Archive for the ‘Jasmine’s Blog’ Category

• Jasmine’s Blog – I Want to Have a Family

  Date: 2014.10.08 | Category: Jasmine's Blog

  我想要一个家庭

  曾经我许愿说我只有一个愿望我说我只想要一个家庭我真的真的只想要一个家庭．

     然后我又许愿说我伤心的说我真的真的只要一个愿望就是一个自己的家庭。有人关心我，有人爱我，有人喜欢我就可以了·

  我也知道我自己不能去上厕所，我也知道我不能自己去上床睡觉，我知道有好多事情我不能做，我不喜欢别人打我骂我，别人在骂我的时候讲我的时候我觉得好伤心好伤心，有的人说我不能走路很没用听到别人这么说觉得好难受。

  有的时候看到别的孩子被收养我觉得很高兴我真的替他们高兴有时候我会很伤心很伤心，想到自己不可能被收养觉得好难受好难受’

  不过有时候想一想有好心人收养孤儿是非常好的一件事情！

  我真的好害怕自己的年龄到了14岁的时候就没机会了．只怕有人想收养我的时候已经晚了·

  我也不知道会有人收养我这个我真的不知道？

  其实有时候我会尿床，我一尿床就会有人打我的，我太害怕别人打我了。

  我不知道会不会有人要我。

  我也希望有好多孩子被收养不要在这里受苦，有的孩子很害怕，有好多孩子都想被收养，有时候我会说这里根本不是我的家，我想有一个自己的家庭。我不喜欢当孤儿我想有爸爸妈妈他们会爱我关心我就好！

  

  “I Want to Have a Family

  I once made a wish saying “there’s only one thing I want, I just want
  a family, I really really only want to have a family.” Then I made
  another wish, sadly saying “I really really just want one wish, to
  have a family of my own. Just to have people who care about me, people
  who love me, people who like me.”
  I knew I couldn’t go to the restroom by myself. I also knew I couldn’t
  get into bed and go to sleep by myself. I knew there were many things
  I could not do. I didn’t like it when people hit me or yell at me, I
  felt so very sad when people were yelling at me and scolding me. Some
  people said that I was useless since I couldn’t walk. Hearing someone
  say that made me so sad.
  Sometimes I was really happy when I saw other kids being adopted, I
  was truly happy for them. Sometimes, I would be very very sad thinking
  that I would likely never be adopted. I would feel very very bad.
  But sometimes I would think, it’s a very good thing that there are
  kindhearted people who adopt orphans!
  I was really scared that I would not have a chance anymore once I was
  14 years old. I was afraid that when someone wanted to adopt me it
  would already be too late.
  I didn’t know someone would adopt me, this I really didn’t know?
  Actually sometimes I would wet the bed. Whenever I wet the bed I would
  get hit, I was so scared of being hit.  (I will say more about this at the end. – Jasmine’s mom)
  I didn’t know if there would be anyone who wanted me.
  I also hoped lots of kids would be adopted and would not have to keep
  suffering here. Some kids were so afraid, many kids wanted to be
  adopted. Sometimes I would say, “this is not my home, I want to have a
  family of my own.” I didn’t like being an orphan, I just wanted to
  have a baba and mama who would love me and care about me!”

  (Jasmine’s mom’s words)

  At the beginning of her stay in the orphanage, when she was eight years old, Jasmine said the doctors said she should be able to walk.  When she wasn’t able to get out of her wheelchair, the orphanage would leave her food just out of reach thinking she would give up her little charade and walk to the food.  She says she fell out of her chair many times trying to get the food and they would just let her lie there with the same thought in mind – she would have to quit pretending and get up sooner or later.

  They gave her very little to drink throughout the day so she would only use the restroom in the morning and at night.  When there were occasions that the orphanage couldn’t get to her right away, she would wet herself.  This was very embarrassing to her.  As her punishment, the orphanage workers would allow the other children to hit and kick her.  Jasmine said this made her very sad and she began to believe that she was indeed worthless.

