Archive for the ‘Jasmine (Shuang Shuang)’ Category
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HaPpY BirThdAy Jasmine
It’s hard to believe it’s been a year.
A year of so many firsts….
She had her first big birthday party and had no clue what to do with her presents,
but she was beyond thrilled about having her very own cake.
She attended VBS at our church and sang her little heart out, even though she knew very little English.
She got her very first flowers.
And took her very first shopping trip.
She went to the Iowa State Fair.
and her first concert – a Casting Crown’s concert!!!
She couldn’t see the stage from her wheelchair so big sister helped her out.
She discovered she really loves holding babies.
She found her freedom with a hot pink, powered wheelchair on the path in our backyard.
She learned you don’t have to be able to swim to enjoy the pool.
She went to her first Renaissance Fair.
And ate her first turkey leg.
She dressed up as Jasmine for Halloween.
And learned what “trick or treating” was all about.
She went to Disneyland Paris with friends from Spain. (Well, her picture did anyway.)
This family sponsored Jasmine for years and wanted to adopt her.
She received a really wonderful gift in the mail that touched her heart, from the sweetest little girls.
And learned that people all around the world love her, care about her and pray for her.
This was from a blog post on Love Without Boundaries.
(If you don’t know what this organization does, please check them out. They are the reason we found Jasmine. They were advocating for her on their Facebook page and in their blog.)
She got to lead the way on the ice at the engagement party for Zach and Stephanie.
And then be a junior bridesmaid in their wedding.
She was especially excited about the pretty, sparkly dress and having her hair done.
She had her first cake fight.
And learned that she loved baking.
She learned that she was a superhero.
(These capes are made by and adoptive mama, who is funding her adoption. You can get the capes at Justice Gifts on Facebook.)
She learned English like a pro
and finished kindergarten, first and second grade.
She found out just how beautiful she really is.
(She has told us numerous times that she was often told she was ugly and she believed those words until her daddy sent her a letter and told her that he loved her and that she was beautiful and she chose to believe him.)
She learned how much fun having a big sister is.
Big sisters do your hair and make-up.
And how much fun it is to be a big sister.
The littles adore Jasmine, especially Evie.
She met Steven Curtis Chapman at his Glorious Unfolding Tour at Harmony Bible Church.
And Mikeschair at a concert at Rising Sun Church.
And Jonny Diaz was there too!
She even got to meet her favorite you-tube channel make-up artist, Lex, from MadeULook by Lex.
She has learned about God and His love for her. She knows God has a plan for her life. She knows her life has purpose and worth. She knows that she is saved by His grace. She understands that we love and remember Kyle even though he died. She understands through hearing about Kyle’s life that there is a forever future and that brings her great peace. She understands that no matter what happens in her life we will never leave her side. She knows that she has a family forever and she will never be forgotten.
Jasmine attended a Women of Faith conference with my mom before she passed away.
And learned about giving to others who have less.
She helped pack boxes for Operation Christmas Child.
And she had the idea to raise money for a little girl named Emma who sat in an orphanage for months with a broken leg.
And learned that life isn’t always fair when Emma passed away. Jasmine cried many, many tears over little Emma.
She found her very best friend in her little sister Gracie.
And together these two will change the world.
Jasmine talks to Gracie in the middle of the night and shares many secrets with her. One of those secrets was how hungry her and her friends were. Gracie and Jasmine put their little heads together and decided to do something about it. They raised $3,000 towards the nutrition fund at Jasmine’s orphanage. Jasmine learned that you can make a difference.
They dream of the bus they will drive and the children they will adopt. 20 was the last number being thrown around.
She has learned about family and what that really means.
She was in her first Christmas card picture.
And had a picture with the Easter bunny although she had no clue why the person was in an bunny costume.
She went to the local amusement park and got to play dress-up.
She has changed our lives, brightened our days, moved our hearts, and challenged us to do more.
These two little girl’s will get a chance at family because Jasmine wanted to do more.
Jasmine prayed and our hearts were moved.
Jasmine knew instantly that Kelly and Elyse were her sisters.
She says she learned how to be silly when she joined our family.
She says she loves having a big family and lots of people to love.
When I asked her about her favorite moment of the year, she said, “Dancing with Daddy!” I don’t have a video of the time he picked her up and danced around the living room floor with her, but the look on her face brought tears to my eyes. Every little girl wants a daddy who loves her.
Jasmine has learned so much this past year about trust, love, and family; but we have learned just as much about what those words really mean. We have learned to trust God and His plan even when we don’t have all the answers. We see even more clearly how His plan is perfect and how He can use lives to change others. Jasmine is such a blessing and a beautiful addition to our family.
Happy birthday sweet girl!
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Jasmine Flower
“The Flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” – Mulan
I always said I would never adopt an older child. I always said it wouldn’t be a good fit with the family and that was the truth. It is harder to bring an older child into your home and have them accept the ways of your home. Our house can be loud. Our house can be kind of crazy sometimes. Our house is full of love and fun and singing, but life with Codey isn’t the usual. Not many 26 year olds scoot on the floor and growl when they are upset. It was just easier to have a child grow up around him. I worried an older child wouldn’t accept and love him.
I’ve read the stories posted to Facebook of frustrated parents. I read the blogs and other articles. Older children are more set in their ways. They have a belief system in place. They are hardened by all the hard knocks they’ve taken in their lives and it will take lots of work to reach them. They are angry and mad at the world. They have learned institutional behavior. They can steal, lie, and more. They have walls that they have built very high to protect themselves. I wasn’t sure I was up to any of that.
Plus, an older child can call you out on things. An older child can tell you that you are wrong. An older child can say they don’t like you and articulate all the reasons why. They might never accept you. They might resent you. They might never truly accept you as their mother. I knew my heart couldn’t handle that.
Then I saw her face.
And in an instant all those doubts didn’t matter. OUR daughter was half way around the world and we needed to go get her. We couldn’t let her age out in another country. She was no longer an orphan, she was a loved child of this family. In an instant everything changed.
God works that way sometimes. We can be adamant about not doing something and then He shows us how wrong we have been. Jasmine has been through many hard times. She should be a hardened, angry teenager, but she is not. She is a sweet, beautiful soul with a smile that lights up the room.
From the moment we first saw her, she has been smiling. You might not know it by looking at her sitting in her wheelchair, but Jasmine can do very little for herself. If you knock her over, there is nothing she can do about it. We have to move her from place to place. We have to sit her up. We have to dress her. And yet…..she smiled when we had to take her to the bathroom that very first time. She smiled when we had to strip her down and hold her in place on a footstool in the shower. She smiled when I changed her clothes and it didn’t go quite as smoothly as I had hoped. We were strangers and she just trusted me and gave me that very sweet smile.
