States or anywhere else.”
We could fix this problem. We could at least put a huge dent in it. We could reduce the number of orphans in the world and save God’s children. So why aren’t we?!?! Why?
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Eli update
For all those who have been praying for our little ones, I have an update on Eli. I heard yesterday that they are still trying hard to get Eli added to this trip. It would take a miracle, but I know who is in charge and last I heard He was pretty good at that miracle thing. Please continue to pray that we can get him on this trip. It would be so nice to not have to travel again in six months and it would be better for Eli to not have to wait.
I have been hesitant to talk about him because I don’t want to get my hopes up and I have been afraid that something would go wrong. I was afraid if I talked about it and it didn’t happen then what would others think? Recently though, I have been reading through the Bible with the Facebook group (Read through the Bible 2013) and have come across verse after verse talking about how people believed enough in Jesus and the disciple’s healing powers that they would just set people in the street and wait for the miracle (healing) to happen as they were passing by. They believed. I’ve read these verses before, but this time they really touched my heart. I started asking myself do I believe? Do I believe that God can truly do anything?
Acts 5:15 Insomuch that they brought forth the sick into the streets, and laid on beds and couches, that at the least the shadow of Peter passing by might overshadow some of them.
Friends believed so much that they lowered their friends through a roof. Mark 2:1-12
They believed if they just touched Jesus they’d be healed, as in the women who touches the hem of Jesus garment. (Mark 5:24-34).
Verse after verse talks about people believing that if Jesus would just say the word, the dead would rise. (Mark 5:23, Luke 7:11-15, and John 11:38-53).
They believed. They believed. They believed.
I believe. It doesn’t mean I’m not fearful of where this will go, but I BELIEVE! I believe that Eli is my son. I have believed it from the moment I saw his little face in that newsletter and prayed to the Lord in heaven to let Him be mine. I believe it every single day when I hear Ben talk about his didi (little brother). Dan and I purposely choose to not talk about it for fear that the little ones wouldn’t understand. But Ben believes that Eli is his didi. Ben prays for Eli throughout the day. Ben talks about Eli and him playing train and watching Mickey. Ben says, “Eli and I are going to do this…..” and Ben believes it with his whole heart. I can’t explain it. It has to be a God thing.
I tried recently to explain to Ben that we would be getting the three girls but we would have to go back to get Eli. Ben told me “No mama. You bring Eli home.” I keep trying to tell him what is going to happen so he understands but over and over again he tells me that I am wrong and that Eli will be coming home when we travel.
We have been told they will do everything in their power to get him home soon. We have been approved on our homestudy for four. Immigration knows this. The only problem is the CCCWA. They have NEVER, ever approved four at one time before or at least that is what we have been told. Will they understand that our family is unusual and we can do this? I have so much help. I have a husband who specializes in the care of sick babies and works from home during the week. I have a mother and mother-in-law who are both retired and love nothing more than to spend the day with their grandchildren. I have a 20 year old daughter and a 24 year old son who live in an apartment on our property to be close to home and be a part of their younger siblings lives. My 20 year old daughter is specializing in special education and will be a huge help when we start to home school these little ones.
I believe that God has chosen us to be Eli’s parents. I believe that Eli will come home with us on this trip or the next expedited one because he is my son. But I also believe that God performs miracles every day. I believe that God can get it approved so that Eli will come home with us in April. I believe it with my whole heart and on that day I will be praising my God who is a miracle worker! I believe that God will show His great and glorious power and all will see what wonders He can do. I BELIEVE!
John 4:48 Then said Jesus unto him, Except ye see signs and wonders, ye will not believe.
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My children’s hearts
I’m feeling the need to share a little about my children’s hearts. It has become a running joke in our house that we aren’t done and we may never be done adopting. The kids tease me and I laugh. I suppose it’s funny because I have said I was done after each and every child. “No more!” I would say, but then God would tug at our hearts and we would soon have another daughter or son.
