• Top 10 interesting questions I’ve been asked since I’ve adopted.

    Date: 2012.10.13 | Category: Adoption, Thoughts to ponder | Tags:

    I was unsure how to title this.  Top 10 dumb questions…..  Top 10 irritating questions…..  Top 10 questions that drive me crazy….   Top 10 questions that made me want to say “did you really just say that?”……     Not quite sure what the title should be so I will just title it the obvious…. Top 10 interesting questions I’ve been asked since I’ve adopted.

    #10 – Do you think it’s fair to your other children to bring more disabled children into your family?

    Well, do you think it’s fair that your children are being raised by someone so narrow minded?  Do you believe my children will somehow catch the disability?  Or is it just because you think my children will somehow be lacking in material things or time because I adopted disabled children?  Are you just concerned about my time management skills?  Are you worried about our insurance premiums?  What exactly is your problem with the children, who I’ve chosen to adopt, being disabled and would you say the same if I was adopting 6 healthy children?

    #9 – Don’t you want to do something with your life?

    I know they mean “don’t I want a job?” or “don’t I want to go back to school?”, but I believe I am doing something with my life.  I’m following God’s plan for my life and loving every minute of it (well, most of them anyway).  I believe I make a difference in all of my children’s lives.  If you read Proverbs 31, you don’t read about a wife who is subservient and accomplishes nothing.  You read about a wife who is respected and praised by her husband and children.  She not only runs the household, she runs the business dealings of their family.  I am very confident in who I am and what I want out of life.  I love children and my dream when I was younger was to have 12 children.  I thought that dream was long gone but God has shown me differently.   I will admit that these questions bothered me when I was younger, but as I’ve aged I have come to the realization that I can do anything I set my mind to.  I have nothing to prove to anyone, including myself.  I am happy and feel blessed beyond measure.  Plus, when I was growing up I wanted to be a nurse and/or a teacher.  I may not have the degrees to show it but I have gotten to be both a teacher and a nurse to those that I love the most.

    #8 – You really think God is telling you to do this?

    Well, yes I do!  I have had it happen quite a few times in my life.  I have known something with such certainty that I would bet my life on it.  I know these are my children.  I know God has led them to me.  It’s not like I have accepted every child I have seen.  I’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of hurting children.  We’ve turned down children that were presented to us.  It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  Saying no is never easy.  Do I want to find those children families, of course I do, but I have always known when I was supposed to proceed with the paperwork and when I was supposed to say no.  I have cried just seeing a child’s face.  There is a difference between crying because you hear a sad story and stopping in your tracks, losing your breath, being brought to your knees, and knowing beyond a doubt that child is yours.

    #7 – Why would you go to China?

    This one is simple, because that is where God put my babies.  I had to go get them.  It wouldn’t make sense to go get my Asian babies in Uganda. 🙂

    #6 – Do you have something against white kids?

    This one just floored me.  You are seriously going to ask me that?  I have adopted domestically (Hope, who is Caucasian) so the answer would be no.  I personally gave birth to a few too.  What kind of question is that?  Do you have something against Asian children?  As a Christian I find that insulting because we are all children of God.  We are all adopted into God’s family.

    #5 – Well, if you didn’t adopt them, wouldn’t someone else do it?

    Do you know this for sure?  What about all the children that age out of the foster care system and the orphanage system?  What happens to these children from China who are considered bad luck, have a last name that means orphan, as they are put on the street without much of an education, if any?  Over the past 20 years the number one agency in Chinese adoptions (CCAI) has placed 10,000 children.  That is an amazing number, but there are 800 orphanages in China alone.    Between 1971 & 2001 there were approximately 250,000 children adopted internationally in the U.S.  I can’t find a figure that shows more recent numbers, but I think that it goes without saying that there are way more orphans than there are people willing to step up and take them.

    #4 – Why would you spend money on a child that you know is going to die?

    Wow!  Really? Did you just ask that?  Why have a child at all?  Do you have a guarantee or a warranty that came with your child?  I had a perfectly healthy 7 year old who ended up with lupus and kidney disease.  There are no guarantees.  I believe that Benjamin deserves to be loved and to not die alone.  I also know that if you spent even a few moments with him you would believe it too.  He is a sweet, sweet soul and he deserves to be loved and given every chance at a wonderful life, no matter how long that life is.

    #3 – Don’t you think you have enough children?

    Can one really have enough children or too many children? It’s sort of like chips and oreos. You can’t stop at just one.  Ha!  Just kidding.  Truly though I think it is a person by person call.  I know what my limits are and I believe firmly in letting every child know how much they are loved.  I believe in one on one time with each child.  I also know that being loved by a huge family is better than being left alone in an orphanage where the ratio of care is often 20-30 children to 1 nanny.  My other children are not suffering from our adopting, they are loving it.

    #2 – Aren’t you are too old to be adopting!?!?

    That comment ranks right up there with asking someone if they know they are fat.  Don’t you think I know that I’m older?  Do  you think I haven’t give careful consideration to the fact that I might not be around to care for them as they grow older?  It is the one thing that made me seriously consider not doing what I knew was right.  I believe that a child who is truly loved, for any amount of time, is better than a child being left in a orphanage.  Plus, these aren’t my first children.  My older children are on board.  We have prepared as best we can for any circumstance that arises.  I am healthy and more than able to care for these little ones.

    #1 – Don’t you know you can’t save all of them?

    Obviously, I can’t adopt every orphan nor have I been called by God to adopt every orphan.  I am, however, listening very closely to what He is telling me and adopting the ones I am personally called to adopt.   I know that I can not adopt them all, but I can spread the word about adoption.  I can say, without a doubt, that there are a hundred ways you can help without personally adopting (if that isn’t your calling).  But the truth is that the number of orphans is estimated to be between 147 million and 163 million.  The number of Christians in the world is estimated to be over 2 billion.  I am pretty sure that we, as Christians who have been called to care for the widow and the orphan, could probably take care of the orphan problem all by ourselves.  What an amazing testimony to the rest of the world that would be!  What would it say to those who don’t believe if suddenly no child was hurting, starving, made to be a slave, or alone?  What would it say indeed!