Recently she admitted that she had been afraid, but in China they had told her she would go to a place where she would be hurt and not fed. She said, at that point, trusting her new mama and daddy didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Can you imagine? You can’t run away. You can’t call someone on the phone for help. You don’t have many, if any choices, so you are just going to trust these two Americans you have never met because it seems like a much better option than what will happen if you stay. What amazing bravery, hope and courage Jasmine had.
Jasmine can be very silly. She likes to take your phone and take silly selfies. You never know what you will find.
Jasmine also shared with me that she wasn’t silly in China. She said she was silly when she met me because I am silly. I will admit that I am pretty silly in life. I love to laugh. I like to make up songs about the most ridiculous things. I like to hear my children laugh. It’s the best sound in the world and I will be as silly as I have to be to get them to laugh. So when I was in China, carrying my new daughter under her arms while Cassie had her knees, trying to get through the smallest bathroom door you’ve ever seen and then strip her down and stand there so she doesn’t fall off….well, what else was there to do but sing a show tune? And Jasmine smiled and then the most beautiful thing happened….she laughed. That very first day she laughed.
But things can steal Jasmine’s smile away and that is really hard on this mama’s heart. When she wakes up shaking because she had a nightmare and starts to tell me the dream and I say, “It’s okay sweetheart. You’re awake now. It’s not real.” and she says, “Yes, it is mommy. It really happened.” and it’s beyond anything you can even imagine. Your heart hurts. It hurts for all the pain she’s had to endure. It hurts because there is nothing you can do about the past. It hurts because her sweet soul didn’t deserve any of it. It hurts because ITS.JUST.NOT.FAIR!!!! It hurts because she was alone for way too long.
I’m thankful that we can be there for her now. Yesterday was another one of those days when she just trusts. They had to put in an i.v. and sedate her for her MRI. Her body is just too contractured for her to lie still in the MRI machine. She tried really hard to do it when we last tried, but she just couldn’t lie still enough. She trusted me when I said it was going to be okay. She trusted me when they put the needle in her hand. She trusted me as they hooked her up to all the monitors. She trusted me as they put the mask on her face and she drifted off to sleep. She fell asleep to my murmured “I love yous” and she trusted that I would be there when she woke up.
For a child who has been abandoned, that is huge. She has told us how they dropped her off with just a picture of her mama. How she sat there waiting for someone to help her. She doesn’t say much more except to say she was very scared. She shares mostly with Gracie after they are tucked in at night. She shares with Gracie because it is Grace who climbs in bed with her when she is afraid. It is Gracie who holds her hand and tells her it is going to be okay before she comes to get us. It is Gracie who she calls best friend. Jasmine has a hard time sharing a lot of the bad things that happened to her. She will tell Gracie but she doesn’t want us to know.
But every once in a while, when we are alone in the car or like last night when everyone else had fallen asleep, she decides to share some things with me. Jasmine told me that it’s good that I’m going to be a mama to 14. I laughed and said, “It is? Why?” She then told me that I make her happy. She said, Mama you are good with kids and you love orphans and that is a very, very good thing. She told me how much she loves me and how happy I make her. She thanked me for saving her and for loving her and for saving and loving Kelly and Elyse before I even got to China. That was the best compliment I have ever received.
She told me how much she loves the other kids, especially Evie, and Gracie is her best friend. She told me she likes when they all tell her good night and they all say “I love you” in the morning. I asked her if she understood Hope’s story? I told her Hopey’s story in the simplest terms that I could. I told her sometimes things happen to us that have nothing to do with us. I asked her if she understood that and she said no. So I asked her if she thought Evie had done anything to be an orphan. She said, “Oh no mama, Evie is wonderful.” I then asked her about Eli, Ben, Maisey, Lainey and even Hope. Jasmine told me that she never understood it before but she does now. She loves America. She loves her big family. She loves her mama and she adores her daddy.
I love her daddy too because he understands that daughters want to be loved by their daddies. He is the kind of daddy who does things like this.
I almost missed out on one of the biggest blessings in my life. I am not overlooking how hard it can be and how much work there is and how horribly it is going to end. I’m not. Life can be and most often is messy. But the blessings of being Jasmine’s mama far outweigh any of those things.
There are many things wrong with international adoptions. There is fraud, the paperwork is neverending, it costs too much and takes too long. The lists you can use for excuses are long. You can spend days thinking of all the reasons why you shouldn’t adopt, but I’m telling you that the blessings you will receive are beyond compare. Don’t let a scary story stop you from following God’s lead. Sometimes jumping in when you are most afraid leads to the biggest blessings of all.
Sometimes the most beautiful flowers, which have bloomed in adversity, make your garden more beautiful than you could have ever imagined.
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Blessed Beyond Belief
I stood outside in the corner of our walking path and cried tears today.
Maybe it’s because the talk I gave this weekend brought so many memories to mind. Maybe it’s because I wish my mama could have been there and I miss her so much. Maybe it’s because we are waiting to hear from sweet Kelly. Maybe it’s because I keep seeing picture after picture on Facebook of children just wanting a family. Maybe it’s because the world is so unfair to so many children and I can do so little.
For whatever reason, the tears came but they didn’t diminish the wonderfulness of what my eyes saw. Happy children playing outside in our big backyard. I remember a couple of years ago when Dan and I were regretting buying the acreage, with all the upkeep and mowing. Regretting the remodeling we did on the house and having spent money that we would have never spent knowing what we know today. My brother, my son, and I (but mostly my brother) put in a 600 foot walking path in our middle acre. It wasn’t getting much use. We hadn’t done the tree and flower planting that we should have. We wondered if God was asking us to sell the house. But selling just didn’t seem right so we stayed and now we know why.
Now the yard is a giant play place where I get to see the little girl who ten short months ago sat on a floor in China raging, pulling out her hair, so unhappy, with us wondering if she could ever be happy and feel loved, run across the open ground with a look of pure joy on her face as the wind whips her hair.
I get to see the little girl who weighed six pounds at six months, thrive! The little girl presented to us as deaf and unworthy, blossom and grow and blow out of the sky any of the limitations I thought she might have. She is so much more than any of the descriptions on paper. She is a fighter and loves with all her heart. She is a beautiful spirit in a tiny, strong, little body. She is smart and pretty and helpful and such a little mama.