Cassie and Zach understand that if something were to happen to Dan and I they would be responsible and they have agreed….whole heartedly. I don’t know many 20ish year olds that would do that. Cassie recently wrote an article for a magazine that I wish I could share. I don’t feel right sharing the whole article, but I can share what she said others have asked her. My friends (Cassie’s friends) would always ask, “Why are you being a part of this?” “Aren’t you tired of helping your family and not having a life?” and my personal favorite, “Why would your parents do this to you?” Cassie goes on to explain how much she loves her siblings. How her family is her and she is her family so she has never felt like her family was doing this to her. She has always felt privileged to be a part of this. She also feels like the luckiest girl on earth when she comes home from school to cheers from Ben and Maisey. “Yay Cassie’s home! Love you Cassie! Yay!” This is followed by huge hugs and kisses. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a cheering squad whenever they walk in the door.
Our whole family has agreed to this journey that we are on. God has called us to love children and we feel honored and blessed. What a huge blessing it has been to trust in God and His plan. We aren’t doing anything to our “other” children. I won’t say there aren’t time issues sometimes or there aren’t disagreements. But every family has those kind of issues. What we do have is a family that loves children. Gracie goes on and on about not stopping at 12 and if anyone should have a problem with our adopting more, you would think it would be the baby of the family. We are blessed in so many ways to be able to do this at this time in our lives. What a gift.
My children’s hearts are wrapped up in orphans and their causes. Their passion is a beautiful thing to watch. Gracie is trying hard to raise money for Love Without Boundaries nutrition program. You can go here Gracie’s Love Without Boundaries page if you’d like to help too. They have big hearts. I’m very proud of their compassionate, caring, God-trusting hearts. I love that about them. They have a faith that I wish I would have had at that age. I can’t wait to see what they do for Christ as their lives go on. As a mother, you can’t ask for anything more than that.
I feel like I’m adding a P.S. or two to my blog. I just wanted to share what Cassie put as her Facebook status today. This shows my girl’s heart.
12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13 And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14 In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish. Matthew 18:12-14
Please notice: it doesn’t say that the Father in heaven is not willing that the rich little ones, the American ones, the happy ones, the ones we like, or the ones who have families, should perish. It says any, the Father is not willing that ANY of His little ones be lost. So who are we, as the Church, to decide who does and doesn’t get saved -gets loved by a family-based on gender, race, ability, or native country? We are the Father’s hands and feet: it’s time we started loving like it.P.S.S. 🙂 Here is a song that Cassie has been listening to a lot. It reminds her to love Ben for as long as she has with her whole heart and not be afraid. If anyone should know about this subject it would be the singer. He has a son with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. You can read their story at Bowen’s heart
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Adoption Information
Here are a couple of events that will help people with adoption, people who have adopted, and people who want to set up adoption and fostering programs in their churches. Please share with anyone you think might want this information.
I believe we are a group of passionate, caring parents. I believe that together we CAN make a difference – one child at a time, one church at a time, one enlightened person at a time. I believe Christians are commanded to help the orphan (James 1:27). I believe most churches aren’t doing enough to spread the word and support those who do foster and adopt. I believe every child deserves a chance at a family. I believe today is a wonderful day to start a movement! I believe with God we can accomplish great things.
www.showhope.org
Chicago, IL – The Chapel – Barrington Campus
April 19-20, 2013Houston, TX – Houston’s First Baptist Church
September 13 &14th, 2013www.summit9.org
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Waiting
As we get closer, it gets harder and harder to wait. This mama longs to hold her children. It’s one thing to wait 9 months knowing that your child is safely nestled and growing within you, but it is completely different waiting to go get them. I hate not knowing if they are afraid, how they are being cared for, not knowing if they are hungry, not knowing how they are on a day to day basis and truth-be-told, I’m not doing well with not knowing. My heart hurts with the waiting.
This song says it all. We have room in our hearts and room in our home. They will be loved for the rest of their days. I thank God every day for bringing me to them.
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