• Perspective

    Date: 2012.12.28 | Category: Adoption, Benjamin, Thoughts to ponder | Tags:

    I’ve been listening to people talk about perspective lately.  The world seems to be just a little crazier with the shootings in Connecticut and Oregon.  I hear them say that some of the things that they thought were important don’t really seem as important now.   We have the choice to want perfection and everything in it’s place or allow grace to those people and things in our lives that may be a little less than perfect.   I am blessed to have gone through what we’ve gone through with Codey and Kyle.  Their live’s have taught me to be grateful for every day you are allowed to live; to not get caught up in the tiny things that go wrong; to forgive when necessary, to say I’m sorry when you need to; to help and encourage those that you can; and to truly be grateful for everything that you have .

    Every day I wake up and have the choice to be filled with fear that today may be Ben’s last day.  I can dwell on his little blue fingers.  I can dwell on his raspy voice when he plays too hard.  I can dwell on how little he is and how low his platelets are.  I can think about how he could fall and cause a hemorrhage.  If I dwell on any of those things though, I miss out on all the wonderful moments throughout the day.  He is so funny and so sweet.  He is compassionate and caring beyond his years. Every day with him is a blessing.  I don’t want to lose even one minute worrying about things that I have no control over.  Only God knows the number of his days.  I will leave that in His hands and enjoy every moment that I am blessed to spend with sweet Ben. The truth is it is that way with most of my children.  I could go on and on about them and the trials their health issues bring to our lives.  The truth of the matter is that it has given me a whole new perspective on living.

    On the other hand, I have a son and daughter who are both so bright.  I watched them when they were little and dreamed all the worldly dreams for them.  Good grades, good schools, good jobs, etc.   It’s not that those things aren’t important, but a good foundation in Godly values is so much more important.  Compassion, love for others, finding their purpose and purposely living their lives is what it is all about.  The lessons our adoptions have taught them are priceless.  It has given them true perspective on what is and isn’t important.

    The truth is we spend our days worrying about trivial things.  Truly they are trivial.  I bet you in two years you won’t remember what car broke down or which appliance wasn’t as new as you’d wished.  You won’t remember what you purchased for Christmas.  You won’t remember what your child said when they talked back.  You can be upset about some wrong that has happened and then you turn on the news and see that 20 children have lost their lives for no reason at all.  You grab your child and hug them a little tighter.  You wonder why you screamed about their bed not being made or the fact that they were moving so slow this morning.  I’m not saying that it isn’t important for our children to have rules and be disciplined.   I’m just saying that it is a good reminder that some things aren’t as big as we make them out to be.

    For example, if you knew that your husband was going to have a heart attack next week, how would that change how you treated him?  The truth is do you know that he won’t?  Do you have a guarantee that you’ll have another week to make up with him, to treat him right, to let him know just how much he means to you?    How about your daughter or son?  Do you know for a fact that they will live to be 50, 60, or 70?  What if they encounter a drunk driver?  What if they are diagnosed with cancer? What if your healthy 6 year old suddenly becomes ill and is diagnosed with lupus?  Believe me….there are no guarantees.

    Why does it take some major life event for us to pay attention?  God tells us over and over again in His book to love our neighbor, to forgive, to treat others as we want to be treated, to care for the orphan and the widow.  Why do we ignore these commands like they are just suggestions if we have the time and energy to do it? These should be our life goals.

    The truth of the matter is there are approximately 147 million orphans in the world.  There are approximately 250,000 children waiting to be adopted in the U.S.  Why are we not standing up as Christians and doing something about this?  My sister-in-law wrote a status on her Facebook about the ASPCA and their ads.  Her 5 year old daughter asked her if they could be part of their team.  She was so moved by the conditions of the animals.  Why aren’t there commercials about children?  What if they showed you a horrible orphanage and you saw your child’s face? What would you do to go get them?  What if God has a child picked out for you and you are just leaving them there?  What if we Christians put our values in what is really important?  What could we change?  We should all live generously.  We should all be giving not if we have a little left over, but we should be sharing our wealth. We are so blessed as a country.  We have so much.  How much more is enough for you? What will be enough for you to decide you can share? When will you decide you can afford to help?  What will it take to change your perspective?