And how can I look at Jasmine and not think of where she would be? I watch her speed around the path, hair flowing in the wind, a huge smile on her face, enjoying every moment of freedom that her hot pink powered chair brings her. I want to say slow down and then I remember all the limitations others have placed on her, all the pain, the wounds and scars, and I cheer her on instead.
I look at little Miss Evie. The girl they told us only had a few months left. I’ve had ten months with this beautiful soul. Ten months of love and laughter. There have been tears, fear, and restless nights, but to watch her run and play, to be allowed to be a part of all that is the miracle of her…..I am completely and utterly blown away and so undeserving.
Which is why the tears flowed. Why am I so blessed? Why should I be allowed to call these children mine?
I get to spend time flying kites, getting hugs, and listening to their sweet laughter roll across the wind.
Jasmine is free and happy. Secure in the love of her family.
My older children are happy. We’ve had much to celebrate.
Photo courtesy of Wunderkind Gallery
Benjamin! Where do I even start with Benjamin? Before his surgery he couldn’t run around our sectional without being winded and now he is doing 5, 6, 7, or more laps around the path. You can hear his laughter and his little bell ringing around every corner. Every time he goes past me he yells, “This is so fun mama!” His little legs pedal faster and faster as he zips around the path trying to catch Jasmine and Gracie.
The joy on their faces is unmistakable. Maisey and Ben’s bond grows deeper and stronger with every day that passes.
Then there is the little guy. He is this tiny bundle of rambunctiousness that is just so much FUN! I don’t know what we will find out in May but he is so worth it all. I can’t even explain what it is to watch him run and play. He is the perfect little bundle of boy and my heart overflows with love for him.
Little Lainey secure enough to fall asleep in the sun.
Little Evie running to my arms.
Blessed to have spent over 30 years with the love of my life who shares my dreams.
Standing in awe of the little bundle that started this whole adoption journey. A baby. A gift straight out of no where. Who gets gifts such as these?
Others ask us how can you do this? Aren’t you tired? What were you thinking? What am I thinking?
I.AM.BLESSED!!!!!
That is what I am thinking as I stand there with the tears flowing down my cheeks. Blessed at this family that God has made. Completely and utterly humbled by the God who would allow me such a blessing just because I was obedient to His call. What a gift to be given. How do I do this? How could I not?
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Convicted with a capital “C”!
I have been convicted. Yes, you heard that right….CONVICTED! Heck, I’ll even spell it for you. C.O.N.V.I.C.T.E.D!!!!
CONVICT (verb) (v., adj. kuh n-vikt) – 1. to prove or declare guilty 2. to impress with a sense of guilt
Over and over again God has been showing me signs that He is not through with me yet. He’s definitely saying there’s more that I can do. I admit that I argue with Him. I have told Him, “Are you kidding me? Do you see how busy my days are? Do you know how much money we have spent over those two years we were adopting?” But God quietly whispers, “You aren’t listening Lisa.” and I proceed to stomp my foot like a two-year-old. (And no I haven’t lost my mind. I’m not actually hearing those words…He’s just been sending me signs.)
Signs like the Francis Chan balance beam video. Have you seen this video? He talks about us, as Christians, how we start out good, but then life gets hard and we just drop to our knees and hang on to the beam for dear life. We live tidy little lives and then it’s our last day, we slide off the beam, end in our finish stance, throw our arms in the air, a big smile on our face, and expect God to judge our performance. How is He supposed to judge that? (Francis Chan – Balance Beam Video )
We live comfortable lives. We forget about all those that are doing without. Those that God has commanded us to care for and we expect Him to say, “Well done good and faithful servant.”
It’s not enough to just show up on Sunday, tithe your 10%, and live a “good” life. It’s not enough to try not to sin and do a little good every once in a while. It’s not enough to just raise children who will walk in the way. He is asking us to get uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. He is asking us to make it hurt, and not just a little. He is asking us to really dig deep and trust in Him enough to let go of all that makes us comfortable.
The next sign I had was another video by Francis Chan. His fearless video. This video talks about how everyone told him he was crazy to live on $36,000 a year and give everything else away. People tried to tell him he needed more. He needed to protect his children and save for their futures. But Mr. Chan says, “People are crazy to not trust God for everything.” Mr. Chan talks about how going to Africa changed him. He says that he could no longer live extravagantly while others were doing without clean water and the most basic necessities. What Mr. Chan has been able to give away is truly amazing! ( Francis Chan – Fearless Video )
I’m still living a very comfortable life. My cars are older but they run and they are paid for. I even own a bus. Albeit a 1998 bus with rust and 100,000 miles but the fact is I own a bus. I live in a very nice home. I live on three acres and have more than I could ever possibly need. I eat out. I can buy all the food I want. I pack up sacks of stuff to take to Good-Will and still my house is overflowing.
So it’s safe to say, I am not doing enough. I have not given up enough. I am blessed beyond measure and yes, we do give but I think C.S. Lewis says it best. ”I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare…If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us,… they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures excludes them.”
I don’t know what to do about it but I do know God is working on my heart. Every time we order pizza, I wonder if I should be doing it. It’s not a guilty feeling as much as it is a “you can do more with that money” feeling. I don’t want to get to heaven and have regret. I don’t want God to show me the “how your life could have been” recap and have my heart be filled with regrets. I don’t know if you are like me but I have lived safely in the “I am saved, God paid for my sins” way. I don’t have to worry about my sins. I am told to go forward and sin no more when those sins become known to me, but once they are confessed to God, they are wiped clean. That is pretty amazing.
But then what? I’m made as white as snow and get my free pass to heaven and all is ok? Do we really think that God isn’t asking more of us? Do we really think there won’t be some accountability? I used to think just that. I mean the verse says no more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow. But then I really started to think about it. It says God is the judge. There will be accountability. I’ve started to picture it like a movie that God will show me when I enter His gates. A movie of what I could have really done had I given up the comfortable.
I believe we have gotten so used to the comfortable that we do everything we can to not see the hurt that is going on. We don’t read blogs or watch movies or listen to stories that will bring us down. We have lost sight of caring for our neighbors and truly loving one another. I recently read this verse….
All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. From time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet and it was distributed to anyone who had need. Acts 34:32-35
Sure, I would sell land if my child needed surgery, but would I do that for a stranger? Would I do that for someone else’s child? I don’t want to be the person that holds on so tight to my possessions that I lose sight of what God is calling me to do. I want to be open to His plan. I do feel he is leading us to do more in the way of adopting. I’m trying to wrap my head around what we can handle, but I know it is more.
