Archive for the ‘Adoption’ Category
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Every Child Deserves A Family
I always questioned if I was ready to adopt and then I realized no child is ready to be an orphan. – unknown
Our family has been blessed over and over again by adoption. I realize that not everyone is cut out to have a large family and to many our family looks a little crazy. But if only you could see what I see when I look into the sunroom and see the littles playing so sweetly together. If you could look in the backyard and see Hope riding her scooter, Gracie on her bike, and Jasmine on her powered wheelchair doing laps on the path in our backyard. I hear the laughter and my heart is filled with joy. I see the quiet play and I am content. I am overwhelmed at this family that has been brought together by God and bonded by love. It is truly a beautiful thing. It can be hard and heartbreaking and the lack of sleep can be overwhelming but none of that comes close to what I feel in my heart every day knowing just how blessed I am.
I realize that not everyone is called to adopt, but everyone can do something. You can pray, sponsor, advocate, and help spread the word.
Today my something is to advocate. Both of the little girls we are adopting were found by us on sites where someone else was advocating. I saw Kelly’s picture and my heart was gone. Many, many, many people have been advocating for her. Hundreds of people have commented on my post about getting our PA (preapproval). They have commented over and over again about praying for her.
Today I want to do something for Kelly. I can’t be there with her right now to hold her hand or comfort her as she waits so I want to advocate for her two friends at Agape Family Life House. They have both been written about many times. I have permission to share from another blog, Every Orphan Deserves A Family.
There are many things that have been brought up in the news about international adoption and the issues with it. While many things need to be fixed that doesn’t deter from the fact that many, many children will spend their lives in institutions wanting nothing more than to have a family.
Candy would love to have a family. What a beautiful girl. Could she be your daughter?
You can see a video and read more about Candy here. BLOG ABOUT CANDY
Or maybe God is calling you to a son. Could it be Geno? He ages out very soon and would love to have a family to call his own. He has been praying for his family. Could you be his family?
You can see a video and read more about Geno here. BLOG ABOUT GENO
Prayerfully consider all that the Lord asks of you.
“Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” John 13:17
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Blessed Beyond Belief
I stood outside in the corner of our walking path and cried tears today.
Maybe it’s because the talk I gave this weekend brought so many memories to mind. Maybe it’s because I wish my mama could have been there and I miss her so much. Maybe it’s because we are waiting to hear from sweet Kelly. Maybe it’s because I keep seeing picture after picture on Facebook of children just wanting a family. Maybe it’s because the world is so unfair to so many children and I can do so little.
For whatever reason, the tears came but they didn’t diminish the wonderfulness of what my eyes saw. Happy children playing outside in our big backyard. I remember a couple of years ago when Dan and I were regretting buying the acreage, with all the upkeep and mowing. Regretting the remodeling we did on the house and having spent money that we would have never spent knowing what we know today. My brother, my son, and I (but mostly my brother) put in a 600 foot walking path in our middle acre. It wasn’t getting much use. We hadn’t done the tree and flower planting that we should have. We wondered if God was asking us to sell the house. But selling just didn’t seem right so we stayed and now we know why.
Now the yard is a giant play place where I get to see the little girl who ten short months ago sat on a floor in China raging, pulling out her hair, so unhappy, with us wondering if she could ever be happy and feel loved, run across the open ground with a look of pure joy on her face as the wind whips her hair.
I get to see the little girl who weighed six pounds at six months, thrive! The little girl presented to us as deaf and unworthy, blossom and grow and blow out of the sky any of the limitations I thought she might have. She is so much more than any of the descriptions on paper. She is a fighter and loves with all her heart. She is a beautiful spirit in a tiny, strong, little body. She is smart and pretty and helpful and such a little mama.
And how can I look at Jasmine and not think of where she would be? I watch her speed around the path, hair flowing in the wind, a huge smile on her face, enjoying every moment of freedom that her hot pink powered chair brings her. I want to say slow down and then I remember all the limitations others have placed on her, all the pain, the wounds and scars, and I cheer her on instead.
I look at little Miss Evie. The girl they told us only had a few months left. I’ve had ten months with this beautiful soul. Ten months of love and laughter. There have been tears, fear, and restless nights, but to watch her run and play, to be allowed to be a part of all that is the miracle of her…..I am completely and utterly blown away and so undeserving.
Which is why the tears flowed. Why am I so blessed? Why should I be allowed to call these children mine?
I get to spend time flying kites, getting hugs, and listening to their sweet laughter roll across the wind.
Jasmine is free and happy. Secure in the love of her family.
My older children are happy. We’ve had much to celebrate.
Photo courtesy of Wunderkind Gallery
Benjamin! Where do I even start with Benjamin? Before his surgery he couldn’t run around our sectional without being winded and now he is doing 5, 6, 7, or more laps around the path. You can hear his laughter and his little bell ringing around every corner. Every time he goes past me he yells, “This is so fun mama!” His little legs pedal faster and faster as he zips around the path trying to catch Jasmine and Gracie.
The joy on their faces is unmistakable. Maisey and Ben’s bond grows deeper and stronger with every day that passes.
Then there is the little guy. He is this tiny bundle of rambunctiousness that is just so much FUN! I don’t know what we will find out in May but he is so worth it all. I can’t even explain what it is to watch him run and play. He is the perfect little bundle of boy and my heart overflows with love for him.
Little Lainey secure enough to fall asleep in the sun.
Little Evie running to my arms.
Blessed to have spent over 30 years with the love of my life who shares my dreams.
Standing in awe of the little bundle that started this whole adoption journey. A baby. A gift straight out of no where. Who gets gifts such as these?
Others ask us how can you do this? Aren’t you tired? What were you thinking? What am I thinking?
I.AM.BLESSED!!!!!
That is what I am thinking as I stand there with the tears flowing down my cheeks. Blessed at this family that God has made. Completely and utterly humbled by the God who would allow me such a blessing just because I was obedient to His call. What a gift to be given. How do I do this? How could I not?
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The Choices We Make
On March 29, 2014, I will be giving a talk at a women’s conference. They have asked me to share my story. This is the outline of my talk. I am including it on my blog for ease in others referring back to the video’s, quotes, book, pictures, and links.
Hope made this video for Orphan Sunday this year.
THE CHOICES WE MAKE
“I think a lot of us need to forget about God’s will for my life. God cares more about our response to His Spirit’s leading today, in this moment, than about what we intend to do next year. In fact, the decisions we make next year will be profoundly affected by the degree to which we submit to the Spirit right now, in today’s decisions. – Francis Chan
Main points that I want for them to take away from this talk:
- You always have a choice. The choice to follow God’s lead or just exist.
