• I just want to go already….

    Date: 2012.02.23 | Category: Benjamin, Grace, Maisey | Tags:

    I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday about going to China.  They have a little girl (who is as cute as can be) that they adopted from China.  Every time I see her I just want to squeeze her.  🙂  We were discussing how sad and scared her daughter was at the very beginning.  My friend said the very next day when they gave their daughter a second bottle it was a turning point.  She was amazed that there was more food.  That just breaks my heart, especially because Benjamin hasn’t grown in the past year. Maisey is 2 and he is almost 4 and there is only 1 pound difference.  Kids with heart defects need extra calories just to grow.  I think about him there in the orphanage needing and wanting more food and it just makes me want to cry.  I hate that my children have had to fend for themselves.  I’m happy that there was a place for them to go.  I’m happy that people have cared for them, but I hate that this world is so imperfect.  I hate that they were abandoned.  It truly breaks my heart.

    On a different note, I took a bunch of stuff to Goodwill today.  Did my spring cleaning early because I’m afraid my spring is going to be very busy.  We have stuff in boxes that we carted from Iowa City 10 years ago.  As I was looking at the stuff, I kept asking myself why have you held on to this?  Now was a wonderful time to just go through everything.  My motivation?  Watching my mother-in-law go through her father’s house full of 90+ years of papers.  She found papers from the 1920’s.  I don’t want to do that to my children.  Although, the papers were kind of cool to look at.  As I was dropping off my stuff at Goodwill, I was thinking about all the useless, unnecessary stuff I buy.  The gentlemen at the door was talking to Grace about the clothes that were being packed up and how they send some of them overseas to people who don’t have anything.  Gracie was very touched by that.  Grace & I discussed how it’s hard when you see something pretty and you would like to have it, but you don’t really need it.  We should just walk away and see if we even remember it in a week.  How much better would it be to give that amount to someone else?  I have done so many things wrong with my money.  It makes me want to be better.  Which led me back to Maisey & Benjamin, I’m so happy they will soon be part of my family.  I’m also sad that there are so many hurting kids out there without a family.  I may not be able to adopt any more, because the legal system frowns at adopting over 50 – which I suppose makes sense.  I can, however, sponsor some orphans.  I may get up to that 12 child mark that I once talked about in high school.  Sounds like a good goal to me.