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Every day is a choice.
I’ve had an interesting few weeks. It’s hard to put into words, but I’ll try. Dan and I have both had in depth discussions about our children with others. It’s hard sometimes because even if you just start out saying we have 7 (never 8 unless you are standing in a line at a store and you can safely assume no one will ask you to list your children and their current ages) it usually leads to something more. A question gets asked and you explain, but that explanation leads into another child and more explanations are needed and it goes on and on and then people just stare at you. I try hard to keep it short, but that isn’t always easy.
Dan and I don’t see our family as unusual but others do. I don’t walk around all day considering their medical issues. I play with them and teach them and love up on them just as much as I can. But the reality is….
Kyle is gone and my arms will remain empty.
Codey has had so many shunt surgeries that they couldn’t place the drainage tube in his abdomen anymore.
Hope’s ventricle is still gone and she has a major scar down the middle of her chest.
Gracie’s lupus is not behaving as well as it should be and she’s not very happy about not being able to do the usual summer activities – like play outdoors for hours on end.
Benjamin has very few, if any options.
Maisey will always have a hard time hearing and will have to deal with issues from her small chin and misshapen ears.
Every day I have the choice to wake up and see the condition or the child. I choose to see the child. I choose to hear the laughter. I choose to be happy. Some days are definitely easier than others, but I always have a choice. Every day I have the choice to turn it over to God and let Him handle it. I was once told that it was interesting to see the interactions in our house because they knew of all our children’s medical conditions but that we didn’t act like our house was full of sick kids. That was a nice comment.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
The issue I am having now is telling others our story. Last month I bought Benjamin a train at a garage sale. The lady was talking about how everyone looked at the $30 price tag and wouldn’t pay it. She was unwilling to come down on the price because there was over $200 worth of train there. She said she was glad that someone was buying it who understood how much it was worth. She was so upset about having to sell this train set. I almost told her that it was going to a little boy who has been in an orphanage for over 3 years and who was very sick. I stopped though because I hate saying things because I worry that others will think I’m looking for praise. After I got home and was thinking about it, I realized she probably would have felt better hearing who it was going to. Plus, by not telling their story, others who might be encouraged to adopt or to pray for or to support an orphan, don’t get to hear the best part – how absolutely wonderful it has been to adopt. I try hard to make the conversations about how God has worked in our lives. God placed these children on our hearts. God brought them to us. I choose to praise this God for all that He has done.
Now therefore, our God, we thank You, and praise Your glorious name … 1 Chronicles 29:13
Every day with these guys is a wonderful gift. Imagine Christmas every single morning. I just put a brand new sheet on Ben’s crib mattress and he rolled around on it like it was the best thing he had ever seen – laughing and rubbing his hands all over it. He loves everything – bubbles, trains, chicken nuggets – you name it he loves it. He is so thankful every time he gets something. He dances around and sings. It really is the sweetest thing. He runs up to you and says thank you over and over again and hugs you so tight. I am so blessed by being able to love these two (and my other 6). It is such a sweet gift.
Every day you have the choice. What will you choose today?
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
