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Rose-colored Glasses
For most of my life I have heard about my rose-colored glasses or my Pollyanna attitude. People say I’m just too optimistic or choose to see only the good things. I whole heartedly agree with this assessment. I do choose to see the good. Life is what you make of it. You see what you are looking for.
Many of you have probably seen the reels where someone says to look for all the blue things in the room. So you look frantically for all the blue things in the room because you know they are going to ask you to name what you saw, but then they ask you about the yellow things. You didn’t see any yellow things because you were too busy looking for the blue things. That is what I am talking about.
Sometimes in life we are so ready to see all the bad that we overlook all the wonderful things happening. We miss the miracles. I choose to dwell on the good. I choose hope. I choose happy over sadness. It’s a daily choice that I make. I am unbelievably blessed and I try hard not to forget that. Somedays it’s easier than others but it is something I choose to do every day.
I could choose to look at Evie every day of my life and remind myself to not get too close because she might not be here tomorrow and the pain will be too much to bear. We could have decided not to adopt her at all because why put ourselves through that much heartache? I could worry myself sick that some day she will need a heart transplant. I could fret over the fact that she might not get to grow up. I can be angry that she has so much difficulty with things because of years of low oxygen saturations and how unfair it is that she had to spend so many years in an orphanage – hungry and very, very blue.
Or I can love Evie with everything in me. I can see what a beautiful soul she is because she is a truly beautiful soul. You only have to look through the photos on my phone, which is full of pictures of her, to see what an animated, joyful child she is. I can praise God for every day that I get to live with her. I can thank God for bringing her here where she gets wonderful medical care. I can hope beyond hope that her heart won’t decline more. I can be thankful for the joy she brings to every day.
Both paragraphs are true. I get to choose which one I dwell on.
I learned that lesson along time ago with Codey. Dan and I realized that we were sad and taking tons of pictures of Codey while waiting for Codey to die. It was true that he was very ill. It is true that he tried to die more times than I can count during those first 14 months in the hospital. But it was so depressing waiting for him to die so we decided to praise God that Codey was still alive. We chose to look at every day as a gift because it is. We hung up that quote that says “Every day is a gift from God that’s why it’s called the present.” Rose colored glasses at their best. It was the worst of times and we decided to make them the best of times. We were going to enjoy every single day that we were allowed to have him in our lives. And just so everyone is clear….Codey just turned 39. 🙂 How sad it would have been if we let fear of his death ruin that whole first year.
Complaint – My life is not a picnic. I have to work hard. Praise – Thank God I am still healthy enough to do it. Thank God that He made me strong with a good work ethic. Thank God that we have a fridge full of food. Thank God that we could afford to adopt our children. Thank God for Dan working hard at his job that makes everything we do possible.
Complaint – I am often tired. Praise – I never have any trouble falling asleep at night.
Complaint – I deal with more poop and pee than anyone should have to. Praise – Thank God for diapers and bed pads and a washing machine and dryer and running water.
Complaint – I can’t go anywhere without making complicated plans for everyone left at home. Praise – Thank God for teenage children that aren’t afraid to jump in and help and let Dan and I have dates. Thank God for Cassie and Reece who live here with us in our downstairs apartment. Thank God for Grace and Josh and Grandpa Ron who all live just down the street. My life is abundantly blessed right now.
Complaint – There is so much to do and so much to keep clean. Praise – Thank God for this beautiful home that I get to live in that accomodates everyone so well. Thank God that every morning I get to praise Him in this sanctuary He provided for us. I’m still in awe that the dream that I had for 10 years actually came true. I hope I never lose the joy of the miracle of all that happened to make that dream come true.
Complaint – Jasmine has to have help getting up and she needs help to go to bed. She cannot do it on her own. I have to plan every day around that. Praise – Thank God that Jasmine is safe and loved and doesn’t live in an orphanage any more.
Complaint – Lainey doesn’t really like sleep. Sometimes she sleeps for 6 hours straight and that is a glorious day but lots of times she wakes up wide awake at 3:30 or 5:00. I don’t like early mornings. Praise – Thank God for her sweet laugh and the fact that she is safe and now gets the medical care that she needs. Thank God for Jessica and Maisey who take one night a week to sleep with Lainey so mom can catch up on her sleep.
Complaint – Codey’s hip fracture means he isn’t able to move himself any more. Someone has to move him from the bed to the recliner and back again to bed numerous times throughout the day as he needs. Praise – Thank God that Codey is still here and has the chance to heal. Thank God for a large living room that accomodates his bed and recliner. Thank God for teenage children who take a turn sleeping with him in the living room so he isn’t alone.
Complaint – Lainey requires constant attention. It is never ending. She hits the floor with her foot. She wears a helmet because she hits doors with her head. She has seizures throughout the day. Praise – Thank God for all the people who love her and care for her and share in her cares. She loves the teens. (I guess I can’t really call them The Littles forever.) Thank God that she feels safe and can live her very best life.
There are more, but you get the point. You can choose to dwell on the complaint or the praise. Both the above statements are true. The complaint is true. The praise is true. You get to choose which one you dwell on.
Part of the issues I have had with the older girls is that they don’t like my “joyful” attitude. They say that life sucks and there is no good out there. I remind them that life is truly what you make of it. Your past doesn’t dictate who you become. You get to choose. I say that to all the kids all the time. Life is what you choose. Lots of horrible things happen to lots of people. I’m not making light of it, but it’s a an unfortunately true statement. Bad stuff happens every day. Every where. You get to choose what you do with what’s left. If you make mistakes in a relationship, you can choose to repair it. If your life isn’t what you want it to be, you can work towards the life you dream of.
If you say you can’t ever be happy, you won’t be.
If you say you can’t do it, you never will.
If you say life sucks and you’re going to be sad for the rest of your life, you will be.
You see in life what you choose to see. I choose to see good. I choose hope. I choose joy. Not everything in my life is joyful but I look for things that bring me joy. Beautiful sunsets. Babies faces. The laughter of children. A clean counter. An organized closet. (I do love organization.) A penny on the ground. (Reminds me of my mom.) Date days. Family gathered together. Amazing thrifting finds. Talented brothers who show up when you need them. My list could go on and on. Life is so so good.
You see what you want to see.
I’ll choose to put on those rose-colored glasses and be joyful. I hope you’ll join me.
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1Thessalonians 5:16-18
