• The greatest of these is love….

    Date: 2012.06.07 | Category: Family Life | Tags:

    I started this blog after my husband encouraged me to put my words down in writing.  I sat and debated a blog for months because I wasn’t sure I wanted to put my feelings out there for others to read.  He reminded me that if I don’t tell the kid’s story then I don’t let God’s glory shine either.  The truth is hard to hide from and God places things on your heart and then you must pay attention.  I wanted a blog that said something about being blessed.  On blogspot there weren’t many of those “blessed” blogs left.  I guess there are lots of people who feel blessed – praises all around for that!  Zach then said that he could start me a website of my own if I would just come up with a name.  All of my children and other family members gave me ideas.  Those ideas all played on the fact that I use the word “seriously”….a lot. Way too much!  So it became my site and every time I type it in it makes me smile.  Because I am truly and utterly seriously blessed.  That doesn’t mean I don’t have troubles or tests or trials.  I just choose to see them for what they are, an opportunity to trust God, to turn everything over to Him, to place my faith where it should have been to start with because I was never in control anyway.

    Zach initially made it hard to leave a response.  Mainly because he was afraid of random people spamming me or criticizing me.  I recently came across a quote that said “man’s criticism’s make it possible for you to stay humble while hearing man’s praise”.   I don’t want to hear the praise because the reality is I don’t feel like I’ve done anything all that remarkable   I have heard from a couple of people this week and it is as if God was saying it’s okay, listen to what they have to say.  They are hearing that it is about Me and not about you.  For that reason, I had him make it easier to leave a response although it still seems difficult to figure it out.  I talked Linda through it just the other day to make sure that it worked.  Directions for leaving a response:  just click on the heading and it will open that post by itself and at the bottom of the page there should be a place for replying.

    I know there are people who will read my blog and think I am boasting.  I’m not.  I know that I am but a speck in a great big sea.  I have had life knock me to my knees more times than I care to mention.  I know what is truly important in life and I’m humbled every day by the gifts I have been given.  I have a husband who is my best friend, who loves me and tells me just how much every day.  I have children who I cherish and I love to spend time with.  I have been blessed enough to be able to adopt 3 children who have changed my lives in ways too numerous to mention.  I get to see so many firsts and my heart is overflowing with love and gratitude to a God that made this possible.

    I hear people talk all the time about how expensive adoption is and I know that is true.  I maxed out a credit card, drained a savings account and still had to borrow a little bit more. It’s not easy even if your spouse makes a very good living.  But if God places this on your heart you have to trust Him that it will be doable.  I’ve seen people have garage sales, bake sales, auctions, put out jars in stores, just about anything you can imagine.  There are ways to make it happen.  There are organizations that give grants.  It should not cost so much to take in an abandoned baby, but that is another talk for another day.  What you will receive in return is a hundred fold more important and wonderful than those few dollars that you will spend.  Besides it was never my money anyway…it’s always been Gods!

    For those dollars that were spent, I’ve had the joy of watching a sweet little 2 year old blossom.  When we got her that day in the registration office, to say she was quiet and sad would be an understatement.  We stripped her out of her clothes when we got to the hotel and both Dan and I cried.  She was starving with little tiny arms and legs and a distended belly.   Because of the bumps on her ribs and her bowed wrists and legs, Dan guessed she had rickets and this was later confirmed.  She had a bald spot on the back of her little head because the instant she got mad, she would throw herself to the floor and rub her head back and forth as she cried.  This happened over and over again those first few days.  She didn’t understand “no”.  She was sad when the food got moved.  I’m not sure anyone had ever tried to communicate with her which is sad because she can hear even without her BAHA.  I held her.  I rocked her.  I comforted her and it stopped.  It didn’t take very long and there was more and more time between each incident.  I can’t remember the last time she threw herself to the ground – not since we left China.  All of this changed because of love.   Because we took the time to hold her and comfort her and care.  That is all it took – well, that and a lot of noodles. 🙂  Now she runs through my house giggling, laughing, and throwing herself at your legs with great big bear hugs.

    Probably the saddest thing was if they got hurt neither of the kids cried.  If they hit their head hard or fell down, they didn’t cry tears.  It took me a bit to even realize that was happening.  It was as if it didn’t matter.  They knew no one would comfort them so the tears never came.  I can’t even explain how that feels as a mother.  Sometimes when I think of what they have gone through my heart just hurts.  I don’t understand it.  I don’t understand this world.  I don’t understand abandoning a baby.  I don’t understand so much and the world seems so evil and really what can I possibly do?  I can’t fix poverty or starvation or HIV or cancer or war.  But what I can do is take one life and turn it around.  One life at a time.  It’s all any of us can do. I’ve now had the privilege of doing that with 3 lives.  What a gift that is.  You can’t put a price on how that will change your life.  I have regretted many things that I have done in my past.  I have regretted things that I have said out of anger.  I’ve regretted things I should have said but chose not to out of embarrassment or lost opportunity.  BUT I have never ever regretted helping someone, saying something that would brighten their day, telling someone that I love them or encouraging someone in some way.

    I think that is each of our challenges, to seek God with all your heart and allow His glory to shine.  Your testimony is your life.  You can preach.  You can quote the Bible.  You can criticize and lecture and judge, but those things won’t bring anyone closer to God.  I don’t want to be in the way of someone seeing God’s glory.  I want others to see in my life the faith I have in a God and a plan that I can’t possibly understand.  I have had the privilege of watching a little life turn around.  I have had the great honor of bringing joy to a sad little boy and girl.  I can give Benjamin years of joy, but that joy will never, ever compare to the joy he will feel in heaven.  In the end, that will be my greatest gift to him, to show him the love of God and show him the way to salvation.  I want to help him understand we are all waiting to be adopted.  We are all longing to be loved for who we are.  We are all looking for that one person who won’t let us down.  No one on earth can do that for us because man is not perfect.  Only God can do those things. Go to God.  Talk to God.  Ask Him what you can do for one person.  Ask Him to open your eyes to the hurt that He sees.  You will be amazed at the peace that comes from trusting a God who has it all under control even though His ways are so far beyond our understanding.  Spread a little love to your loved ones and to those that are hurting around you.  I guarantee you that you will never regret having done something out of love.

    1 Corinthians 13:13     And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.