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A Little Bit of Everything
My blog about older adopting older children:
A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about adopting the older child. (Beauty Admist the Pain ) I still feel very strongly that people need to step up and help these children. However, after I wrote this blog another article was brought to my attention talking about some of the corruption that is happening with older children’s adoptions. You can read that blog post here. Fraud in Older Adoptions Revealed
I still stand by my words that you need to find out as much information as you can about the child before proceeding. I know of cases that were absolutely devastating to the family, but I also believe that there are children waiting to be adopted that desperately want the love of a family and would be a good fit for some family some where. There are many beautiful older souls languishing in orphanages and the foster care system who are good, wonderful, caring children. I know because I am a mother who is blessed enough to love one.
Family:
The kids are doing well. Lainey has made great progress and has even started saying some words. Evie is walking all over the place. Everyone else has been healthy (knock on wood) and making great progress.
In less than a month’s time starting on Christmas Eve we lost three members of our immediate family. Mom died Christmas Eve with her Celebration Service being on her birthday, January 5th. Her husband and my stepfather, Will, passed away on January 13th with his service being January 18th. Right after the service for Will was over we received notice that my grandfather had had a stroke and was being taken to the hospital. My grandpa, Pop as I called him, passed away on January 20th with his services being held on January 24th. It has been a horrible time for the family. Especially for my grandma who would have celebrated her 73rd wedding anniversary on May 10th. 72 years with a person is a very long time and her heart has been very sad with losing my mom, who was her best friend only a few weeks before her husband. Please keep her in your prayers.
What I’ve learned from all this hardship:
1.) It’s easier to lose someone if they are in poor health and you have time to plan. In the end, it almost seems a blessing. But that is only true if you know that person is a believer. Knowing someone is rejoicing in heaven is a beautiful thing. It’s hard to be sad when you know there will one day be a glorious reunion.
2.) If you aren’t sure if your family member believes, ask them. I always assumed that my stepfather was a believer. He said he went to church when he was younger, but I never had any indepth conversations about it. It just never came up. It was very hard talking to little Gracie after his death. She was so worried about his soul. (Sometimes it is hard to believe Gracie is only 8.) No one wants regrets of being able to save a soul and not having said anything.
3.) It’s good to let your family members know exactly what your wishes are. When they are in a state of shock, it’s helpful to be able to say with certainty that this is what your loved ones wanted. It was easy to plan mom’s service because she had said over and over again what she wanted. It was nice to be able to implement her wishes and celebrate her life.
4.) Don’t be the invisible mom! Make sure you are in pictures with your loved ones, especially your kids. I went through tons of pictures trying to find pictures for the slideshow. I realized I always take the pictures. I am rarely in the pictures. I know my children know I was at their birthday parties and special events, but someday their children may wonder where Grandma was.
5.) Enjoy each and every day. It truly is a gift to live in the present. Don’t assume you have tomorrow. If you have things that need to be said, say them. If you have people you need to forgive, forgive them. If you love someone, make the time for them.
6.) Don’t talk about people unless you were there and can state something is fact. My brother found my stepfather and this has been very hard on him. People in the small towns all have their own ideas about what happened and all the gossip I have been told second and third hand was wrong.
7.) People actually break into people’s homes during their funerals and after their deaths. Yes, there really are people that are that low. Mom’s house was broken into. I am still in shock about that. The sheriff said it often happens. Who knows what was taken? Who knows what they messed with? It made me so angry. Not because of the items that we know were taken, the t.v., dvd player, etc. Just the thought that someone went through her stuff before we had the chance to. It’s just so sad.
8.) Your days are limited. They are numbered. You can pretend all you want but someday you will leave behind the people you love. Make sure they know how much you love them with actions not just words. On your last day, you will take NOTHING with you. Remember that. That job you work so hard at won’t be holding your hand at the end. Your diplomas won’t add another day to your life. Those vacations won’t keep you warm while you lie in your hospice bed. Regrets are a horrible thing. Don’t waste your life. Do something with it and love your family and friends.
9.) I don’t want another year to just pass by. Do you? Why not make 2014 a year to remember? Do something great for the Lord! What is your passion? What is your calling? What can you do? Everyone can do something. Everyone has a passion. Praying you find yours and you make 2014 the year you made a difference.