I took the time to write down what is really stopping me from adopting? First, coming up with more money. Really? He has already provided for seven adoptions. Seven! And I’m going to question His ability to help us afford more?
Second, I’m really, really busy, but part of why I am so busy is because I refuse to hire help to do the housework. I would much rather be with my kids, but I don’t want anyone else to clean my house? It sounds so prideful and it is. Do I really want to stand in front of God and say, “I would have taken in more girls, but I had to clean? Really? Or better yet leave the house only half-way presentable. It’s clean enough. It’s just not sparkling. Should not having an impeccable house stop me from taking a child out of an orphanage and giving them the love of family?
God has always chosen to speak to me through my children. He did it when we adopted Hope. Zach and Cassie were so adamant and open to taking her in no matter what the outcome. God did it when we adopted Maisey. Cassie had just learned sign and she was so certain we were to adopt Maisey. And then again with Ben, Hope wanted to adopt a little boy with a heart defect. Ben knew that Eli was his didi. Ben prayed daily for Eli. All the girls fell in love with Jasmine. And now it is Jasmine’s turn.
This is the video we secretly took while she talked one night. She does this almost every night. My response has always been, “I’ll pray about it Jasmine.” Now she says, “I’m praying about it. Are you mama?”
What can I possibly say to this? Every day she tells me how happy she is here. So very, very, very happy she says. She tells me she just wants to make more little girls happy and I am convicted. Convicted because I know in my heart I can do more. I can. I have so much love to give. We have a huge house. We have more than enough. We have so many people to love them.
I continue to pray. He has been faithful in so much these past three years. I am absolutely blown away by all that He has done. I am truly blessed by all that I have gotten to be a part of.
What am I going to do, you ask? I’m not sure yet. But for now I wake up to the subtle hints of pictures of bunk beds, and this picture saying family and the number 18, and I pray even more.
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The Beauty admist the Pain
But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasure, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. — C.S. Lewis
God’s megaphone has beat me up along side the head and I haven’t a clue what to do about it. My heart hurts. The more time I spend with Jasmine the more my heart hurts for all the children living in orphanages that will age out. Every day someone or some organization posts a picture of a child, a beautiful child, that will age out in months. They are pleading to all their friends to share the pictures. They are hoping and praying that somewhere out there is this child’s forever family. Unfortunately, it seems like most of the time, the world is not listening.
There are so many children that will spend their lives in institutions because no one steps up to take them. So many children who will be released to the street with no family, minimal education, and little or no life skills. Many of these children right here in our own country will turn 18, get a few dollars, and be on their own. These children may need a little bit of help or a lot of help, but one thing is the same for all of them. They are all children with no one to turn to.
I often wonder why aren’t more people stepping up to help? I believe part of the problem is because people are afraid of all the horror stories they have seen in the news. The wonderful stories aren’t making the front page or the evening news. So people believe that the horror stories are the norm. These people are afraid of the disruptions these children will bring to their family. They are afraid of the unknowns. They are afraid of failing or not being enough. I know these feelings. I once was overwhelmed by them. I once closed my eyes to the need because I was fearful.
Because of this fear, Dan and I had chosen not to adopt an older child. We had a long list of reasons why. An older child would be harder to integrate into our family. They posed a bigger risk to the littler kids. An older child would have a harder time with language. They would be harder to bond with. An older child comes with more emotional baggage. An older child could run away. The reasons went on and on and on and on.
BUT we were so wrong. Jasmine is a beautiful soul. I keep waiting for things to change but it hasn’t. Even in times of stress, she is still the same loveable girl. Most of the time Jasmine has a smile on her face. She loves life even though her life hasn’t always been easy. Jasmine has gone through so much. She has started to share things about her childhood that are unbelievably heartbreaking. We know these stories are true because Jasmine has many, many scars to show for it. Jasmine was abandoned when she was eight, when she needed family the most. She spent six years in an orphanage where they weren’t able to move her. She couldn’t go to school because they couldn’t carry her down the flight of stairs to the schoolroom. She spent years sitting in a wheelchair watching others have fun. You would think she would be an angry teenager but she isn’t.
Jasmine may be physically unable to do many things but mentally she is very, very bright. She has picked up on English so quickly. The other day I jokingly told Stephanie that Maisey could do everyone’s make-up for the wedding. Here is a picture of Maisey after she did her own make-up.
The next morning Jasmine asked me, “Mama, you no really mean Maisey can do my make-up for Zachy’s wedding? I no really like that. You being silly right, mama?” That is a pretty good grasp of the English language after only 7 months. Jasmine is bright and funny and all girl. She loves pink and pretty dresses and watching wedding shows. She loves to do her makeup and go shopping.
Jasmine needs surgery to correct the curve in her spine, but Jasmine has chosen not to have surgery until after the wedding. She wants to dress up like a princess and see Zachary get married. After speaking with her doctors, we got the okay to hold off a couple of months so she could wear her dress and participate fully in the wedding.
After we got the okay from the doctors, we took her shopping for the perfect princess dress. It was one of the best days I have ever spent shopping. The joy on her face as she picked out frilly, sparkly, sequined, rhinestoned dresses was priceless. We had tried on a few at the first store and none were to her liking. We headed to Deb’s and picked out six more to try. The first one she didn’t like. The second one was a strapless gown with a rhinestone belt. It was made for Jasmine. Elastic in the back that I can easily take in. No shoulder straps to get in the way. It had a frilly skirt with lots of layers, that lovely rhinestone belt, and glitter that got everywhere. She put in on and smiled so big. She said she felt like a princess. She refused to try on another dress. Watching shy Jasmine become self-assured Jasmine was a wonderful thing. She knew it was the right dress. She not only felt pretty she knew she was pretty. (I promised her I would not share a picture until the wedding day.)
She started talking hairdos with Cassie and what shoes she would wear. Could she take her new hot pink wheelchair? What necklace and bracelet should she wear? She so wants to be just like every other little girl. But she’s not like every other girl and Jasmine knows this. Lately, Jasmine has been asking a lot of hard questions.
Questions like:
“Will someone ever want to marry me mama?”
“Will I ever be able to have babies?”
“Will they let someone like me adopt?”
“Can I go to college with Gracie?”
“Am I pretty?”
“Am I going to get sick?”
“Will I be like nana?”
I tell her what I tell all my children. Only God knows your future. Only God knows the number of your days. Only God knows if you’ll get married. Only God knows how many children you will be blessed with. Only God knows.
