Archive for March, 2012

• Excitment At Home…

  Date: 2012.03.09 | Category: Uncategorized

  Sorry that I haven’t really updated yet. Mom and Dad’s hotel lost their wifi, so they haven’t been able to email yet. So I thought I would entertain you with what we’ve been up to….

  Grace was cleaning her room today, when she comes and tells me, “I found something…. um….interesting…”. If you know Gracie, you know that this is never a good thing. I go down to her room to find, among her stuffed animals, what I believe to be a dead rodent of some sort. Being the mature, responsible adult that I am, I screamed, ran out of the room, grabbed a bucket, threw it over the rodent and all surrounding toys, and there it will stay until Zach is home to take care of it. Looks like I take after my grandma after all 😉

   

• They Have Landed!!!

  Date: 2012.03.08 | Category: Adoption

  My parents, as of 230 AM our time, have landed safely in Beijing. The weird part is that it was 230 AM here, but 430 PM there. They were exhausted, and finally got to bed around 7 PM, or 5 AM our time. That’s 24 hours since they had left our house. ( I did the math for you. :)) Even though we miss them, I’m glad they went two days early. They are going to the Great Wall and The Forbidden City, plus this allows them to acclimate to the time change before they get the kids.

• They’re going to China!

  Date: 2012.03.07 | Category: Uncategorized

  Hello! This Cassie, and if I can figure out how to work this darn thing, I will be updating you on my momma and daddy’s ‘joyful chaos’ trip.

  For those of you who don’t know, I’m Cassie. (Oh yeah, I already told you that :))  I’m holding down the fort until the reinforcement (aka Zach) gets home on Saturday afternoon. Mom and Dad are sitting in O’Hare as we speak. They flew from DSM to O’Hare, then fly up and over to Beijing. It goes something like this:

   

  

  They will be 13 hours ahead of us when they land, so it will be about 2 AM our time, but around 4 pm the next day their time. It’s very confusing. Thank God for phones with world clocks 🙂 This will be a long flight for them; both on the way there, because they are anxious, and on the way back, because a 14 hour flight with two non-English speaking little ones will be quite interesting. They could definitely use some prayers. Thanks guys!

• What can I say?

  Date: 2012.03.06 | Category: Adoption

  Well, if you truly know me you know I can say a lot.   I do like to talk.  I try not to ramble, but it doesn’t always work.

  Today I feel blessed beyond any measure that I deserve.  Thank you for all the prayers and encouragement.  Thank you for all the offers to help the kids.  Thank you for taking the time to let us all know that you care.  I really, really, really appreciate it as does the rest of the family.

  Thank you so much!  There is no pity in our house tonight.  Feeling nothing but BLESSED!  Thanks to all of you!

  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)

   ⁹ Two are better than one,
  because they have a good return for their labor:
  ¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
  one can help the other up.
  But pity anyone who falls
  and has no one to help them up.

• So close…

  Date: 2012.03.06 | Category: Family Life

  So close to leaving.  15 hours and counting.  Going to go file taxes.  That ought to keep my mind off it for a little bit.  🙂

  Girls are going back and forth between hysterical giggling & talking a hundred miles an hour, to tears and asking me not to go because they will miss me too much.

  Everyone wants us all to be together.  They can’t wait to meet their brother and sister.   Everyone is anxious for the day, but 2 weeks seems like an eternity – which is funny considering it’s been a year of waiting.

  I’m praying for a safe trip for us and for my children at home to be safe & happy until we are all together again.

   

• 2 more days

  Date: 2012.03.04 | Category: Benjamin, Maisey

  We are so close to being able to leave.  I am so ready to hold them.  I hope they are ready for some major mommying.  Dan has been praying for their peace all year.  He prays that God will let them dream about us so they will not be afraid.  I love that Dan thinks about these things.  He continues to melt my heart in ways I think aren’t even possible.  I have loved him for 30 years now.  Just when I think I couldn’t possibly love him any more, I do.  I am so blessed to be able to go on this adventure with him.  The director of the adoption agency called it “joyful chaos”.   We shall soon depart on a joyful chaos adventure.

  My worst fear during this past year has been that Benjamin would not make it through the year and I would not get the chance to hold him.  All I want is a chance to shower him with love, to hold him tight, and  to let him know just how much his little life means.  These fears have been there in the back of my mind. I can’t really say that I am worried.  I know God is in control.  I know God’s timing is perfect.  I know God’s plan is perfect.  But all things work together for good does not mean it will automatically turn out good.   My comfort at this time, is I know that no matter what happens I can go get him.  No matter what I can hold him.  We are just days away.  I know how very sick he is, but we are so close.  His last medical report states that he hasn’t grown at all in the last year, but he has held on so long and is such a little fighter.  I will be able to hold him in just 8 more days.  My heart can hardly stand it.

