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Elyse’s Mommy
Elyse has been talking about writing a blog just like big sister, Jasmine. She has been begging me to do a blog about her mama. I promised her I would write what she says no matter what, but after typing this I had serious second thoughts. I have sat on this blog post for a while. I gave her time to think about why she wants to say this. She has told me over and over again that she wants people to understand that a child might not be nice in China because they don’t know any better. They might say things and act up because they are afraid or that is what they have been taught. She feels so bad that she judged me in China. I never gave it another thought after the first few times she said it and it still haunts her that she was mean to the person who came to give her love and a family.
In the end I decided to share this because I thought it was very insightful for a nine year old and it is a small insight into the mind of an child when their whole world is turned upside down. She is truly the sweetest, most caring, helpful little girl. I was afraid she would never attach to me. I was fearful that I would never be the mother she wanted. I was afraid she would never be happy with living in America. I was afraid all those lessons she was taught early in her life were part of who she was forever. The girl Elyse was when we first met her and who she is just 8 months later is vastly different. We are very close and I am very blessed to get to be her mama.
When mama was in China, people take a picture of me and mama. I saw mommy and did not know what to think. I was really mad and really grumpy. I thought Zach and Stephanie (brother and sister-in-law) were my mama and daddy. Mama said, “We go somewhere.” and I said, “NO!” I was really mad at mom. Sometimes I didn’t listen to her.
Sometimes I go to eat with Zach and Stephanie and mama. Sometimes I not be nice to mama. I feel bad now. I sometimes say bad word to mama. I say that she is fat. In China it not good to be fat. We laugh at fat. I make mama feel bad. I say it many times to many people.
I talk to mama about it after we be home for long time. I tell mama that I am sorry for saying bad word. Mama said, “I forgive you. I was not mad.” Mama said, “It only made me sad for a minute. I am heavy. It’s the truth. It’s ok.” Daddy said, “Mama already forgive you. You don’t have to feel bad about it.” But my heart is a little bit sad but mama said, “You don’t know me in China. It’s ok.” Right now I don’t do it because I know mama and I love my mama. I learn that fat don’t make you a bad person.
In China, I say, “I no learn English.” Mama said, “You will learn.” I said, “Mama I don’t. It too hard.” I tell her I no learn English cause I marry Chinese boy.
We went on a boat. I say, “I don’t like pizza. I won’t eat pizza.” Mama said “Just try it.” and I say, “No!” Stephanie say, “Just try it.” I said, “Mmmmm. Pizza is good!” The water was very pretty. It was very much fun. I sorry I was so mad.
I took a big bath in the hotel. It was so much fun. Mama said, “It’s time for bed and she signed ‘night night'” We had two beds but I asked mama to sleep by me. I was afraid. I patted the bed and she know what I say. Mama sleep by me. At night I didn’t sleep. I take pictures and watch t.v. I didn’t listen to mama when she said to go to bed.
Mama said, “We have to adopt Max too.” But I said, “No! I want to go to America.” Mama said, “We can’t leave Max in China.”
Then we went on a big plane for a very big time and we went to America.
We be in America for a long time. Jasmine go to the hospital and I learn English very good. Gracie and Cassie help me.
One day I cry because China say I can’t do anything, but mama and daddy say you can do anything. They say I can cook, drive a car, go to school. They say I can do anything. I cry and cry because I can’t do anything because I in a wheelchair and I am worthless. I know cause China said. I can not do anything. Mama and daddy said, “You can do everything! Dream big!”
In my house Jasmine and Codey are in wheelchairs. Jasmine can say Chinese and Jasmine explain it to me in Chinese that I can do anything and I believe it. Mommy and daddy show me videos with lots of people get married and do lots of things. I can go to school. I believe it!
I have lots of little brothers and sisters. Gracie every day she help me. She help me learn English. She shares her stuff with me and her room. She tell me it our room. She helps me get in bed.
In China they say, “I can go to America. Have a special surgery and fix your legs. Then I can get married and walk and do everything and be happy.” But that’s not true. It make me very sad. Mommy and daddy say they would fix it if they could.
I really happy mommy and daddy adopted me. I get to be called daughter. Mama said, “I so happy you are my daughter and I can be your mom.” Every day I wake up and mommy helps me get up and in my wheelchair. Everyday she say she love me.
I so happy mama and daddy love me and every day hug me. Every day they say they love me.