Your job is to:
Learn as much as you possibly can.
Be content with what you have.
Trust in God.
Memorize those verses that show God’s promises for the hard times.
Be as kind as you possibly can.
Do the best that you can at what God has called you to do.
Love others.
And leave the rest to God.
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:27
Jasmine understands God. I am amazed by that. We’ve had long conversations about Him.
One of the most interesting stories was when we were discussing her being in the orphanage and wanting a family so much. She said she would say over and over again in her head “Please send me a mama and a baba.” She said she would say it quietly in her head many times a day . One day I asked her, “Jasmine who were you talking to when you were pleading for a mama and a baba?” She sat there for a minute and then got all excited and said, “Mama, I was praying to God. I just didn’t know His name yet.”
She is a bright girl. I don’t know what the future holds for her except that she will be loved by many, many people and she will never be alone. Yes, life with Jasmine is hard physically. There are many things that I have to do for her each and every day. Jasmine’s future is uncertain. Things at some point are going to get very, very hard and my heart is going to hurt, BUT the good so outweighs the bad.
I am taking the time to share Jasmine’s story in hope that one person lets go of their fear. One less is a beautiful thing. One more child in a loving home. One more child with a future and a hope. That is what I want you to take away from this. If God’s megaphone is calling you, if He is nudging you along, if you know He is saying, “Look at this older child.” Don’t completely rule it out. Pray and get as much information as you can. Try hosting a child through Project 143 or Rainbow Kids.
Look at children you can get information about domestically and internationally. Love Without Boundaries is a perfect example of an international organization that advocates for older children. That is how we found out about Jasmine, because they were advocating for her on their Facebook page. There are many, many organizations that can give you information from people who have personally met these children. People who have spent time with the children. People who are advocating for these children because they know what special souls they are.
Many of you may have heard the story of Davion, a 16 year old boy who went in front of a church and pleaded for a family. (NY Daily News) His story went nationwide and many people came forward to inquire about adopting him. Many more people started to look into fostering children or adopting older children. If you were moved by his story, don’t let it end there. Look into it. See what you can do. There are many older couples who are choosing to be foster parents instead of settling into a life of quiet retirement. I love reading their stories. (NY Times)
God’s been talking to me through my pain. I know He is asking something of me, I just don’t have it all figured out yet. Step one was to share this information. There is so much beauty admist the pain. Don’t let the pain frighten you away. Let that pain move you to do more, be more, love more. God has big plans for some of you out there I just know it. Praying that He leads you and that your heart is open to listen and that you will respond to His call.
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Good Samaritan Moment
Please don’t just scroll down or skip this blog post. Please take a moment and read about Emma and her story.
Every day we are confronted with the hard.
Every day we see injustice and people hurting.
Every day we have the opportunity to help, to step up, and be a Good Samaritan.
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself, “Which type of person am I?”. The person who crosses to the other side of the street or the person who bends down low to help? As a Christian, we are called to help. We are called to share our plenty.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4
But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 1 John 3:17
Most days we choose to close our eyes, to not read the sad stories. We scroll right on past the story with the little girl hurting. It’s easier to watch the video of the Christmas Jammies. We share that video making it go viral, but we avoid the stories of pain not wanting to damper our moods during the holiday season.
We have tried over and over again to explain to Jasmine what Love Without Boundaries is. We try to explain it to her because it is such a big part of her story. We showed Jasmine her picture yesterday on their site where LWB was celebrating all the children who found forever families. We have explained to her that we were reading the story on their “Featured Child” post and saw her face. LWB was advocating for her because she was about to run out of time. We saw her face. We fell in love. I literally cried tears when I saw her face. We were NOT going to adopt older children. We were already matched with two little girls. Jasmine did not fit into the plans that we had made for our lives, but here we were with our hearts hurting for a little girl half way around the world.
So we show Jasmine the stories on LWB. We show her so she can understand what a miracle it is that God brought us to her. We celebrate with her the children that find families. We cry for those that are trying hard to find their forever families. We pray for the children going into surgery. We cry for the children who die before they were chosen. We talk about what the orphanage was like. We talk about what she felt like waiting. Jasmine knew what family was. She was abandoned right before her eighth birthday. Jasmine knows what it means to sit in an orphanage hurting.
Yesterday LWB shared a story of a little girl named Emma. She is four years old. She has been sitting in an orphanage with a broken leg for months. BUT she doesn’t just have a broken leg. She has a compound fracture, which means there is a bone protruding out of her leg. Let me repeat this SHE IS FOUR. You can discuss who should be caring for her. You can discuss who let her down. You can discuss it being Christmas and money is tight. You can even ignore all of this, but while you do Emma is on the side of the road hurting. Can you even fathom the pain? Let me add to this that they don’t hand out Tylenol or ibuprofen like we do here in the states. There is NO pain control. She is four and she is hurting. Someone brought this little girl’s story to LWB and begged for help. In essence, Emma is on the side of the street, hurting by no fault of her own, and people are walking by.
Have you ever read the story of the Good Samaritan? I mean really read the story? The people who should have helped, passed him on the road. The priest and the Levite passed on the other side of the road. They didn’t just not see him. They crossed to the other side. Men who should have known better. But one man stops. He not only stops, but he puts the hurting man on his donkey. He takes the injured man to the Inn and the Samaritan pays for the hurting man to stay there.
Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. We ask for qualifiers. Who do we have to help? Who is our brother? Who is our neighbor? But Jesus says, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” Luke 10:36
He brings it back to us. We are supposed to be the neighbor. We are supposed to help. Jasmine heard the story and said, “I want to help her mama.” Jasmine asked her brothers and sisters to give up some things for Christmas. I woke up this morning with Emma on my heart. It is 4 a.m. I’ve had a hard couple of days. I would much rather be sleeping, but I felt prompted to write this for Jasmine. She wants to help Emma. So I decided to write this blog and then I opened the LWB page, I clicked on the donate here button, and I donated in honor of Jasmine. My little girl who when asked what she wants for Christmas responds with, “I no want nothing mama. I ask for a family. I have a family. I have love.” Jasmine gets it. She’s been here seven months and she gets what is really important.
So I ask, “Who could you do the same thing for? Who doesn’t really need another tie or sweater or oven mitt? Who could you donate $20 dollars in the name of? Who could you bless with the gift of helping Emma and thereby bestow the label “Good Samaritan” on? Whose day would that make?”
