• Make A Wish J.J. (part 1)

    Date: 2019.03.08 | Category: Family Life, Jessica | Tags:

    In January 2018, J.J. received a new kidney through a transplant.  While J.J. was in the hospital recovering, her doctor informed us that she could be granted a wish from the Make A Wish Foundation.

    We gave it much thought, and for many different reasons had decided not to proceed with the wish.  Every month or so we would have an appointment and they would ask us if we had considered J.J. getting a wish.   We would politely say that we didn’t wish to proceed.  One day J.J.’s doctor asked us why we weren’t proceeding with the wish.  We told her our reasons and she simply said, “It isn’t about the gift as much as it’s about making J.J. feel special.”  Her doctor then asked, “Doesn’t J.J. deserve to feel extra special with all that she’s been through?  If you feel guilty about the cost, just donate it back to Make A Wish at a later date.”

    We went home and thought about it some more.  We weren’t even sure J.J. would understand what being granted a wish meant.  We didn’t try to explain Make A Wish (MAW) to J.J. but we did ask her what she would do if she could have any wish she wanted.  Her answers were so sweet, but we couldn’t make any of them come true.  I wrote about this conversation on Facebook.  Here is that post from October 2018.

    When I put the kids to bed at night I like to ask a random question just to hear everyone’s thoughts. Tonight I asked Maisey, Evie, JJ, Elyse and Grace the question “What would you wish for?”
    Elyse – No more orphanages.
    J.J. – A family for every kid.
    Maisey – No more mean people.
    Evie – I would wish to be a genie so I could make everyone happy.
    Me – No, I mean a wish you could actually make happen.
    Elyse – To Travel the world and save a million souls.
    JJ – No more stealing little girls.
    Elyse – Yes, no more slavery of any kind.
    JJ – To adopt a baby.
    Evie – To have a pet zebra that I could hug every day.
    Maisey – To be tiny so I could ride a butterfly.
    Me – Does anyone have any wish that could actually come true?
    Elyse – An underground playplace where Grace and I can secretly hang with our friends.
    Me – That’s a little closer to something that could actually happen.
    Maisey – I am gonna be a ninja.
    Evie – I am just gonna make people happy myself I guess.
    Grace – A car would be nice. I can drive in 3 years.
    JJ – But mama I don’t need anything.

    Over the next month we would randomly talk about wishes.  I explained to Grace what was going on and she would just say to J.J., “No, a wish that could come true. You know like when I wished for a car.”

    In December her team at the hospital informed us that if we were going to do a wish, then we would have to proceed soon.  J.J. needed to be nominated within the first year of her transplant and we were fast approaching the one year mark on January 1st. We decided to let them nominate J.J. and see if she would even be granted a wish.

    After we received the letter granting J.J.’s wish, we decided to be honest with J.J. and ask her about specific wishes.  Make A Wish sends out a book and paperwork that you can ask the child questions about.  We asked her about celebrities she wanted to meet – there weren’t any.  We asked her about traveling – she said, “I’ve already been to Disney.  I didn’t like it very much.”   We asked her to consider if there was anything that she could think of that she really wanted.  It could be a big wish.  She just had to let us know and she could draw a picture if she wanted to.

    She came to us first asking about helping orphans.  We told her that we loved her heart but this needed to be a wish that could be granted and that we, as a family, would always do what we could to help orphans.

    She came back to us with the idea for an indoor playground.   She drew out her pictures and told us what she wanted and why she wanted it.

    REASONS WHY SHE WANTS AN INDOOR PLAYPLACE:

    • Big play places have big kids that run her over and scare her.
    • She is supposed to try to not get sick.
    • Her brothers and sisters would love it.
    • She wants to surprise her brothers & sisters.
    • It’s cold like half the time here.
    • She likes to play with her brothers & sisters.

    WHAT SHE WOULD LIKE IT TO HAVE:

    • Low monkey bars that her and Elyse can do.
    • Rock climbing wall with one of those soft things you can fall on for Maisey.
    • A swing.
    • A lookout tower to see the tall windows.
    • A slide.
    • Tiny play house

    Her request was just so sweet and well thought out.  It was hard to say no after that.  Dan and I thought long and hard and decided to let her have her dream.   Well, honestly it didn’t take long to make the decision after seeing her sweet face excitedly tell us all about her plans.

    The best part of all of this is that she wanted it to be a surprise.  She has been so cute keeping her secret. I have to admit that it has been almost as much fun watching her plan her secret as when she was granted the wish.  Brooke and Marcy, volunteers with MAW, came out to our house to ask J.J. questions.  J.J. told them what she wanted and why she wanted it and they were so excited for her. My favorite part of them asking her questions was her answer to how do you see your wish playing out?   J.J.’s answer was so sweet.  She said she could see her brothers and sisters saying, “Wow J.J.!  You are really good at keeping secrets.  This is amazing!  You are the best!”  She could hardly contain her excitement.

    Brooke and Marcy told her that they were unsure if they could make that wish come true but that they would really try hard.  It wasn’t a wish that they had ever had before.  They asked her for a second option in case they couldn’t make the first wish come true.  J.J.’s request for her second wish was to adopt a baby.  Brooke and Marcy told her that they couldn’t make the second wish come true.  They asked her if there was anything else and J.J. told them no.

    Marcy and Brooke talked to J.J. about what they would do when they told her siblings.  They came up with a plan to have a reveal party so that J.J. could surprise her brothers and sisters with the plans.  Marcy and Brooke asked her if she wanted a pizza party, or cake, or cookies?  J.J. asked if she could have a Slim Jim and Pepsi party.  That was a first for them I think.  lol

    What can I say the girl really likes Slim Jims…

    We had been told that wishes can take a long time to be planned.  That they would let us know when they heard anything.  We were so surprised when just a few weeks later MAW called and said that they found a company willing to work with them and they had a plan they were sending our way.   It was amazing!  We couldn’t wait to show J.J.

    Marcy and Brooke emailed and said that we could have a reveal party.  I told them our son and family would be home from Wisconsin next weekend and asked them if that was too soon to have the party.  They were beyond kind and agreed to having a party on very short notice.  We decided not to tell J.J. about the party so that she could be surprised too.  We would have her play down in the basement with her siblings and then Grace, who was in on the secret, would bring her up and we would surprise J.J. and then we would bring up everyone else and she could surprise them.  Marcy came up with a great idea where everyone got an envelope and inside the envelope was a picture of the playground.   J.J. had them hand out the envelopes and then she counted to three and had them open the envelopes.

    In hindsight I realize that we probably shouldn’t have surprised her.  She needs time to adjust to things. I remember when we gave her her first wheelchair.  She sat in the chair and cried for an hour because she was so overwhelmed with the gift.

    She was very quiet during her party.  She was happy but I could tell something wasn’t quite right.  After it was all said and done I asked her what was wrong.  She told me that she was just so happy that she was having a hard time not crying and she didn’t want Marcy and Brooke to see her tears and think she didn’t like her party.

    So now we wait for the very special date when they will install her playground. We have heard that it could be as soon as next month.  I still can’t believe this is happening but this is one gift that will be used over and over again.  In the plans, J.J. got her low-to-the-ground monkey bars, a covered slide, and a tunnel to hide out in.

    J.J. picked the perfect gift.  She has such a sweet heart.  Dan and I LOVE the way she included everyone in her idea.  I can’t wait to watch them play and hear their laughter while they enjoy J.J.’s gift.   We are going to call it “J’s Play Place” so everyone remembers to be thankful to their sister who included them in her dream.

    Thank you  Make-A-Wish Iowa for making one very special little girl’s dream come true.