  Little Maisey, what a sweetheart!  I love that picture of her that we posted earlier.  I can’t wait to see her run and laugh.  I can’t wait for the day when we get to see if she can get hearing aids.  I’m fine no matter what happens, but I want to be able to give her a chance at hearing.  I want to see her do her first sign.  I want to show her just how wonderful she is.   I want to put her in pigtails, to dance around the room with her, to feel her little head on my shoulder, and her hand in my hand.  I want to shower her with my love and tell her about God’s love.

  I hope people can see just how much Dan and I love them already.  I have had so many people look at me like I am crazy.  I’ve had people say, “You know you could be getting close to an empty house right now.”  In reality, that is not the truth because God willing I will never place Codey in a home.  Besides God lead me to my babies and I can’t turn my back on them now.  It would be like taking one of my others kids to China and just leaving them there.  Not even a possibility.  My heart already overflows with the love I have for them and I have yet to touch their sweet faces.  Waiting is so hard.  Every hour just seems to drag by.  I don’t want to leave my other kids, but at the same time I’m so ready to travel.

  I am so very blessed to be able to call these little ones mine.  I love the way God works.  I love the way He can place a picture in front of you and “BAM” your heart is overflowing with love for a child you haven’t even met.  It is the strangest thing and so hard to explain.  God works in ways that are miraculous and mysterious.  I’ve been thinking about Kyle a lot and what God taught me with his death.  Kyle only lived 5 days but his death changed my life in ways that are immeasurable.  He taught me to never take a moment for granted because you don’t know how many moments you have.  He taught me to not hold grudges and to forgive.  He made heaven very real and death not so scary.  He taught me that there is nothing more important than family.   He taught me that no matter how much it hurts,  in time you will heal.  He taught me how to truly have relationship with Christ.   He gave me courage to love, even in the face of death, and that courage allowed me to love Hope and Benjamin.

  Please pray for peace for my babies – both here and there.  Cassie will be posting the pictures I send her and any information that she has on this site.  Only 2 more days…..

• Songs that have touched my heart…

  Date: 2012.03.03 | Category: Adoption

   

• Be there soon…

  Date: 2012.03.03 | Category: Benjamin, Maisey

  Here’s a thought that will make you want to hug your daughters even tighter and thank the Lord that we live in the U.S.A.  I was on a conference call about our trip to China and they were talking about the opportunities we were giving our children. They were thanking us for giving these children with special needs a family.  He was talking about how hard it is for girls in China, but especially hard for girls with disabilities.  He said they almost never get married and usually end up in prostitution.  Have I mentioned lately that I just want to go get my children?  4 more days until we leave.  10 more days until they are legally my children – in reality they have been for a year now….China just hasn’t agreed until now. 🙂

• I’m so excited (music playing)…

  Date: 2012.03.01 | Category: Benjamin, Maisey

  Guess what?!?!?!? I GET TO HOLD MY KIDS IN 11 DAYS!!!!!!! Yes, I’m happy! Yes, I’m saying my words rather loudly. I actually cried when I read the date. My itinerary says – meet with nanny to get your child(ren) on March 12th.

• My Special Children

  Date: 2012.03.01 | Category: Family Life

  I’ve been thinking about this lately.  I post about Gracie, Hope, Codey, Benjamin & Maisey.  I talk a lot about how Kyle’s death affected me.  The truth is I have two other very special children,  Zachary and Cassandra.  Zach and Cassie are exceptional in so many ways.  I was further reminded by an article I read last night.  http://shelby-utica.patch.com/blog_posts/dont-forget-about-mebeing-a-special-needs-sibling   I try my hardest to be there for them and to show them just how special they are. But the reality is they’ve had to grow up watching some pretty hard stuff.  They’ve been there when we’ve called 911.  They know how to do tube feedings.  They understand p.t. and o.t.  They’ve sat through countless doctor appointments and hospital stays.  Their lives have been anything but normal, but I think that is what has made them so exceptional.  I remember people commenting because I wouldn’t let them join the sibling support group at the hospital.  They went one time, but they came home talking about how everyone sat around and complained about how hard it was to have a special needs sibling.  I couldn’t let them do that.  One, because we couldn’t change what Codey’s reality was and two, because what you tell yourself over and over again becomes your reality. If I wake up every morning saying I hate my life, I will hate my life.  They were allowed to be frustrated.  They were allowed to complain, but then we discussed what it was like to be Codey and how privileged they were to have their health and the ability to dream and be whatever they chose to be.

