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Look Up!
All we wanted to do was just go home. After Evie’s surgery was cancelled, that’s really all I wanted, to go home and hug my other kids. I know there are worst things in the world than getting stuck in an airport for two days. (Ben’s Story) Please take a moment and look at this mama’s blog. Although, it is true that the topic is very sad, her faith and Ben’s life are beautiful things. Please pray for the family’s peace during this time, especially Ben’s twin, and all the other families going through the same thing without all the social media support.
A friend of mine even went so far as to say that maybe God needed us to talk to or touch someone else’s life. I know that these things are true. I’ve seen it happen too many times to not believe it. Have you ever met someone who was exactly the person you needed to talk to at just the right moment? Have you ever stopped to wonder when you meet that person, just what it took for that encounter to happen? One extra stop light, one more delay, and you would have never met. It always amazes me how orchestrated all those small moments are in our lives. It just shows God’s hand in the smallest of details.
As I walked around the Newark Airport, I thought about that. I thought about whose story I might just need to hear. I thought about Ben and Ben’s mom. I thought about how she would give just about anything to be holding Ben and spending hours just walking around an airport. It is all about perspective. I could have been angry that I had to spend hours walking in circles holding Evie, but what would that have changed? So instead I watched people. I watched people yell, scream, and berate people who had no control over whether or not the planes took off. I watched many, many, many people text and play games on their devices. I saw a few people sleep. I saw a few people reading books. There were very few people interacting with anyone other than who they traveled with. If they were alone, they were on a device or sleeping.
How many conversations do we miss because we refuse to look up? How many new and wonderful people could we meet if we just said “Hi!”? How can we ever expect to impact anyone else’s life if we never listen to their stories or share our own stories? I will admit that I’m just as guilty as the next person. In an elevator it is easier to stare at your screen than look someone in the eye. It’s uncomfortable so we avert our eyes and we believe those tiny screens are the perfect excuse.
I spent over 10 hours each day in the airport, I had lots of time to watch people. I watched people almost knock Evie over because they wouldn’t look up from their phones. They never even noticed that they almost hit Evie and then I started to pay attention to who did notice Evie.
Almost everyone we met, who was in a wheelchair, noticed Evie. They waved and Evie blew them kisses. We met a grandma who was going to San Diego to meet her son and then on to Norway and then taking a riverboat down the Danube. How exciting. She was almost 80 years old and still actively living her life. She talked about our adopting. She talked about teaching children English as a second language. We discussed many things. She watched Evie who proceeded to tell this grandma that she was a good girl for throwing away her garbage. Evie smiled at her and charmed her with all her Evie ways. Enough so that this 80 year old grandma said, “She could almost make you wish you had more and I was never one to really enjoy being around a lot of children.”
Evie told workers they did a good job. People who probably never get a thank you for picking up trash or serving fries. Evie thanked them and told them good job. Evie smiled and made faces at countless people. There were a few times Dan and I didn’t even notice that Evie was making silly faces at someone. We would be eating our meal and look down to see Evie making the fishy face or some other goofy face. Almost every single time it was an older lady sitting alone at a table. Evie paid attention to them. They were no longer invisible in an airport. These women commented on her over the top personality. They would stop by our table and say to us, “Don’t you just smile all day long with her?” Yes, it is true. Evie is a beautiful soul. We are blessed to have her in our lives.
We rode the moving sidewalks over and over again. She would giggle and giggle. As I said, many people never even noticed her. Many people almost hit her. But many people who were on their phones stopped what they were doing when Evie smiled at them. They smiled back and they waved. One young security officer walked past us while texting, he noticed Evie, stopped his texting and said hi. He stopped about ten feet away and just watched Evie laugh as she rode along. He looked at me and said, “It really is about the little things in life, isn’t it?” He just stood there and watched Evie enjoy life.
Many people are in a rush. Many people just look for someone to yell at. I’ve was surprised at the number of truly rude people. I understand that sometimes you need to rush. I’ve been the person sprinting through the airport trying to make a connection, but not everyone who was rushing truly needed to be, and there is rarely a time that you truly need to be rude.
It’s the older people, the people with young ones who have to move just a little bit slower, who have noticed Evie. I wonder how much we miss in our everyday lives because we are in such a rush or to busy to bring our eyes up from the phone.
I’ve been bored and I’ve been on my phone, but there’s a difference between checking your phone and not being able to look up from your phone. It’s like we are so afraid to say “Hi!” to each other. We use our phones as an excuse to not make eye contact. I like the people I meet. I like saying hello. Dan often teases me about what people will say to me.
I met another adoptive mom on the bus ride from terminal C to terminal A. I learned a lot about the frustration of her adoptions. We talked about all sorts of things and encouraged each other.
Two different sets of little Asian boys her size ran up to Evie and got right in her face. In both cases, the parents barely noticed. Little ones are so ready to make new friends. It doesn’t matter what color they other person is, how they are dressed, or whether or not they think they have anything in common. Little ones just want to meet and play.
We met a little girl named Emme on our trip. Evie and Emme became fast friends. Emme was one of those three year olds with a huge vocabulary. She told us about her imaginary brothers and sisters. She shared her stuff with Evie. They read books, played with their toys, and just chased each other in the airport. They were instant friends. When do we lose that as children? Why do we lose that? The joy of just making new friends. The joy of sharing our things and visiting? There is such joy in those connections so why do we decide it is no longer important?
I really don’t have any answers. I just wanted to give you something to think about. What could you be missing? Maybe it’s time to slow down and just look up!