I’ve seen it happen over and over again. A story really touches people and people give. Let’s do this for Emma. I mean really….look at this face. Let’s send a little Christmas cheer to a hurting girl half-way around the world. LWB – Emma’s Story
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Thankful for…
A little boy that did better than anyone expected. (Today he has walked down the halls, had his chest tubes and i.v.’s taken out, and even smiled. UNBELIEVABLE!)
A little girl that we were told was deaf but can hear enough to dance to the music.
A little girl who now understands love and has learned how to give kisses.
A little boy that has blossomed and grown.
Exciting proposals and new additions to the family.
Family that becomes best friends.
People coming together to help others.
Shaved little heads that now hold enough hair for big sister to do a silly hairdo.
Siblings that get opportunities to make great memories together. (Hope loves special effects make-up. Cassie took her to be a zombie extra in a local movie.)
Big siblings that love their siblings enough to take care of them when mommy and daddy have to be gone with someone who is sick.
Husbands who support you, dream with you, love you, and make you laugh for more than 29 years.
Friends, family and others who encourage, support and pray for you.
Meeting people who have majorly changed your lives. (Maria’s Big House of Hope, New Hope Foundation and the Chapman’s daughters words that made me rethink being too old to adopt.)
Thankful, blessed, grateful, overwhelmed, and humbled – all these and more.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!
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Mama, you can love more!
Those are the words that Jasmine said to me one evening as we were getting ready for bed. I was curious as to how I could love more and asked her about it. Jasmine then informed me that “Yes, you can love more sisters.” This brought a smile to my face and being curious I asked her, “How many more sisters could I love Jasmine?” Oh, two mei mei and two jie jie mama. I have room my room.” I smiled at her, loving her for her big heart and said, “Could we wait until the kids’ surgeries are done Jasmine? Could we take some time and pray about it?”. To which she replied, “Oh yes mama, I pray.”
This story very accurately shows Jasmine’s heart. From the moment we got her, it has been almost all smiles. Her smile lights up the room. We worried about her because she didn’t seem to be sad about leaving the orphanage. Shouldn’t she have been sad about leaving her friends? The language barrier makes it difficult to figure out what she was really feeling so we worried we might be missing something. Jasmine was told by the orphanage workers and even our guides to be a good girl, to not make any problems, to be happy, to not be naughty, etc. Over and over again people said these words to her. We actually made it a point to have the guide tell her that no matter what happened we would love her. No matter how sick she got, no matter how naughty she was, no matter what….we would always love her and she would always have a home.
While in China, we asked our many different guides to ask her if she had any questions for us. Over and over again she would shake her head no. Dan and I were curious as to why she didn’t question anything. We’d ask her if she wanted to know about our house or our family and she would just say “No!”. It wasn’t until the very last day that she said she had a question. We knew it was going to be a tough question because as soon as Jasmine asked it our guide started to cry. Jasmine’s question was “Can anyone take me from my family when we get to America?” That is the only question she had. We wondered why she would ask that? What had happened when she was 7? Did her family abandon her? Did an elder family member decide she was cursed, take her, and leave her somewhere? Did they abandon her for medical reasons?
Imagine being almost 14 years old, completely unable to care for yourself, and trusting this family, whom you’ve just met, to take you to another country. I can’t even imagine. Jasmine had to trust us for everything right from the beginning. Cassie and I carried her to the restroom. We had to help her completely with all her cares. Try to picture that. One day you are with your friends and all that you have known for the past 6 years and the next day you are in a hotel room with total strangers, trusting them for food and for care. You can’t just run away if things are bad. You don’t speak their language. You spend every moment relying on these strangers. They carry you every where. They pick your food. They dress you. They bathe you. You can not even sit up in bed without their help. You are at their mercy.
Yet, Jasmine has always had that smile on her face. Jasmine understands silly which was a good thing. Cassie and I do silly very well. We sang in the bathroom. We danced. We did whatever we could to make it silly and not uncomfortable. We used a hodgepodge of Mandarin, English, signs, and over-exaggerated faces and hand movements to communicate. Yet, she went along with everything. She sang when she could. She danced. She would just look at you and smile that 100 watt smile. All the awkward I had feared never came to be.
Jasmine was extremely quiet. She didn’t make any loud noises. She hung her head when we were in public. Although, I had wanted to take her shopping and out to the park while we were in China, we ended up spending most of our time in the hotel room. It was just so hard to take her anywhere and not just because things weren’t handicapped accessible. Many of the people in China look at disabilities as a curse. They stare. They come right up into your space and will say things to you. We would be eating meals and people would just shout stuff at her and she would hang her head. Whenever we were waiting for the van, we would build a wall of people around her to protect her, people came over and just stared, sometimes for 20 or more minutes and still, she smiled.
I couldn’t wait to bring her to America where she might be stared at, but people would not treat her like an outcast. Cassie took her to Village Inn for her first meal out and the lady wanted to know what Jasmine wanted to drink. The waitress got down at Jasmine’s level and Jasmine lowered her head. The lady asked her if she wanted water, juice or milk. Cassie said Jasmine’s face just lit up. She raised her head and got the biggest smile on her face. That was the beginning of her understanding that things were going to be different.
Jasmine shares a room with Gracie. They have become very good friends. I find them huddled under the covers at midnight watching Chinese soap operas on You-tube. They communicate with Google translate, and a hodgepodge of all the other languages used in this house. Gracie and Jasmine have gotten very good at communicating with each other. Jasmine has opened up and started sharing things with Gracie.
Things like:
My mama and my baba (bio parents) didn’t love me, but my mama and my daddy (Dan and I) love me very much! On Facebook I posted this story and wrote that her parents didn’t like her. Dan asked me why I wrote like instead of love. I thought about it for a long time and realized it was just too hurtful to put those words on paper. What child should ever believe that their parents don’t love them? How is that even possible?
My parents started to not like me when I was about Mei Mei’s age. When she was a toddler, she understood that her parents had an issue with her for some reason. She probably started getting clumsy and losing motor skills around that time. As I’ve said before, it’s hard enough being a girl in China, but being a disabled girl is a bigger issue yet.
I don’t want to be sick like nana. We know that Jasmine must understand in her heart that what she has isn’t fixable. She cries and doesn’t want to be ill like my mom who has spent the last 45 days in the hospital.