  I know it’s hard to feel like you are in the shadows.  To feel like what you do isn’t as important as someone else or that you don’t matter enough.  Believe me I know.   The kids and I have had discussions about what it is like when everyone always talks about their siblings and their dad.  We have talked about how funny it is when Dan is interviewed and I’m always listed as the wife.  We joke that at least they get their names in the paper or magazine.  I’m married to a man who gets e-mails asking for advice from Turkey, Columbia, China, etc.  Who’s been asked to talk all around the world.  He has a book, writes articles, and most of all saves babies lives (with the help of God).  He has an amazing job and an amazing gift.  I have been at places where people have walked up to him and said, “You are THAT Dan!?!?”  It’s the most hilarious thing because it embarrasses him to no end.  I love that Dan does his work because he wants to make the lives of babies better not because he wants glory or fame.  He tells me constantly that he couldn’t do it without me, but it’s hard when people ask you if you are ever going back to school to do something with your life.  It’s funny because to me I always wanted to be a teacher or a nurse and I get to be both to the most amazing group of kids ever.  I feel like I have done something with my life.

  So today, I will talk about my third born.  Zachary is very bright (like score a 24 on his ACT in 6th grade kind of smart), sweet and kind. The kind of boy who always takes a moment to be with his siblings. The kind of boy who would give up working at EA Sports in Florida to come home and be with his new siblings.  How many 23 year olds do you know that would do that?  Codey grabs him the minute he sees him to say, “Drive, drive hurry.”  because Zach will take him for a ride.  He throws Codey in the car and off they go.  Zach’s only concern when we had Gracie?  That she wouldn’t know him because he was going to college.  He lived near home and drove daily for 4 years to get his degree at Iowa State University in Ames.  He did that because he knows what is important in this life. Gracie and him are extra close to this day for just that reason.  That is not to say he didn’t hang out with friends and spend weekends gaming with his buddies.  He’s still a boy, but he’s just a good kid. He has always put God first and then his family.  Zach has many good qualities but the one I love the most is his love of God.  He just trusts in God’s plan.  He always has.  One of my favorite moments with him was him sitting beside me on the step to our kitchen in our old trailer.  I had just miscarried and I was so sad.  I just sat there weeping with a 3 year old holding my hand.  He hugged me and kissed me.  He then told me how God had a plan and that I just needed to trust it.  I remember calling Dan and crying because my 3 year old was being more mature than I was.  Zach has his faults as we all do, but he is a man of integrity and honor (MOIH).  We have talked about it since he was little and he has grown into that man today.  I love him so.  I couldn’t have even dreamed of a better son.

  Cassandra is joy. There is no other way to describe her over-the-top bubbliness.  She is just plain joy.  She has always been the child who lives in the moment.  She is happy.  She will thank you excitedly for the smallest of gifts.  She has become one of my very best friends.  I love that she still wants to snuggle up and watch a movie with me.  That she will still sit and hold my hand.  We never had that angry teenage daughter/mother stuff.  She has always been a sweet soul.   She gets grief for telling people that “We are adopting.”   They always say “Your parents are adopting.”  But the truth of the matter is WE are all adopting.  If Cassie and Zach hadn’t been on board, we would have had to really consider whether it was right or not.  Dan and I are getting close to 50.  We are bringing 2 more special needs children into our family.  If Cassie hadn’t said that she was willing to parent them if something happened to us, I don’t know what we would have done.  But she was more than willing.  She is so excited about Benjamin and Maisey.  She is a girl with a great big heart.  She tries to do what is best.  She tries to follow God and where He is leading her even when the decisions are hard.  She had to make a really big decision when she was almost a senior.  It was what she believed was right, but it got blown out of proportion and she lost a lot of friends.  She has to deal with the gossip from her decisions to this day, but she does it with grace.  I love that about her.  I can almost guarantee that in high school I would have never had the courage to do what I believed God was telling me to do if it was going to cause discord.  I’m amazed at her strength of character.  She has been criticized many times for being too happy.  I love that about her.  If the most you can ever say wrong about my little girl is that she is too happy, well, then she will have done well.  She is sweet, caring and compassionate.  She is beautiful inside and out.  I love that about her.  I used to dream of one day having a little girl.  She is so much more than I ever dreamed.  And just in case you don’t know, on top of being sweet beyond belief and beautiful, the girl is smart as a whip too.  She won a Belin Blank award for scoring in the top 5% of the ACT too.  🙂