- Every day that you wake up awards you a new choice and a new chance to do something crazy for God.
- The Holy Spirit leads each and every day. It’s not something you do someday or sometime in the future.
- Adoption shows what being adopted into God’s family means in a very tangible way.
Best choice I ever made? – To believe in God.
The simplest choice – For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God…. Ephesians 2:8
We are not saved by works but God saves us to do His work.
What does following God mean to you?
- Showing up on Sunday
- Participating in small groups/Bible Study
- Tithing
I want you to consider that God wants you to do more:
- God wants us to get uncomfortable.
- God wants you to give more than you even dreamed.
- God wants you to step out in faith.
2nd most important choice – marrying Dan
Recently my son got married and it got Dan and I to thinking what if God stood before us on our wedding day and had a list of everything that we would go through in our marriage? Would we have said “I do”? Would we have signed up for the crazy?
I would like to say that I had always intended to do crazy things for God. That it is was always first and foremost in my mind to follow His lead. That is not the truth though.
How many people in the room have adopted? How many have thought about adopting? How many are here just here because they heard our story and want to see what crazy really looks like? 🙂
National survey by Department of Health & Human Services 2002 (Figures)
- 18.5 million women thought about adopting
- 2.6 million took concrete step towards adopting
- 614,000 actually adopted
- There are approximately 400,000 children in foster care
- Of those 400,000 – 100,000 are waiting to be adopted
- There are approximately 60 million children in orphanages in China
- There are approximately 143 million orphans worldwide
Three thoughts and videos that really changed the way I thought about my life:
1. If you are called to adopt and you don’t go get your child, it is no different than leaving your biological child being half-way around the world.
Depraved Indifference – Eric Ludy
2. God just wants you to do something.
Nobody made a bigger mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.
You don’t have to be Katie Davis or Andrea Kazindra
3. You can’t live your life holding on to the balance beam and slide off at the end of your life and think God is going to say “Well done good and faithful servant.”.
Our story – choices made
Birth of boys – Choice to choose bitterness and anger or trusting God’s plan
Presented with Hope’s life – Choice to choose the easy, the comfortable
- Or choose the “crazy” and the uncomfortable
- Choosing to take a chance that your heart might break
- To have loved is better than to not have loved at all
- Every child deserves the love of a family
- And if a child is going to die, to die in the arms of someone they love
Choosing the safe and comfortable or to follow the spirit when we decided to have another child
- Tubal reversal
- Pregnant first month
- Ruptured vessel
- One tube scarred over – one not even connected
- “Don’t know how we got pregnant.”
A few years later Dan read Max Lucado’s book “Outlive Your Life: You Were Made to Make A Difference”.
Max says, “A few years back, three questions rocked my world. They came from different people in the span of a month.
- Question 1: Had you been a German Christian during World War II, would you have taken a stand against Hitler?
- Question 2: Had you lived in the South during the civil rights conflict, would you have taken a stand against racism?
- Question 3: When your grandchildren discover you lived during a day in which 1.75 billion people were poor and 1 billion were hungry, how will they judge your response?
“I didn’t mind the first two questions. They were hypothetical. I’d like to think I would have taken a stand against Hitler and fought against racism. But those days are gone, and those choices were not mine. But the third question has kept me awake at night. I do live today; so do you. We are given a choice . . . an opportunity to make a big difference during a difficult time. What if we did? What if we rocked the world with hope? Infiltrated all corners with God’s love and life? What if we followed the example of the Jerusalem church? This tiny sect expanded into a world-changing force. We still drink from their wells and eat from their trees of faith. How did they do it? What can we learn from their priorities and passion?”
Dan decides we need to do something.
He says “let’s adopt”
I say, “I’m too old.”
Then I read: Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman in which her daughter asks her, “Is it better for an orphan to have an older mother or no mother at all?”
Choose to proceed with adoption:
- We choose to adopt Maisey (She weighed six pounds at 6 months)
- Agency gives us the option to adopt two.
- Older – never adopting again we should do this
- Hope asks us to adopt a little boy with a heart defect
- Dan nicknames our newest child, Tigger
- Saw Ben – Tigger picture
- Cardiologists say we would be crazy to adopt him
- Knew he was our son
- Followed the Holy Spirits lead
In the middle of it all Gracie was diagnosed with lupus. She starts chemo right before we have to leave for China. Do we proceed? Do we trust? What choice do we have? Our children are on the other side of the world.
Landed back home – I knew right away we were being called to go back again.
- More of the crazy
- Signed up for two – Lainey & Eli
- Presented Evie by Agency – made no sense at all
- Waiting on Eli’s paperwork so we proceeded with Lainey & Evie
- Saw Jasmine’s picture
- Trusted that if God placed that burden on our hearts – He would make a way.
- Petitioned China to adopt three and they said yes!
- Waited for Eli’s papers from June to March
- Trusted beyond a doubt that Eli was our son
- Petitioned China to adopt four
Orphans are easier to ignore before your know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes. – David Platt
When in China we were presented children who were sicker than we had been led to believe.
- Lainey’s rages and autistic behavior
- Evie weighed 13 pounds at 26 months and couldn’t sit unassisted
- Jasmine was not a paraplegic but instead had muscular dystrophy
- The child who was expedited for being so ill, Eli, was actually the healthiest.
Choice to leave them in China or take them home.
The hardest yet most blessed year in my life so far.
- Came home to my mother having a perforated ulcer, a heart attack, quadruple bypass, weeks in the ICU, and ultimately she passed away on Christmas Eve.
- Lainey doesn’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time
- 2 heart surgeries, 4 heart caths, a code and a hospital stay
We had the choice:
- To choose what most consider the American dream to retire early and vacation
- Or to follow God’s lead and do something with the remaining years of our life
What are you doing to help the widow and the fatherless?
There are many ways to help:
- Adopt
- Sponsor
- Foster
- Support others
- Pray
We have chosen to adopt again. Jasmine tested my choices and we decided we can do more. What will your choice be?
Dan texted me this morning to wish me luck and he asked that I share this verse with you.
“Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” – John 13:17
BIBLE VERSES:
“He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” – Ephesians 1:5
…acknowledge the God of your father, and serve Him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. 1 Chronicles 28:9a
Jesus says, “Do not merely listen to the word….Do what it says!” – James 1:22
Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world. – James 1:27
I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you. – John 14:18
Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause- Isaiah 1:17
You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.- Exodus 22:22
QUOTES:
We bend. I bend to sweep crumbs and I bend to wipe vomit and I bend to pick up little ones and wipe away tears… And at the end of these days I bend next to the bed and I ask only that I could bend more, bend lower. Because I serve a Savior who came to be a servant. He lived bent low. And bent down here is where I see His face. He lived, only to die. Could I? Die to self and just break open for love. This Savior, His one purpose to spend Himeself on behalf of messy us. Will I spend myself on behalf of those in front of me? And people say, “Don’t you get tired? and yes, I do. But I’m face to face with Jesus in the dirt, and the more I bend the harder and better and fuller this life gets. And sure, we are tired, but oh we are happy. Because bent down low is where we find fullness of joy.” – Katie J. Davis
“No one can do everything, but everyone can do something” ― Max Lucado, Outlive Your Life: You Were Made to Make A Difference
“May you live in such a way that your death is just the beginning of your life.”― Max Lucado, Outlive Your Life: You Were Made to Make A Difference
“Here’s a salute to a long good life: goodness that outlives the grave. Love that outlasts the final breath. May you live your life in such a way that your death is just the beginning of your life.”― Max Lucado, Outlive Your Life: You Were Made to Make A Difference
“It may take place in a foreign land or it may take place in your backyard, but I believe that we were each created to change the world for someone. To serve someone. To love someone the way Christ first loved us, to spread His light. This is the dream, and it is possible.” – Katie J. Davis
“The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children. And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians. The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left.” – Katie J. Davis
“…because “Mommy” is forever. It’s such a powerful name. Mommy means “I trust you.” Mommy means “you will protect me.” Mommy is for shouting when you need someone dependable and for laughing with when you are excited. Mommy is for crying on and cuddling with when you are sad, or giggling and hiding behind when you are embarrassed. Mommy is the fixer of boo-boos and the mender of broken hearts. Mommy is a comfort place – a safe place. Mommy means “you are mine and I am yours and we are family.” – Katie J. Davis
“If every Christian family in the United States would simply commit to pray and ask God if HE wants to use them to bless a child without a family, well, we’d change the world. If we can get the church to think about adoption not in terms of the desires of adults but in terms of the needs of children, I think we’d see on a much grander scale how God sets the lonely in families.” – Kelly Rosati, Wait No More: One Family’s Amazing Adoption Journey
Radical obedience to Christ is not easy… It’s not comfort, not health, not wealth, and not prosperity in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all these things. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.” – David Platt
“I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what was radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable.” – David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream
“We will not wish we had made more money, acquired more stuff, lived more comfortably, taken more vacations, watched more television, pursued greater retirement, or been more successful in the eyes of this world. Instead, we will wish we had given more of ourselves to living for the day when every nation, tribe, people, and language will bow around the throne and sing the praises of the Savior who delights in radical obedience and the God who deserves eternal worship.” – David Platt
“You and I can choose to continue with business as usual in the Christian life and in the church as a whole, enjoying success based on the standards defined by the culture around us. Or we can take an honest look at the Jesus of the Bible and dare to ask what the consequences might be if we really believed him and really obeyed him.” – David Platt
Orphans are easier to ignore before your know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes. – David Platt
Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that really don’t matter. – Francis Chan, Crazy Love
But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through. – Francis Chan
BOOKS:
Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches – Russell D. Moore
Orphan Justice: How to Care for Orphans Beyond Adopting – Johnny Carr
Crazy Love – Francis Chan
Radical – David Platt
Radical Together – David Platt
The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family – Karyn B. Purvis
Adopting the Hurt Child – Keck and Kupeky
The Mommy Manual – Barbara Curtis
Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox – Jean Macleod
Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child – Holly Van Gulden
Gotcha Day: A Celebration of Adoption – Sheila Temple
The House of Hope – Elizabeth Gifford
Wish You Happy Forever – Jenny Bowen
VIDEOS:
Depraved Indifference – Eric Ludy
LINKS:
International Voice of the Orphan
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Step 3 Complete
There have been some interesting turn of events with the two girls I have written about earlier.
We have received pre-approval for adopting Kelly so step three is completed. There has been a small bump in the road, in that Kelly is deciding whether she wants to be adopted or not. She is fearful about leaving China. She doesn’t want to leave the only family she has ever known at Agape. She has asked for some time to pray about it. We want to honor her wishes even though I do so with a heavy heart.
I have already pictured her here. I know that we could give her a good life, full of love, but she has to want that too. It was easier with Jasmine. Jasmine came from a really bad situation, went to an orphanage where she was cared for but not necessarily loved like family, and was going to age out into a horrible situation. She had been told by the orphanage that the place she would be going to would hit her and not feed her and she would just be left to sit in a corner without a chair. She has shared some information with us this past month that has been beyond heartbreaking. We knew from the scars that cover her body that someone had done her harm, but to hear her confirm what we thought to be true has been horrible. The fact that she is still such a sweet soul is beyond belief. Needless to say, Jasmine was beyond ready to take a chance on our family and all that America had to offer.
Which brings me back to Kelly, it goes to show that there are better ways to care for children who have lost their homes. Institutionalized care, which can be cold and unloving, does nothing to help a child feel secure, cared for, and loved. Foster homes and homes such as Agape Family Life House do their best to make the child feel loved and to provide the very best care that they can. Agape has been Kelly’s home for a very long time and she is fearful about leaving. We want her to want to come to America and be part of our family but we will not force her to come just because we can.
The other part of this situation is when we get to China Kelly has to sign the form agreeing to the adoption. We could pay the fees, travel all the way to China, and she could refuse to sign the papers. We want to be absolutely sure that this is what she wants before we proceed. We are continuing with all the paperwork so that we are ready to proceed if she says yes.
We have decided that no matter what we will adopt again. I would actually like to adopt two again. I think fourteen children has a nice ring to it. 🙂 Partially because when my father-in-law was alive we always talked about the number seven and it’s biblical meaning. Seven is a holy number. It’s one of the reasons we do Operation Christmas Child boxes in groups of seven. It’s a way of honoring my father-in-law and to remember to keep God’s principles in everything we do. I’m sure that will seem funny to lots of people, but it’s always had special meaning to me.
When we talked with our social worker about how many children to list, I asked her if we could list two just in case. Many people have commented on us adopting again and having a baker’s dozen. I like the number 14 much better than 13 though for so many reasons. Our social worker sent me this from a devotional and I think 2014 could be a wonderful year for 14 children. 🙂
2014 is a powerful year of “Double Portion.”
The number “7” means “Perfection.”
The number “14” means “Double Perfection”…a Double Portion!
Isaiah 61:7 “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.”
I must admit I really like that.
The second thing that we learned was that Amanda, the other young woman that I wrote about, has a family looking at her file. They are very interested in adopting her and giving her a chance at family. I pray that Amanda gets her wish of going to college and finally having a family. Here is her video again. They have been showing it on Twentyless.com You can watch the video here Amanda Please join me in praying for this family as they decide and for Amanda as she waits.