  She says she went to school for a year but then they moved the school to a different floor and she was no longer able to go because she couldn’t climb the stairs and there was no elevator.  She says she dreamed of being able to go to school.  She was left in her chair in front of the t.v. for years with nothing to do but dream of having a family.  Six long years of dreaming…

  And then she received a letter written by her daddy telling her how much he loved her and how beautiful he thought she was.  Jasmine says  this was the first glimpse she had that someone could love her.  Dan prayed over and over again for God to let Jasmine know that we loved her and to give her peace while she waited.

  Somehow Jasmine held on to her sweet, loving personality through everything she went through.  We are blessed to be her forever family.

• Jasmine’s Blog – Adoption Day

  Date: 2014.10.04 | Category: Adoption, Jasmine's Blog

  The following post was written by Jasmine in Chinese.  I used Google Translate to translate it.   I have left it as it was translated as much as possible.  I have clarified certain sentences and have italicized them and used paragraphs to set my words apart from Jasmine’s words.  Jasmine has decided to write a blog to let others know what it is like to be adopted and come to America to start a new life.

  

  收养日

  有一天我去贵阳我去见我的新妈妈新爸爸。

  是美国的爸爸妈妈收养了我，我也很高兴我也很害怕因为我从来没有见过美国人我很害怕我不会说英语，但是我也非常的害怕因为我怕我不会走路爸爸妈妈会不要我？我知道不可以自己去上厕所有人对我说如果我去了美国以后还是不能走路的话也许我会再次回到孤儿院让我很害怕真的真的很害怕。

  但是我见到爸爸妈妈姐姐奶奶她们对我笑我也笑妈妈爸爸亲亲我，爸爸妈妈送我一个礼物这个礼物是项链上面写了是家庭，

  我好高兴有爸爸妈妈爷爷奶奶哥哥姐姐妹妹，

  我和爸爸妈妈拍照。

  然后回到酒店然后爸爸妈妈问我想吃什么我说我想吃肯德基

  爸爸妈妈就去卖了然后姐姐给我擦指甲油，指甲油有三种颜色然后我就选择粉色我喜欢粉色然后姐姐就帮我擦了！

  然后爸爸妈妈回来了卖回来了肯德基我喜欢吃肯德基。

  妈妈和姐姐想给我洗澡但是我不知道妈妈和姐姐在说什么

  她们就翻译我就明白了妈妈帮助我洗澡的时候我非常的害怕因为怕我下降我就哭了我真很害怕。姐姐抱着我我就不害怕了觉得自己真的好幸福好！

  我害怕我不会说英语但是我会说的是不，

  但是妈妈爸爸对我真的真的真的好好好！

  我觉得自己是个幸福的孩子。妈妈她说我很美她说的是中文

  她还会我爱你她还会说我是你的妈妈还说他是你的爸爸。

  我很幸福！

  但是我还担心妈妈和爸爸会不要我这事情让很害怕我不想让这种事情再次发生。

  我只希望爸爸妈妈对我好就好了不会不要我我就心满一足了。

  我就会很幸福了！：）

  

  Adoption Day

  One day I went to Guiyang I went to see my new mom new dad.

  American parents adopted me, and I’m glad I’m scared because I had never seen Americans I’m afraid I can not speak English, but I am also very scared because I’m afraid I will not walk Mom and Dad Do not I? (She is afraid if she doesn’t walk we will not want her.) I know not myself go to the bathroom (I can’t even get to the bathroom myself.) Someone said to me that if I went to the United States later still can not walk, then maybe I will once again return to the orphanage so I am very scared really, really scared.

  But my mom and dad to see their sister, grandmother smiled at me and I kiss my mom and dad laugh, Mom and Dad gave me this gift is a gift of necklace inscribed with the words family,

  

  I’m so glad to have mom and dad brother (big) sister (little) sister, grandparents,

  My mom and dad take pictures.

  Then back to the hotel and then mom and dad asked me want to eat what I say I want to eat KFC  (I remember being surprised that she asked for KFC and a coke.  She had seen commercials on t.v. in the orphanage.)

