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Benjamin
I thought I would share some about the adoption, not to brag, but to let others know just how great it can be. I have had so many people comment on how amazed they are that the little ones have bonded with the whole family already, even Codey. It has been a little over 2 months since we’ve been home. Ben coughs for Codey (those who know Codey will understand this). He runs to the kids when they get home. I can’t explain what it feels like to have them look at you with such love. Ben woke up from a nightmare last night and I said, “Ben I’m here.” He laughed out loud, grabbed my face and stroked it, said “I love you mama” and went right back to sleep. A little over 2 months ago he had night terrors that you couldn’t reach him through and now this. I cried tears of joy. It has been so unbelievably wonderful. It has also shown me just how much we take for granted with our kids. The fact that they trust us and love us so unconditionally is amazing. I didn’t fully get it with Hope maybe because she was a baby when we adopted her. Don’t take things for granted – those little arms around your neck and those sweet, sloppy kisses are an amazing thing.
I also have to share just what kind of boy Benjamin is. Dan and I had to have serious discussions about the ramifications of bringing a child into our family that has such a severe, untreatable heart defect. His oxygen saturations in the 60 percent range. We know his time is limited and that is a lot to ask of your other children, but they were all on board with eager, open hearts. Benjamin is such a sweet soul. Everyone comments on how sweet he is. I am blessed with each and every day that I get to spend with him. It is so hard to explain. Today we went to the doctor to get his cbc to check his platelets. He saw a train sticker and wanted to get it for Garner and then he saw a Dora sticker. He asked the nurse “Please for Mei Mei?” and then he gave the sticker to Maisey. The nurse asked if he is always like this and I emphatically said yes. The thought of him being in an orphanage for as long as he was breaks my heart and yet he is seemingly untouched by the cold harsh realities of that time. The fact that his biological parents abandoned him at 9 months and are now missing out on such a sweet, sweet boy makes me sad. The fact that his days will be shortened breaks my heart if I dwell on it. It just makes each and every day we do have a little bit sweeter. Don’t let fear stop you from taking a big leap of faith – what lies on the other side just might be the best thing that ever happened to you.