There are just so many children who are waiting for families. I would ask you again to pray about where God is leading you in this matter. Do you have an extra room in your house? Do you have extra love? Do you enjoy children? Don’t let the what if’s stop you. What if I can’t raise the money? What if it’s more than we thought it would be? What if ….. God will provide. Please consider what your part in caring for the orphans should be.
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Step Two – COMPLETE!
There are many steps in the adoption process. There are many abbreviations and letters for each step in the process. All of it can be quite confusing and overwhelming. I will try to describe it in a little more detail below.
Today I was feeling anxious and nervous about the whole process. I am excited to share her story but know so many things can still go wrong. Every time I talk about her, it becomes just a little more real. It’s sort of like when you are first pregnant. You are anxious to talk about it but you know so many things can go wrong so you hold onto those feelings, trying to protect your heart from the pain if it doesn’t go as if you hoped. The reality is that you already love this child that you have yet to meet. It won’t really matter if you try to hold back. Your heart is already gone.
I don’t want to be that way. I want to expectantly wait upon the Lord. I recently read a blog about just that fact. (Blog) On this blog she had a George Mueller quote. If you don’t know his story, I highly recommend reading more about him. His faith was astounding.
Step 1 (Finding an Agency) – was covered long ago when we found CCAI as an agency. We have nothing but good things to say about this agency. They have worked with us through our many unusual issues. They have been encouraging and honest and helpful through all six of our adoptions.
Step 1 has been accomplished. I included the file being transferred in this step because the first miracle that had to happen was for the other agency to transfer her file to CCAI. You may not call the transferring of a file a miracle, but I do. Some agencies absolutely will not transfer a file for any reason. We were pleased that they not only transferred it but did it in a very timely manner.
Step 2 (LOI) -Locking in the file of the child you wish to adopt. The agency takes your Letter of Intent (LOI) and other papers and presents them to the China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) and within two weeks the CCCWA will either say yes or no. If they say yes, you receive your pre-approval.
Step 2 was completed today! Praising the Lord for everyone moving very quickly on this matter! You are not supposed to show pictures of the child or talk about them specifically until you receive PA. It is a little different with us because so many people are advocating for her. Her name and pictures are out there. I don’t want to cause any trouble though so I am going to go back through my past blog posts and remove the links and her name specifically. The last thing I want to do is cause a problem with her adoption.
Step 3 (PA) – Pre-approval allows you the privilege of letting the child know you are adopting them. The agency then allows you to send the child pictures of your family, letters, and small gifts. Not all agencies allow it at the point of PA some make you wait until you have Letter of Acceptance (LOA).
Step 4 (1-800A) – This is the initial United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) approval to bring a child into the country. This is the preliminary immigration paperwork. You have to have a final paper 1-800 that will allow a specific child into the country but you have to start with the approval to bring a child to the U.S.
Step 5 (DTC) – Dossier paperwork. There are many different forms in the dossier. You have to notarize these forms and then have them authenticated with the Secretary of State and the Chinese Consulate (all of this depends on which state you live in). You have financial statements, physician’s forms, certified copies of birth certificates, certified copies of marriage certificates, 1-800, a home study, etc. You prepare your dossier, your agency translates and it is sent to China. (Dossier to China – DTC.)
I have actually started these forms and our home study is almost complete. Just waiting on Child Abuse Reports x 9 (anyone over 14 needs one), fingerprinting x 7 (anyone over 18 needs one), Criminal Background Check x 9 (anyone over 14 in the house or who helps watch the children needs one – welcome to the fun Stephanie. Physical Exams x 7 (anyone over 18 needs one).
There’s no time to waste when you only have 150 days left before she ages out. (Breathe Lisa breath!)
Step 6 (LID) – Dossier logged in with the CCCWA. This is also known as LID (Log In Date).
Step 7 (Article 5) – Then your Article 5 is issued which tells the CCCWA that you have permission to bring the child into the United States.
Step 8 (TA) – Travel Approval (TA) the formal invitation from China letting you know that you have permission to travel. You will usually travel within a couple weeks of receiving your Article 5.
Step 9 (Travel) – You will travel to China and within a day or two you will meet your child at the designated area. If you are traveling with a big group, you sometimes meet in Registration Offices or other formal settings. If it is only your family, they sometimes bring the child directly to your hotel room. There are many variables. You then have 24 hours before signing the official adoption papers. You stay in your child’s province until you receive the passport and then travel to Guangzhou.
Step 10 (CA) – Consulate appointment (CA) is where you take the oath to care for your child and get your Visa to enter the U.S. This is at the U.S. embassy in Guangzhou. The final step needed before heading home.
There’s many other little steps when you first apply to your agency. And throughout the adoption process including getting your passport, getting your visa, etc. but these are the big ones.
This journey will be completed one step at a time. We are getting there. As Jasmine keeps reminding me every time she hears me sigh, “God’s got this mama!” The faith of a child is a beautiful thing.
This whole adoption process has been a wonderful thing for Jasmine. It has reinforced what we had to go through to adopt her – all of the paperwork and the fees involved She told me that she couldn’t believe someone would do all of that for her. It’s been good for her to see how hard we fought for her and how much we loved her from the very start.
We can feel all the prayers that are covering us in this process. Just today when we had Codey fingerprinted the police officer went out of his way to type up a letter stating these were the best prints he could officially get. He did two fingerprint cards to try to not have a delay. We heard from another set of parents that there is another agency you can go through and get your prints back in three days. Considering the last time we printed Codey it took over 12 weeks, this is an amazing thing to learn. Even the smallest details are falling into place. We feel watched over and protected. It’s also hard to not feel positive about this all working when so many things just keep falling into place.
150 days folks. Please continue to cover her with prayer. Pray for peace for her heart as she waits. She doesn’t know she has a family and her heart must hurt thinking she is running out of time. Please pray for all of the other children who wait with her. Every child deserves the love of family.
Until the next step…
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A Leap of Faith
If you’ve been following along, you know that it started with me being convicted.
The story has continued with me being shown sign after sign. With us praying and contemplating what Jasmine had asked us to do. It then lead to Dan and I truly asking what it was that was keeping us from adopting again.
I made my list of what was keeping me personally from adopting and each thing was quickly taken care of by God. Each thing big or little was just – G.O.N.E.!!!!! Needless to say, God got my attention.
We’ve prayed and prayed and prayed some more.
Made a list and another list and another list – pros and cons – over and over again.
Prayed some more and then a little bit more for good measure.
We realized that for this to happen God was going to have to be in the details. This would be His story because there is no other way for it to happen. I wasn’t going to write about it and then I thought “You of so little faith. What are you afraid of?”.