  Mom and Dad go to buy KFC then my sister gave me nail polish, nail polish comes in three colors and then I would choose pink I love pink and my sister to help me rub!

  Then Mom and Dad came back Buy (from KFC) back I like to eat KFC KFC.

  Mother and sister wanted to give me a bath, but I do not know what to say mom and sister

  They would translate my mom helped me to understand a bath when I was very scared because I was afraid I would fall, I started to cry and I am really scared. Sister holding me I do not feel afraid of is really good happy good!   (We had to place her on a stool in a shower because they didn’t have a bath tub. She had no clue what was going on. She was allowed one bath a week at the orphanage where they gave her a bucket and sat her on the floor so the shower felt really, really good.)

  I’m afraid I can not speak English, but I Speak it is not,   (She was afraid her English was not very good.)

  But Mom and Dad told me really really really good good!

  I feel I am a happy child. Mom said I am beautiful. She said that she is Chinese (I told her those four BOLD phrases in Chinese.)

  She also said she would, I love you, I’m your mom said he is your father.

  I am very happy!

  But I also worry that my mom and dad will not let this matter was afraid I do not want this to happen again.   (She was afraid we would decide we didn’t want her and would send her back to the orphanage.)

  (We asked her time and time again if she had any questions. We wanted her to be able to ask the translator/guide anything that she had questions about before we left China. Every day she said she didn’t have any questions. We kept saying there has to be something you are curious about in America. But over and over again she said no. On the very last day she said she had a question. She spoke her words to the translator and tears started running down the translator’s face. Jasmine’s only question, after being with us for almost three weeks in China, was “Will we give her away when we get to America?” She was worried we wouldn’t let her be part of the family.)

  I just hope my mom and dad would not do me good like I heart filled an enough. (She hoped we would think she was good and her heart would be happy enough.)

  I will be very happy! 🙂

  

  After I posted this blog, Yolanda from Love Without Boundaries sent me a corrected version of this blog post.  I am posting it because it shows just how hard it is to translate from Chinese to English, as much is lost in the translation.  This version breaks my heart just a little bit more.  Jasmine was such a brave girl.

  Here is the properly translated version:

  “Adoption Day

  One day I went to Guiyang to meet my new Mama and Baba.

  The Baba and Mama who adopted me are American. I was happy and I was
  scared because I’d never seen an American. I was very scared of not
  knowing how to speak English, but I was also very scared that Baba and
  Mama wouldn’t want me because I don’t know how to walk? I know I can’t
  use the restroom by myself, someone told me that if I still couldn’t
  walk after going to America, I might have to go back to the orphanage.
  I was very scared, really so very scared.

  But I met baba, mama, big sister and grandma, they smiled at me and I
  smiled too. Baba and mama kissed me and gave me a present – a necklace
  with “Family” written on it.

  I was so happy to have baba, mama, grandpa, grandma, big brother, big
  sister and little sister.

  I took photos with baba and mama.

  Then we went back to the hotel, baba and mama asked me what I wanted
  to eat and I said I wanted to eat KFC.

  Baba and mama went and bought it and then big sister painted my nails.
  There were three colours of nail polish, I picked pink because I like
  pink, then big sister helped my put it on!

  Then baba and mama came back with the KFC they bought, I like eating KFC.

  Mama and big sister wanted to give me a shower but I didn’t know what
  they were saying. So they translated and then I understood. When mama
  was helping me shower I was very scared because I was afraid of
  falling, so I cried. I was so scared. Then big sister held me and I
  wasn’t scared anymore. I felt really very blessed!

  I was afraid I didn’t know how to speak English but I knew how to say
  “no”. But mama and baba are really so very good to me!

  I think I am a blessed kid. Mama told me I was very beautiful, she
  said it in Chinese. She also knew how to say “I love you”, “I’m your
  mama” and “he’s your baba”.

  I’m so happy!

  But I’m still worried mama and baba will not want me, this really
  scares me and I don’t want this kind of thing to happen again.

  I only want baba and mama to be good to me, and won’t not want me
  anymore. Then I’ll be perfectly satisfied.

  Then I’ll be very happy!”