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One less….
I’ve written a lot about adoption. I’ve repeated over and over my wish for people to come together and make a difference for these children. I actually have another blog all written out detailing some of the really horrible things going on in orphanages around the world. I know that there is a time for that blog, but it is not today. Today I’d like to talk about the littlest member of our household, well, she will be for at least another 2-3 months.
Today I was thinking about what makes adoption so special. The reality is, at the beginning, you wonder “could I love a child that is not my flesh & blood”? Those thoughts don’t make you a bad person, they just make you human. You know you aren’t perfect and you wonder, “what if I care less about my adopted child than I do for my biological child”? What if I somehow treated them differently? Heaven forbid I made it worse for them (as if having a family could really be worse). Doubt is there constantly making you second guess what you could and could not do. Somehow it seems easier when you adopt an infant. They grow up and all they have known is you. Pretty easy. Just the same as having your own baby – but less work in the pushing them out department.
The agency calls and they present you with a one year old, who is labeled as deaf. You pray and ask for guidance but you know from the moment you see her picture, that she is your daughter.
Now here you are in the Registration Office, you’ve had a year of waiting. A year of looking lovingly at that picture, dreaming about what her personality might be like. You wonder before they bring her in if you can be enough. You wonder if she will love you too. You wonder if you will overwhelm her with all that love you have been holding inside for a year. You wonder if you will scare her. You wonder if you can make her see her worth and just how beautiful she is despite the fact that her ears haven’t formed right and her chin is a little crooked. They bring her in and your tears start. It. Just. Feels. So. Right! To hold her, to touch her hair, to whisper how much you love her – it is all so right. She is your daughter. You would do anything for her. It doesn’t take a month, or a year, it happens right away, in truth it happened even before you meet. But when you finally get to hold her in your arms, your heart literally overflows with love.
But things aren’t perfect because you were in fact presented with a two year old. Oh boy – two year olds – they are fun! Delightful, always happy, ready to go along with anything you present them with. HA! Now this two year old doesn’t necessarily have anything against you in particular, they are just being 2 and they do”2″ really well. Add to that a child who has never been taught how to deal with those emotions and it can be a trying few days until you both come to an understanding. There will be many discussion on who is truly the boss.
You still don’t know what her personality will be. She needs time to grow and feel secure. It is just like being pregnant. You dream of what that child will be. You dream of about their personality without really knowing what they will be like. Then that sweet baby shows up and you look into that face and your heart is gone. It doesn’t mean you have it all figured out. It doesn’t mean every day is rosy. It doesn’t mean that life won’t have many, many trials. But what it does mean is you are family. Your baby is loved. You will be blessed in ways you can’t even fathom.
When you adopt a child from an orphanage, things you thought you appreciated will take on new meaning. The pure joy in watching a child truly discover they are secure is unbelievable. When they finally realize that there is comfort when they are hurt, you will be amazed. Everything has greater value to a child who has had nothing. A meal is not to be taken for granted. A second bottle leaves her dancing for joy. Cookies? Warm blankets and hugs whenever you want one? Well, of course, she”ll take those. Something as simple as making cupcakes and adding sprinkles, brings on giggles galore. She talks and she knows she will be heard. She cries and she knows someone cares. She slowly grasps just what family means and she blossoms.
And then day after day she does the most amazing thing. When you pick her up, she just stares at your face. She places a hand on each cheek and tilts her head slightly. She rubs her hand up and down and up and down, very slowly, very deliberately, all while staring lovingly into your eyes. She then says “I wuv you” and lays her head on your shoulder and hugs you as tight as a little two year old can hug. How can you put a price on that?
Maisey is joy. There is no other way to describe her and what she has brought to our family, just joy! Now I will admit that she is 2 and wants her own way and has been known to take a toy or two away from Ben. She can stomp her feet and can yell as loud as any other two year old, but more often than not, she is empathy and caring and joy and everything beautiful you’d want your little girl to be. How lucky am I? How blessed am I? By taking a step past my fears, I ended up with blessings too numerous to mention.
You can’t save every child, but adoption means “one less”. One less child without a family. One less child without the comfort of a home. One less child abandoned and alone. One less child questioning their worth. I believe “one less” is a truly remarkable and unbelievably amazing thing.