I trust God’s plan. I believe fully that this will work. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. Matthew 21:22 Now many people believe this is like having a genie, I don’t believe this will work because I magically asked for it. I believe this will work because I asked and I believe that this is God’s will so I shall receive it.
The first step, getting her file transferred. My husband’s only wish was wanting to stay with our same agency because we have built such a wonderful relationship with them. The other agency is good. It had nothing to do with that. It was all about familiarity. I have tried to get files transferred before and it didn’t happen. Those agencies wouldn’t release them. I even had one agency that told me “Good luck in finding her after her file is released.” We are hoping and praying that they will okay this switch.
As I fretted about whether they would release her file, on Facebook I saw another mom ask which agencies will okay transferring a file of a child. And low and behold, her agency is on the list. They talk about this agency truly wanting what is best for the child.
More waiting and thinking and praying.
Asked myself these questions “Are we setting ourselves up for heartbreak? Can we really get this done in five months? What about our children’s hearts? What about her heart if she finds out she has a family and we can’t get there in time?”
And through the magic of Facebook I read a post from another parent asking others “how fast you can go from no paperwork to travel”. The answer? 3.5 months, 4 months, just under 5 months. Over and over again people told how they did it in under 5 months. We have almost exactly five months. Hallelujah there is hope!
I questioned fingerprinting. Why do we have to do our fingerprints again? Last time it took two months to get Codey’s fingerprints to clear. We don’t have that kind of time.
And by the grace of God, another family tells our social worker how they got their fingerprints expedited and done in days.
I wondered about her. More questions filled my mind. “Would she be a good fit for our family? Did she truly want a family? Does she want to move to the U.S.? Does she like little children? Would she be okay with a big family?”
And more Facebook magic. Someone read my blog and got me added to a group where they were advocating for her. (Thanks Megan!) Where I read about another mom who really wanted to adopt her but couldn’t. I messaged that mom and she put me in touch with people who truly knew this sweet girl and her heart. Which in turn let me talk on the phone with a mama who loves sweet her too and has spent two years with her in China. Which in turn lead to us seeing videos and pictures of her. I truly know more about her than any of the children we have set out to adopt.
God is so good. Ask and He will answer.
I was questioning if this was truly what He wanted us to do. Did He really want us to step up for another round of trust and faith?
It seems that way. Every question has been answered.
This has been mind blowingly amazing.
Sign me up! That is what our family has said. Sign us up for another round of faith and trust. God is good. I trust His plan. His ways are amazing. We are going to try our best and leave the rest in His hands.
This is going to be quite the ride. The paperwork has been started. Please join us on our journey. Please keep us and sweet Kelly in your prayers. It’s gonna take a miracle. To God be the glory. I can see His hand all over this story.
Oh and by the way yesterday, HER.FILE.HAS.BEEN.TRANSFERRED!!!! Step one done. Praising!!!!
We have filed our Letter of Intent (LOI) for this sweet little girl. We would appreciate your prayers as we head out on this journey. I recently posted on Facebook about why we decided to proceed with another aging out older child adoption. Here is why….
First, Jasmine thanks us and tells us how happy she is and she wants to do that for another child. She wants to make another little girl just as happy as she is. (Actually she wants to make six more girls happy but we will start with this one.)
Second, Jasmine shared that in China they had told her that if a family doesn’t come for her before she turns 14 then she will go to a horrible place with very mean people. Those mean people will just leave her in a corner without a (wheel)chair and she would get hit and be hurt and no one would feed her. (Oh to have been able to protect my girl from this pain.)
Third, she shared that she cried the day she got the letter from her daddy. Dan started the letter by saying “To my beautiful daughter”. (Jasmine told me it said pretty daughter, but it actually said beautiful.) Jasmine told me she had always been told how ugly she was and that she read her daddy’s words over and over again and believed them. (I remember Dan worrying over whether the words in that letter were the right words. He so wanted her to know how much he loved her. I love his heart.)
Jasmine informed us that people treated her poorly in China but she thought that was just the way it was supposed to be. She felt like she deserved to be belittled, left alone, and yelled at. She believed that she deserved to sit in her chair and not be allowed to eat with the rest of children, to not be allowed to go to school because she was in a wheelchair and the school was on another floor. She believed that she was not worth any of the things the other children got to do, BUT then she came here. She now sees that she is beautiful inside and out. She sees that family loves her even though her body doesn’t work that way she wishes it would. This is why she is so happy. She has a family that loves her unconditionally.
The pain and the fear and the lack of encouragement and comfort are hard on these children. There are so many children growing up without family. Please consider fostering and adopting or supporting someone who is. The world is full of these hurting souls. I can’t even put into words what Jasmine has brought to our life and this is why we have decided to proceed again for a little girl who may not YET see her worth. We are signing up to comfort her and care for her and love her unconditionally. To tuck her in and hold her hands and help her be the best her that she can be. To pick her up if she falls, to build a strong foundation under her feet, to erase her fears, and to give her what she wants most……A FAMILY!
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Where Has The Time Gone?
One of the first pictures we got of Maisey
An update we received of Benjamin.
Yesterday, was Ben and Maisey’s Gotcha Day. It’s been two years since we first saw their little faces that day in the Registration Office.
First family picture of the 4 of us.
Two years. So much has happened since that day. They have both grown and lost the sadness that surrounded them those first few weeks.
Every time I see these pictures it takes me back to how truly sad they were. They were sad, not because we were new to them, although that may have been a part of it, just sad in general. It was like part of their spirit was just beaten down.
In the hotel room they started to come to life, but every time we left they shut down again – afraid that we might be taking them back. It’s part of the reason I share our story of adoption. I want people to understand how beautiful it is but also just how hard institutional life is on children. Children were meant to be raised in families not institutions.
Ben took to Dan that very first day. He climbed into his daddy’s arms and he never looked back. I wonder about what has happened in a child’s life that they would willingly go to a person that looks so unlike anyone they have ever seen before and just hold on for dear life. He never cried for anyone else. He trusted us from day one and has continued to thrive and grow.
Maisey was the same way. She hung her head and wouldn’t look up. She had a huge bald spot on the back of her head from throwing herself to the floor. It only took a day or so to realize she wasn’t completely deaf. A day of getting at her level and talking to her and she was no longer so frustrated that she needed to throw herself to the floor. Do you know what that does to a mama’s heart? To know that her child wasn’t worth the time for someone to get on their knees and truly to talk to her? Maybe they were just too busy to take the time or maybe they just didn’t care or maybe she wasn’t worth their time. I’ll never know, but what I do know is it wasn’t right and it broke my little girl’s spirit – just a bit.
Holding Maisey for the first time.
