• I Hate Indifference

    Date: 2015.06.13 | Category: Adoption, Faith | Tags:

    I know hate is a pretty harsh word, but I am having a hard time being quiet about it.   Maybe I should have titled it I Hate Indifference or How our Family Decided to Try and Make a Difference!  We no longer wish to suffer from depraved indifference.

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    Recently I was in the ER with Elyse.   Our visit was in the middle of the night and she shared many, many things with me.  I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it is to listen to your child tell you of their abuse in such a matter of fact way.   No tears or shaking or trembling of the voice, just words said normally like they happened to someone else or as if they deserved it.

    In January, when we adopted Elyse, she was an over-the-top, bubbly, joyful child, but she told us over and over again that she would NOT be learning English.  She said she would stay with us awhile but she was not going to be a part of all this family stuff.  Her heart was definitely still in China.  I was so worried that she would not bond.  I knew that it was going to take forever to reach her and that hurt my heart.

    When Jasmine ended up in the hospital for so long, just weeks after we got home, I thought it would take even longer to bond, but just the opposite happened.  Because Elyse, who is very talkative could no longer communicate, she had to learn English.  She spent more time with other family members besides Jasmine.  She found out that she missed Dan and I.  She decided she really liked having parents and lots of brothers and sisters.

    In this past month we have seen a huge turnaround.  She loves to tell people she is an American.  She tells me that she loves me and that she is sorry for the way she treated me in China.  She is the first to ask if I’m okay or if I need anything.  She has asked that we only use her English name. At first, I didn’t understand why the change came about but I was thankful that my early worries about her not attaching to the family were wrong.

    In the ER, as she was telling me about what happened to her in China, she also told me that she now knew that she didn’t deserve to be hit.  She said that she knew if people truly loved you then they would protect you.  She told me Dan and I taught her that.  She said I love my family and I want to stay here forever.   This was a huge break through for her and the first steps in helping her to heal.

    I have a hard time with the abuse stories and the neglect stories.  I know they aren’t everyone stories but they belong to too many orphans.  Too many orphans are abandoned because their parents can not provide the care they need.  Too many orphans end up abused and forgotten.  Too many children are neglected world wide and I know it isn’t just an orphanage issue.   It happens here and all around the world.  Children are being trafficked.  Children are growing up alone and sent into the world alone.

    But if you ask most people they have no clue this is going on or to what degree it happens.  I know I didn’t know.  I lived in my own little world and didn’t believe that I could do anything about the world’s problems.  Truth-be-told, I didn’t think the world problems were any of my concern, but I was wrong.  Indifference is in epidemic forms right now.  We care so much about me, me, me and we have forgotten what God has called us to do.

    Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:4

    Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.  Galatians 6:2

    But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?  Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.  1 John 3:17-18

    He who gives to the poor will never want, But he who shuts his eyes will have many curses.  Proverbs 28:27

    Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.   James 1:27

    These are just a few.  We know we are commanded, but we are too busy or too poor or too (insert excuse here) to do anything about it.  We all do it.  It seems overwhelming. What can one person do?  I’d be the first to admit that.  I am not here to lecture but merely to remind you that you can make a difference.

    Everyone can make a difference.  The first choice is to stop being indifferent and open your eyes.

    Our family chose to make a difference when we couldn’t let Hope die alone in the hospital.  The kids were little (Zach was 11 and Cassie was 6) but they understood no child should die alone in the hospital without a name or people to love them.  I didn’t think about it in the term “we were making a difference”.  We just did what we felt was the right thing to do.

    When we chose to adopt again, everyone in the family was on board.  I will admit that we didn’t fully understand the plight of the orphan until we stepped foot in an orphanage, but we quickly began to understand.

    We decided that this would be our family mission.  We wanted to raise awareness for the orphan.  We wanted to spread the news about adoption.  Many people complain that adoption is too hard or too expensive but I am telling you the cost is much greater when we do nothing.  The cost of souls that believe they are worth nothing and deserve to be abused is too great.   You want to save lost souls?  What better way than to show them the love of the Father?

    We can no longer do nothing.

    I have read this verse in the Bible many times.

    Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says. James 1:22

    And then I read it in the King James version.  For some reason, it had more impact on me.

    But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only…

    BE DOERS!!!!

    That is pretty clear.  So what are you doing?

    We realized that our family was probably done adopting but there were so many more children who wait.  How could we just stop?  How could we do nothing?  We decided to join with Love Without Boundaries because they helped us find two of our daughters through their advocating on their blog.  The more we learned of their programs the more in love with this organization we were.  They do what they say they are going to do with the money received.  They have a 4 star rating on Charity Navigator.  They have a cleft exchange, education programs, the Unity Fund (which helps families stay in tact by getting their child the surgery they need), foster care programs and more.  When you sponsor a child or give towards a surgery, you get updates.  Ever wondered where your money goes when you send off a check to an organization?  Well, wonder no more.

    So what is stopping you from being a doer?

    Right now LWB is trying to help a mother who has been using social media to reach out to others to try and get her children medical help.  It’s amazing how hard this mother has fought and now there is hope.  Can you imagine not being able to get the care you need for  your children?  Won’t you please consider joining with LWB and help them get the care they need?  (A mother’s plea)

    Start here.  Every dollar counts.  Then open your eyes to what God lays before you.  Is there a neighbor who needs helps?  A widow?  A single mother?   Be a doer!!!!

    Anne Frank says it best – “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

    (This video is almost 8 minutes long but it is worth every minute.)