My friends and I used to sneak the little ones into our bed when they were scared at night. Jasmine shared a room with two of her friends. We asked about them but they are not available for adoption. I think this story shows how Jasmine and her two friends were the big sisters of the orphanage caring for the little ones. (On a brighter note, we just received notice that the “little girl in pink” that I wrote about when we traveled to China is now being adopted.) Jasmine talked of hiding the little ones in her bed when it stormed. Jasmine is a very good big sister and I know she was loved by many of the little ones in the orphanage.
My friends and I were often hungry. We would get food two times a day.
I shared before the story of how we brought a summer outfit and a fall outfit along with a light coat for every one of the children in Jasmine’s orphanage. When we showed her, she asked if we could go back to her orphanage and hand out the clothing. We drove the five hours from our hotel to her orphanage just so she could do this and it was wonderful. It was like Christmas morning. Jasmine handed out clothing to all the little kids and she had a great time.
Jasmine is a sweet, sweet girl. I keep waiting for those usual teenage behaviors but so far they haven’t shown up. Jasmine has, however, cried. I remember thinking that was a huge step forward. She didn’t feel like she needed to keep up this facade. She trusted us enough to let her guard down and let her emotions show.
The times she has cried have broken my heart though.
She cried, sobbing tears, when we were at her eye appointment. They were showing her letters on the screen and she was so proud of herself. All of a sudden, she didn’t know a letter. They handed her a card with the letter H and three other letters and asked her to point to the right one. She didn’t know and she cried. When we asked her why she was upset, she said, “I was scared because I didn’t know the letter.” I don’t know what has happened in her life that would bring sobbing tears from not knowing a letter but it can’t be good.
She cried when we took her to get fitted for her wheelchair. They were discussing needing a tilt mechanism on the chair and the doctor said, “for when she gets worse…” Jasmine understood that and cried. I think she knows in her heart that it isn’t going to go away, but I hate taking that dream from her. How do you explain to this child that she will progressively get worse. That she will lose more and more motor control. That someday she will die from this disease. I hate this.
We went to China thinking she had a cyst on her back that made her a paraplegic. We thought we were going to go get a teenager and teach her as much as we could, send her to college and watch her live these big, grand dreams that she couldn’t live in China. Instead we will slowly watch her die. I hate that, but I hate the thought of her spending her last days in an institution even more. I hate the thought of her being alone even more. I’m not angry that we didn’t know her diagnosis because truth be told, I most likely would have said no and Jasmine deserves the love of a family.
She cried when she told Gracie that her friends are often hungry. Which brings me to a big part of why I am writing this post. Love Without Boundaries just started a nutrition program at Jasmine’s orphanage. We were excited to see this and we have started sending a monthly amount of $100 to help out. This brought the biggest smile to her face. Then Gracie asked what if we did the same thing for Jasmine that we did for her during Lent? What if we could show Jasmine how much she has raised to help her friends? If Jasmine’s story or her smile has touched your heart, won’t you consider sending any amount to this fund. We asked LWB set up an account, much like Gracie’s, so she can watch the amount go up. We want her to feel like she is doing something tangible to help her friends.
Please won’t you consider helping Jasmine raise money to feed her friends. Our goal is to match the $100 per month that we have already pledged for a total of $1,200 raised during the next 6 weeks. We have been assured that this would be a huge help to the orphanage. The links are listed below. Thank you in advance for praying about this need.
or you can donate through PayPal
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Update 6,422 (or something like that)
I may or may not have been told by numerous people that it’s time to update. So here is my excuse, finding time to sit at the computer without sticky fingers around, is extremely difficult. I often update on Facebook because it’s easy to do quickly while sitting at the hospital. But tonight, all the stars finally aligned and I am sitting in my mom’s hospital room at midnight, things are quiet, and I remembered my computer. I know. I know….shocking. I just might get this update finished.
Now where to start, there is just so much that has happened since Evie’s surgery and Ben’s birthday.
Let’s start with EVIE and the new word I learned yesterday.
Arborization. Isn’t that a lovely word? Truly it is. You can take my word for it. Eight weeks ago, Evie had a BT shunt placed. After a scare where she clotted off her shunt, and an emergency trip to the cath lab, she has done wonderfully. Four weeks ago, we had an appointment where we discussed the fact that her oxygen saturations were still in the high 60’s. Dr. Divekar was not thrilled about those numbers and said that he was quite concerned that she wouldn’t be a candidate for the Glenn. I went home upset and called Dan, who was away on a business trip. He said with great certainty, “I don’t believe that. I think she will do wonderfully and I believe this is due to her pulmonary emboli from the clotted shunt.” He is usually right so I was relieved.
The hope after surgery was that with more blood flow to her pulmonary arteries, they would grow, which would make her a better candidate for the Glenn. Wednesday she had her follow-up heart cath and we got wonderful news. The left lung is still not getting much blood flow, BUT the right lung is getting plenty of blood flow from the shunt. Her right pulmonary artery grew 2 mms wider in 8 short weeks. But the best news (and I wish I would have thought to get video) is the arborization in her lung. What that means is instead of there being very limited blood flow as the blood comes out of the artery, there is what looks like a tree. The artery being the trunk and the vessels coming off the branches. It was such a beautiful sight. On top of that her pulmonary pressures were down. All of this means she is a candidate for the second stage surgery, the Glenn, in the next 3-4 months. And all of that means she has a chance for a longer life. Praise the Lord!
She was a trooper. After being scared initially, she laid flat and took a nap. Laying flat for six hours is no small feat for a two year old. She charmed everyone when she woke up by blowing kisses and waving good-bye. She is such a beautiful soul.
LAINEY AND JASMINE
Last night we had an appointment with neurology for Jasmine and Lainey. We haven’t had a lot of information before this. We pretty much know their diagnoses based on the information we have before us. We just don’t have all the testing behind it to have a medically conclusive test giving us a definitive diagnosis.
We have been trying to get Lainey to settle in and see where her base-line is going to be. I think we are finally there. I will say that most of the time she is a happy girl. She has started to have some purposeful play. She giggles and runs and plays. She even understands to bring her lips to yours for a kiss. She has started making some sounds and that “mmmmmaaa” is going to be mama very soon. Her diet has been the easiest thing to handle, which is funny because it was my biggest fear. Truth be told, I wish we were only dealing with what I was initially concerned about. Temper tantrums over not being able to have McDonalds would be much preferred over PTSD nightmares that send her into a not really awake state raging for 30 minutes or more. The good news is that these are not daily occurrences any more and they rarely happen during the day. She is still having seizures that are short in duration and happen many times during the day. She also doesn’t sleep for any long periods of time. This has been the hardest on our family. We all take turns doing the “Lainey shift”. She sleeps for maybe 3 hours and then wakes every hour on the hour. This isn’t a you can just let her play in her crib or cry herself to sleep issue. If you leave her alone, she will rage. It’s not a good thing. When Lainey is awake, you are awake. She gets up for good any time after 3:30 a.m.