I have been blessed from day one with these two. They have added so much to our lives.
They run…
And laugh…
And play pretend…
And rock out….
And love…
Especially Maisey – she loves being the big sister. She’s quite the little mama.
And were the perfect addition to our family.
Look how much they’ve grown.
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Please let me clarify…
Clarifying…it’s one of the things I do well. 🙂 I use the word clarify almost as much as I use the word seriously. That is part of the back story to why my blog is called Seriously Blessed. If you know me very well, you might have even heard a couple Holy Toledo’s too. Don’t ask.
I sometimes think I am explaining things very clearly and then I start to get texts and Facebooks messages. When more than a couple people asked questions, I realized I may not have been as clear as I thought I was. So I will clarify a bit further here and then we will see if there are still questions.
I do believe God is showing us clear signs that we are to adopt an almost aging out child. I do believe there may be more than one more Ellsbury child out there. There have been many more little signs that I didn’t include like yesterdays fortune cookie which was pretty funny.
I do believe God showed me their pictures to show me how many lovely girls there are out there that are running out of time. The odds of us being able to get our paperwork done in time to adopt them is pretty unlikely.
I forget that not everyone who reads my blog has adopted or knows someone who has adopted. You have to start from the very beginning each time you adopt. This is a big sore spot for me. The homestudy has to be done again and it takes a good month. You have to do fingerprinting all over again for the homestudy and then again for the immigration office. It took us 2 months to get Codey’s fingerprints cleared last time. It takes most families a good year to get everything in order from start to finish. I don’t really understand it. It’s not like we haven’t had follow-up home studies all year or that my fingerprints have changed sinced last year. It’s one of the things about adoption and all the bureaucratic red tape that I will never understand. I understand wanting to protect the child but we have been under the microscope for two years now. We aren’t new to the system.
One of the girls has five months. We can try to expedite, but as I said before, it would take a miracle. Not that I don’t believe that God could do it. Obviously, He is in the miracle business. I just believe it may not happen because that may not be His ultimate plan. I want her to have a family. She deserves a family. I want her picture to get out there so others who may be paper ready see her. She was recently added to Reece’s Rainbow so that should help.
The reason we are really praying about this and have talked about it being overly complicated is that we have three children having heart surgeries in the next couple of months. Jasmine needs surgery before the summer is out. Life is definitely complicated.
I have been in this situation before having my heart really touched by a child and having to turn it over to God and just pray. Each and every time a family has found them. My heart has been burdened. I have cried many tears and prayed many prayers. I’ve shared their pictured and hoped a family would choose them. A family did and now I watch them blossom and grow with that new family. I don’t always understand why He burdens our hearts so, but God works in mysterious ways sometimes.
Yes, these girls have touched my heart but I am unsure as to what will ultimately happen. It doesn’t mean we won’t start the paperwork. It doesn’t mean I am saying no. It just means I have no idea what God has planned but I am open to His lead.
Many people have questioned why we are not waiting. I just assumed everyone understood that it takes time. We won’t be adopting in the next month or two. If everything went unbelievably perfect, we would have a good five months before anything happened. We are taking everything into consideration. We are prayerfully considering everything. I shared my story hoping to encourage others about looking for the signs that God sends us. I believe He is saying there is more in store for our family.
That being said if you feel God nudging you in the direction of adoption, don’t let fear stop you. Let Him lead. If God brings you to it, He will get you through it. You have to believe that nothing is impossible. Yes, adoption costs a lot, but I have seen Him provide in amazing ways. Yes, there are unknowns, but the blessings are unbelievable. If God is leading you to a little boy, have I got the sweetest little guy for you to meet. If I believed God was leading us to a toddler, I would have the paperwork started already. This little boy has stolen my heart so much so I didn’t even want to share his picture. Although, he has been seen by thousands of people on the Love Without Boundaries site so I suppose I’m out of luck keeping him a secret. 🙂
Be prepared to have your heart stolen. This little guy is a cutie. Herakles
There are so many children needing families. Pray, contemplate, let God lead, watch for those signs. It’s a pretty amazing journey. I’ll be letting you know what the next signs on this amazing trip are for us. Keep praying!
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Here’s Your Sign!
Many of you have probably seen the Bill Engvall stand-up comedy routine with the line “Here’s your sign!”. Well, my last two days have been full of signs, but these signs were from God. I believe God has a sense of humor and I certainly felt like He was doing His own routine with me. “Here’s your sign, Lisa!”
Now you may or may not believe that God talks to people through other people’s words. You may or may not believe that God cares about the smallest of details, but I do. If you don’t believe in God, then you would just dismiss these as coincidences. I, however, call them God-cidences and many others call them God winks. God is definitely in the details, even the smallest of details. If you pay attention, you just might be surprised at what you hear. “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” – John 10:27
My last blog post was all about being convicted. Jasmine and Grace have been praying hard that our hearts would be open to adopting more children. Jasmine especially wants to adopt girls that are about to age out, just as she was. She has prayed over and over again that we would adopt six more sisters.
If you had asked me if I could handle this four months ago, I would have most likely said no. But now that we are past the six month point and finding our new normal, my answer would be yes. Life is busy, but very nice. Evie and Eli play so well together. Ben and Maisey are best friends. All the littles play together well and try hard to get Lainey to come out of her shell and play. The middles have settled in nicely with school and being more responsible for chores. Cassie has been a huge help with taking a night shift or two with Lainey. Cassie even watches the kids for four hours so Dan and I can have our weekly dates. Zach is soon to wed his sweetheart, Steph, whom the kids love. It’s a darn good life, if I do say so myself.
Because of this new found normal, Dan and I started to pray and really take to heart what Jasmine was asking us. We made a list of what we thought we could handle. The list included: 1.) A girl who was about to age out . 2.) Someone who just needed a break to be able to succeed. 3.) Someone who understood what family meant. 4.) Someone who really wanted a family. 5.) Someone who was kind and loved children. 6.) Someone who needed a surgery that they could get here. 7.) Someone who was open to coming to the U.S. 8.) Someone that others had met and could let us know first hand that the above information was true. and 9.) Someone who knows some English.
We decided to pray about it some more and not actively start to look. It is really hard on your heart to see so many children that just need a family. We talked to everyone in the family and all were on board. My mother-in-law stated that she had a real peace about the whole thing. She said she had seen God work in our lives during the past three years and if He was leading us to it then she was on board.
Later that night, I was up with Lainey. She often wakes up every hour, but it is unusual for her to want to stay up and play. It was 2 a.m. and she had no desire to go back to sleep. I sat beside her while she played and got my phone out to just waste time. On Facebook I saw a little girl named Kelly she was being advocated for by Lifeline and a site I had never seen before.
