• What brought us to adoption?

    Date: 2011.04.01 | Category: Adoption | Tags:

    The very first time it  happened without much thought beforehand.  We had discussed adopting a little bit.  I must admit it wasn’t a priority at that time.  We could barely afford to eat.  But when it presented itself we were on board with all our hearts.

    Dan was so moved by Hope’s birth that he couldn’t even bring himself to go to her delivery.  The adoptive parents had backed out when the second ultrasound showed a major heart defect.  The birth mother had decided not to do surgery and had signed the papers for stopping Hope’s medications that were keeping her alive.  Dan’s heart was moved before Hope was even born.  Within hours of her birth, he had fallen in love with her little toes.  Isn’t that just the sweetest?  I love that. He feel in love with her toes. He had written orders for the nurses to hold her every hour.  He hated that her bassinet held no toys or signs of a baby being loved.  He went to the hospital gift shop and bought her booties for those cute toes and stuffed animals (a bear, a dog, a bunny, and a lamb – the nicknames he had given to our other children).   He called me and asked me what I thought.  We then decided a baby should not die alone in a hospital without a name.  We made the decision to take her home and love her for as long as she lived.  After that, the surgeon told us if we chose to proceed with surgery, he would do everything in his power to save her.  Adoption became part of our lives, but not much planning beforehand went into it. God had graciously blessed us with a gift right out of left field.

    Years later Dan thought we should adopt again.  He had read Max Lucado’s book Outlive Your Life.   In that book Max asks some hard questions?

    “Had you been in Germany in WWII, would you have taken a stand against Hitler?”
    “Had you lived in the South during the civil rights conflict, would you have taken a stand against racism?”
    Easy questions to say yes to because they are hypothetical.  But the next question was about now….
    “We are the wealthiest group of Christians ever.  When your grandchildren discover you lived during a day when 1.75 billion people were poor and 1 billion were hungry, how will they judge your response?”

    Dan wanted his children and grandchildren to remember him doing what he could.  He wanted them to understand his love for God and know that he followed His commandments.  He wanted to be remembered as a man of integrity, honor and a man who cared.  I drug my feet.  Why?!?!  Because I was old or what I perceived to be old (46).  I really gave too much thought to what others would think of me.  I gave too much thought to not being there for years for my new children. I hate using the word worry because I didn’t really sit around all day worrying about it.  I just gave way too much thought to what others thought and what might happen in the future.  But then I read Mary Beth Chapman’s book “Choosing to See”.  In that book she talks about her daughter asking her “Is it better for an orphan to have an older mother or no mother at all?”.  I cried and cried.  That was what it took.  Some where there was a child that God had all picked out for me and I was dragging my feet because someone might think I was too old. Their lives would be forever changed whether I lived for another year or 40 years.  They would know love.

    We proceeded the very next week with looking for an adoption agency.  When God is speaking to your heart, it starts as a small thought that keeps growing bigger.  Words, things and people will come into your life and show you the way.  Listen carefully……is He talking to you?