They are going to schedule a 24 hour EEG for her to try and capture her seizures. If you’ve met Lainey, you know that this is going to be a most enjoyable stay (truly wish I had a sarcasm font). For those of you who don’t know Lainey, let’s just say that it took 10 minutes and three people to hold her still for me to trim her bangs.
Look at that smile! She is a beautiful little girl who is improving each and every day. We’ve come so far in the five months since she has been home. Truly we have. I don’t know where she will end up but the little girl you see today has made so much progress. We have hope that she will continue to improve.
Jasmine. Where do I start? First off, we know it is some sort of muscular disease. She has lost so much muscle tone already. They need to do a muscle biopsy for a definitive diagnosis. Her scoliosis is starting to hamper her comfort and it is thought that we will have to do surgery in the next 6 months. For those of you keeping track, that will be at least 4 heart caths, 4 heart surgeries and a major back surgery in 6 months time. And no I’m not complaining. I’m just stating the facts. Sometimes it is a little overwhelming. It’s a good thing I can do all things through Him who strengthens me because this is so much more than I can handle on my own.
The hardest part for me with Jasmine is just the loss of dreams. They will have a mandarin interpreter for her when we do her echo, pulmonary function test and see ortho. Jasmine wants to run. She wants to play. Instead of saying “Yes, we can fix this.” We have to tell her that she has to have a 6-10 hour surgery that will require that she lies flat for six weeks. I hate making her cry. She is such a happy girl with a wonderful smile. I love to make her laugh. I love to see that smile spread across her face. I don’t want to take away her dreams or disappoint her in any way.
She knows though. I know in her heart she knows the truth. I know this because Gracie has told me that Jasmine said she doesn’t want to be in the hospital like nana. She doesn’t want to be sick and she is scared. I’m happy we adopted her despite the pain in my heart for what she will have to endure. I feel blessed every single day that I get to be her mama. She really is a very special little girl. When people say, “I don’t know how you do it. I could never do that.” I believe they are missing the point. Because when you take your eyes off of yourself, then you know the truth. It doesn’t matter what I can do. The point is Jasmine will not be going through all of this alone. She may lose all ability to move, but she will know she is safe. That is what it is about. Jasmine. It’s all about perspective. You can feel sorry for yourself or you can feel blessed for being a part of a much bigger picture. A brighter future for a little girl who deserves to be loved with great abandon until the day she draws her last breathe. She should feel safe and loved and cared for. It’s not that Jasmine deserves more than other children. The truth is ALL children deserve the love of a family. The fact that we, as Christians, have lost sight of this fact breaks my heart.
Jasmine just wrote an essay for our upcoming six month post placement report. China has six questions they want you to answer. Cassie can read enough Chinese to get the gist of it. Jasmine stated that she loves her family. That she is very happy. That she loves school. She is doing remarkably well. We started school in September and we are through Kindergarten and first grade and well into second grade. She can write and count to 100, by twos, by fives, by tens. She can read some. She can add and subtract. She is a very bright girl and is excited to learn.
BENJAMIN
Benjamin has a heart catherization scheduled in Boston on the 28th. His has been the hardest decision to make. There aren’t many five year olds with uncorrected transposition around. It is so hard deciding what to do. Is it overkill to take him to Boston? Maybe? I don’t know. But when it comes to your child, you want to give them the very best chance that you can. You want them to be operated on with the most experienced hands you can find so that is what we are going to do.
Ben is not happy about surgery. He is a smart boy and knew something was up. When we initially started discussing this with him, he told us that Eli could have surgery but he was fine. He finally agreed to surgery as long as it could be performed at home. Now he says he will agree to surgery in the hospital as long as Spiderman performs the surgery. This came after he saw this picture from another heart mom’s blog.
Ben loves his superheroes. He dresses like Superman when he goes to the hospital. I think if the surgeon dressed like this, Ben would happily go into surgery. I wonder what the odds of talking the doctor into this would be?
MY MAMA
Which brings us to my mama, we are still in the ICU. She recently had a liver biopsy to try and figure out why her bilirubin just doesn’t want to come down very quickly. The good news is that her liver is not in failure. It is just in shock. She doesn’t feel like eating. She is very weak. She is in pain and can’t take any medication because her liver is not functioning well and her kidneys have failed. She is very weak and has a long road ahead of her. The good news is that she should get there. The bad news is she is beyond frustrated. On top of that, she gets confused and keeps trying to get out of bed. So far we have had two falls out of bed in the ICU. No injuries but she is scaring everyone.
FUN TIMES
As you can see, we have settled into our new normal and life is just smoothly moving along. (Still can’t find the sarcasm font.) Truly though, I love the noise and the chaos of it all. I love looking out into my sunroom and seeing the five littles play together. I love seeing Jasmine and Gracie all snuggled up in bed watching you-tube videos and singing. I am blessed to have Cassie and Zach still be here and willingly help with my mom and all the others. I am blessed to have Dan’s mom help out with the kids so I can be with my mama. I am blessed that no matter how much happens in our lives, Dan and I know who is in control and rely on each other to make it through.
It hasn’t all been sad. We have plenty of fun times in the midst of all the struggles.
We went to the Renaissance Fair.
We went to the zoo.
We took Jasmine to the Casting Crowns Concert at the Iowa State Fair.
The girls went to the Women of Faith Conference
And the usual fun grocery runs to Wal-Mart which get us many comments from “You have your hands full.” to “Are you running an Asian day care?” to “Where did all these kids come from?” Never a dull moment at our house!
Thank you for taking the time to ask me how it was going and to truly be concerned about our family. As always, thank you for the thoughts and prayers.
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Blessings
Evie is extubated and resting now. It was a very long morning and afternoon where she was uncomfortable and they couldn’t control her pain. This is the first time she has rested comfortably all day long. Counting our blessings one medicine and one tube removed at a time.
Dan and I were just talking about how at this time last night (7pm), they were rushing her down for an emergency heart cath with ECMO on standby and tonight she is happy and resting and on her way to healing. Can’t get much more blessed than that.
Yesterday I wrote about some pictures that a friend of Cassie’s took. She came over with her camera and just played with the kids in the backyard. I picked 20 of my favorites to show you. Some good news is always in order. I have been blessed 12 times over….
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