Now I have seen lots of aging out boys over the past few months and many, many, many cute toddlers, but I have not seen very many, if any, aging out girls. I read her story and it moved me to tears just as Jasmine’s did over a year ago. I wrote down Kelly’s information. I noticed who I would have to contact in the morning and I prayed some more. Later, at closer to 4 a.m. as I was begging Lainey to please go to sleep, I noticed that someone had commented on a shared post about another girl. I read about this girl and cried too.
I started to think about what the odds where that I would read about both these girls and that both these girls fit all 9 of the criteria we had agreed upon. I copied their information in an e-mail and sent it off to my husband to read in the morning. In that e-mail I asked him to look at these two girls and let me know what he thought. In the morning, the e-mail I got back had three little words on it —- “Sign me up!”
I started to contemplate what that would mean. The both age out quickly, one in August and one in October. Could we do this? I know God had shown me miracle after miracle last year, but could it happen again? I was afraid to get my hopes up. I sent out the emails to ask questions about the girls. I sent out emails talking to my social worker about the home study and to our agency to ask them if they thought it was feasible at all. I heard back, “It would take a miracle and everything would have to go perfectly, but it is possible.”
I started to think, “Who has 18 kids?” I mean I tell people we have 12 kids and they look at me as if I have two heads. I spent a lot of time that morning thinking about how many people I knew that had over 12 children. I know lots of families with 10, 11 and 12 children, but only one family with 18. I wrote this post on Facebook that same day.
God has the biggest sense of humor. If you missed my blog or Jasmine’s video, you may not have heard that we (our whole family) feels as if God isn’t done with us in regard to adopting. Jasmine & Gracie asked for six more sisters. We have been praying about it. My thought is who really has 18 kids? That is a really big family. I know of one family, who I deeply respect who has 18 kids and I love following their story, but I haven’t heard of very many more though. Since writing my blog, I have come across 3 other families with 18 children. Today I dropped off my car at the dealership because the emission light came on. Normally I would walk home because it’s only 2 miles, but it is cold and I just didn’t feel like it. The gentlemen who drove me home asked what I did for a living. I said, “A stay-at-home mom”. He asked how many kids we have and we proceeded to talk. He told me his wife was one of 17 children. He went on to say how blessed they were and how wonderful it was to gather together. He also told me about friends of theirs who have 20 children. Ok. Ok. Ok God. I get it. It can be done!
Dan and I decided to take the night and pray about it some more. We would sleep on it and talk in the morning. I woke up thinking, “God, I just want an answer. I want to know that this is the right thing to do for our family. I wanted clarity. I went to talk to Dan, not any clearer than I was the night before.
We started to talk about this in his office downstairs so we wouldn’t be interrupted. The word that kept coming up over and over again was complicated. We watched God unfold in amazing ways last year. We were both talking about whether or not God was asking us to step out in faith again. To trust that He could make it happen. I walked up the stairs thinking “I wish God could just text me and tell me what to do.” I would willing step out in faith and follow Him anywhere. I just want to know that what I am doing is right for our family and this is truly what He is calling us to do.
I took a minute to myself. I decided to check Facebook and just let my mind wander for a bit. The daughter of a friend of mine wrote a message to me and posted it on my timeline. This is a girl I barely know. I’ve met her a few times in her life, but I don’t know her all that well. This is what it said, “I read this prayer this morning and thought of your sweet family. “Lord, complicate my life.” Complications from the Lord require the biggest miracles, which require the biggest prayers, which requires the greatest faith. All of these things also come with the greatest blessings and your family has been filled with a house full of blessings. Blessings that would have been missed out on if you hadn’t been willing to allow God to complicate! Thanks for letting us be a part of your prayers and miracles.”
I took a moment to tell her that it really touched my heart and then later I went back and explained a little of the above. She then told me that she typed and erased this post numerous times because she felt funny saying it to me. I am so happy she listened to God’s prompting.
I ran straight back down and showed Dan. I laughed about God and His handing me a sign. I wondered when I would stop questioning. Would I always doubt? How many more times did He have to show Himself faithful? But then I thought it wasn’t that I didn’t believe God could do this, I just wasn’t sure we should be doing it. I know what the world is going to say. I have had people tell me this is irresponsible, which I find humorous. I can guarantee you we are not entering into any of this lightly. Because the truth is it is irresponsible not to listen to God when you know He is asking you to do something.
Which leads me to my last sign. Our car was finished late in the afternoon on Friday. I wasn’t sure Cassie and Zach would be home before the shop closed at 6 so I called the dealership and asked them to come pick me up. The girl informed me that both drivers were out and she would let me know if they could do it or not. About five minutes later, there was a red pick-up in my drive. She called and I ran out to get in the truck. I asked her why she didn’t call or wait for the other drivers. She informed me that it was so nice out and we lived so close, she just decided to take the boss’ truck and come pick me up. She noticed the bus and laughed about our owning a bus. I told her that we have 12 children, two in wheelchairs, and were hoping to adopt more. She turned to me and said, “I am adopted too. It’s a good thing that you are doing.” It was then that I really paid attention to her beautiful Russian accent. I smiled and told her we have been so blessed. She then informed me…..(wait for it)…..that she was almost 14 and adopted from Russia. She told me that she was one of the “experiments” of adopting older children from Russia 17 years ago. She loves her parents. She loves her life. She was very, very happy. We talked about the hardships of being almost an adult and adopted, but how worth it is was. I asked her how often she goes out to pick people up. She informed me not very often at all. I thanked her for sharing her story with me.
As I have said before, Dan and I have read a lot on the subject. We have talked to people who have had problems. We have done as much information digging as we can. We were once the parents who were too fearful to proceed because of all the horror stories that you hear, BUT Jasmine’s adoption has turned out to be such a beautiful thing. All those worries were for naught. We are prepared to do this again and find out as much information as we can about the child to know that the adoption will be a good fit for our family, because when it works it truly is a beautiful thing.
For now, we are praying about it this weekend. If you are a praying person, please pray for clarity for Dan and I. As for the kids, they have taken their “we can help you so you can adopt” campaign to new levels. Here they are doing the dishes.
It’s a team effort folks. There’s nothing these guys won’t stoop to even scrubbing the floor. 🙂
I love their hearts. They want to share their room, their toys, their clothes, their parents time and their attention. They purposely do all the can to help.
I love my husband for his huge heart. He is truly my soul mate. He is so moved by these little girls too. I am so happy I followed his lead all those years ago about adoption. It was me that was hesitant. He was the one who saw Hope and fell in love despite all the protests from his work colleagues. He has the biggest heart and I am blessed to have been married to him for 29 years.
I truly am blessed to have been able to step out of my comfort zone and complicate my life. God has shown himself faithful in so many ways. I am blessed beyond measure and filled with joy because I stepped out in faith and followed God’s lead. Wouldn’t you want to have a front row seat to that again? I believe if we decide to proceed, that God will make a way. I truly do. He has provided in the most amazing ways over the years. If we proceed and this works, all the glory will go to the Lord!
Please pray for these two girls. I do hope that they will find a family. Life for a child with disabilities in China is very, very hard. I pray that they will have the love and protection of a family that will allow them to become all that they can be.
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Convicted with a capital “C”!
I have been convicted. Yes, you heard that right….CONVICTED! Heck, I’ll even spell it for you. C.O.N.V.I.C.T.E.D!!!!
CONVICT (verb) (v., adj. kuh n-vikt) – 1. to prove or declare guilty 2. to impress with a sense of guilt
Over and over again God has been showing me signs that He is not through with me yet. He’s definitely saying there’s more that I can do. I admit that I argue with Him. I have told Him, “Are you kidding me? Do you see how busy my days are? Do you know how much money we have spent over those two years we were adopting?” But God quietly whispers, “You aren’t listening Lisa.” and I proceed to stomp my foot like a two-year-old. (And no I haven’t lost my mind. I’m not actually hearing those words…He’s just been sending me signs.)
Signs like the Francis Chan balance beam video. Have you seen this video? He talks about us, as Christians, how we start out good, but then life gets hard and we just drop to our knees and hang on to the beam for dear life. We live tidy little lives and then it’s our last day, we slide off the beam, end in our finish stance, throw our arms in the air, a big smile on our face, and expect God to judge our performance. How is He supposed to judge that? (Francis Chan – Balance Beam Video )
We live comfortable lives. We forget about all those that are doing without. Those that God has commanded us to care for and we expect Him to say, “Well done good and faithful servant.”
It’s not enough to just show up on Sunday, tithe your 10%, and live a “good” life. It’s not enough to try not to sin and do a little good every once in a while. It’s not enough to just raise children who will walk in the way. He is asking us to get uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. He is asking us to make it hurt, and not just a little. He is asking us to really dig deep and trust in Him enough to let go of all that makes us comfortable.
The next sign I had was another video by Francis Chan. His fearless video. This video talks about how everyone told him he was crazy to live on $36,000 a year and give everything else away. People tried to tell him he needed more. He needed to protect his children and save for their futures. But Mr. Chan says, “People are crazy to not trust God for everything.” Mr. Chan talks about how going to Africa changed him. He says that he could no longer live extravagantly while others were doing without clean water and the most basic necessities. What Mr. Chan has been able to give away is truly amazing! ( Francis Chan – Fearless Video )
I’m still living a very comfortable life. My cars are older but they run and they are paid for. I even own a bus. Albeit a 1998 bus with rust and 100,000 miles but the fact is I own a bus. I live in a very nice home. I live on three acres and have more than I could ever possibly need. I eat out. I can buy all the food I want. I pack up sacks of stuff to take to Good-Will and still my house is overflowing.
So it’s safe to say, I am not doing enough. I have not given up enough. I am blessed beyond measure and yes, we do give but I think C.S. Lewis says it best. ”I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare…If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us,… they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures excludes them.”
I don’t know what to do about it but I do know God is working on my heart. Every time we order pizza, I wonder if I should be doing it. It’s not a guilty feeling as much as it is a “you can do more with that money” feeling. I don’t want to get to heaven and have regret. I don’t want God to show me the “how your life could have been” recap and have my heart be filled with regrets. I don’t know if you are like me but I have lived safely in the “I am saved, God paid for my sins” way. I don’t have to worry about my sins. I am told to go forward and sin no more when those sins become known to me, but once they are confessed to God, they are wiped clean. That is pretty amazing.
But then what? I’m made as white as snow and get my free pass to heaven and all is ok? Do we really think that God isn’t asking more of us? Do we really think there won’t be some accountability? I used to think just that. I mean the verse says no more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow. But then I really started to think about it. It says God is the judge. There will be accountability. I’ve started to picture it like a movie that God will show me when I enter His gates. A movie of what I could have really done had I given up the comfortable.
I believe we have gotten so used to the comfortable that we do everything we can to not see the hurt that is going on. We don’t read blogs or watch movies or listen to stories that will bring us down. We have lost sight of caring for our neighbors and truly loving one another. I recently read this verse….
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. From time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet and it was distributed to anyone who had need. Acts 34:32-35
Sure, I would sell land if my child needed surgery, but would I do that for a stranger? Would I do that for someone else’s child? I don’t want to be the person that holds on so tight to my possessions that I lose sight of what God is calling me to do. I want to be open to His plan. I do feel he is leading us to do more in the way of adopting. I’m trying to wrap my head around what we can handle, but I know it is more.
I took the time to write down what is really stopping me from adopting? First, coming up with more money. Really? He has already provided for seven adoptions. Seven! And I’m going to question His ability to help us afford more?
Second, I’m really, really busy, but part of why I am so busy is because I refuse to hire help to do the housework. I would much rather be with my kids, but I don’t want anyone else to clean my house? It sounds so prideful and it is. Do I really want to stand in front of God and say, “I would have taken in more girls, but I had to clean? Really? Or better yet leave the house only half-way presentable. It’s clean enough. It’s just not sparkling. Should not having an impeccable house stop me from taking a child out of an orphanage and giving them the love of family?
God has always chosen to speak to me through my children. He did it when we adopted Hope. Zach and Cassie were so adamant and open to taking her in no matter what the outcome. God did it when we adopted Maisey. Cassie had just learned sign and she was so certain we were to adopt Maisey. And then again with Ben, Hope wanted to adopt a little boy with a heart defect. Ben knew that Eli was his didi. Ben prayed daily for Eli. All the girls fell in love with Jasmine. And now it is Jasmine’s turn.
This is the video we secretly took while she talked one night. She does this almost every night. My response has always been, “I’ll pray about it Jasmine.” Now she says, “I’m praying about it. Are you mama?”
What can I possibly say to this? Every day she tells me how happy she is here. So very, very, very happy she says. She tells me she just wants to make more little girls happy and I am convicted. Convicted because I know in my heart I can do more. I can. I have so much love to give. We have a huge house. We have more than enough. We have so many people to love them.
I continue to pray. He has been faithful in so much these past three years. I am absolutely blown away by all that He has done. I am truly blessed by all that I have gotten to be a part of.
What am I going to do, you ask? I’m not sure yet. But for now I wake up to the subtle hints of pictures of bunk beds, and this picture saying family and the number 18, and I pray even more.
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